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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bum Sex & Wind

388 replies

PhantomFluffer · 02/07/2010 20:26

Sorry to lower the tone, but it is Friday and I've waited a while to find some advice/empathy for the following the problem. It sounds hysterical, indeed if I were to read about this on mn I would be rofl. However, it is a genuine problem and I'm wondering if it's a common occurrence.

Dh and I have recently began engaging in erm...rear entry bedroom antics. The issue is, immediately afterwards I suffer dreadful wind and if I pop to the loo I will almost blow the toilet off the wall and also well, pebble dash the pan. I also continue to be a bit windy the following day and worst of all I have no control over it

We only ever engage in such activities if I been to the loo within a couple of hours previous. The post shag messiness is really off putting and I often wonder how gay men put up with it! Is there something I can do? I'm not really keen on enemas or wash outs or whatever as it's always a spontaneous thing.

OP posts:
partytime · 04/07/2010 18:51

ok know what you are talking about now

can many people do it?

don't think i do.

lemonysweet · 04/07/2010 18:52

i've done it.

partytime · 04/07/2010 18:54

gosh, maybe i'm abnormal then, it sounds like quite a talent to have

PlasticCenturion · 04/07/2010 19:08

I'm good at puzzles.

Malificence · 04/07/2010 19:11

Squirting's definitely not a myth and has been discussed at length on MN, I seem to remember "I'm a squirter" T-shirts being discussed.

It's one of those things that you have absolutely no control over, it's the simple luck of having a partner with talented fingers or being at the right angle internally to massage your front wall at just the right spot. It's a curiosity rather than an "oh my god, that was fantastic" moment, DH finds it highly amusing, bet he wouldn't if I caught him in the eye. It's a fuss about nothing imho, all it means is a bigger wet patch.

Ripeberry · 04/07/2010 19:14

Doesn't all this bumsex make you leak? Tis not natural..yuck!

EricNorthmansmistress · 04/07/2010 19:16

Ripeberry no it doesn't. Plenty of things aren't 'natural' (monosodium glutamate, makeup, aeroplanes...) but we enjoy them anyway.

AnyFucker · 04/07/2010 19:25

Whatever works between consenting (non-coerced) partners is natural, I say

lemonysweet · 04/07/2010 19:48

whatever gets you going!

AnyFucker · 04/07/2010 20:07

the fish and chips I just scoffed (with fluorescent green mushy peas) was sooooooo far from natural

but, Gawd, it was good

whomovedmychocolate · 04/07/2010 20:33

I fear it's time for my regular bumsex joke:

What's the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

AnyFucker · 04/07/2010 20:38

gah

whomovedmychocolate · 04/07/2010 20:42

Q: What is the difference between a
micowave and anal sex?

A: The microwave doesn't brown your meat.

Jacksmama · 04/07/2010 20:43

That's baaaaaaaaaaaaad!

partytime · 04/07/2010 20:45

love the joke will remember that one

loving the thread too, great entertainment and i am learning so much, i am so inexperienced, only been with exh in 25 years, apart from drunken ONS a few weeks ago.

i am soooo naive (sp.)

TDiddy · 04/07/2010 20:46

Some of us guys have all the luck in the world bumsex on a one night stand what some wont get in a life time of marriage.

Oh interesting that many of you are implying that there is a (central) role for small bum friendly dicks. I think small dicks should come forward and claim their territory?

AnyFucker · 04/07/2010 20:48

pt...stick with MN, you are in good hands

Malificence · 04/07/2010 20:51

Lucky bumsex?

Gigantaur · 04/07/2010 20:52

is your name (tDIDDY) a hint as to why you are so pleased with this revelation

bibbitybobbityhat · 04/07/2010 20:52

Farrah Fawcett died of anal cancer. And was ill for many years. Poor lady. And no one really took much notice because she died on the same day as Michael Jackson.

whomovedmychocolate · 04/07/2010 20:53

Sing a song of bum sex
A rectum full of cum
Four & twenty fat cocks
Forced up your bum

When the orgy?s over
And your bum begins to sting
Wasn?t it a bad idea
To take it up the ring

AnyFucker · 04/07/2010 20:54

< sigh >

TDiddy · 04/07/2010 21:01

Gigantaur - yes, I am tdiddy wryly and I smile at your challenge.

Oh and are you GIGANTaur?

partytime · 04/07/2010 21:04

pmsl at sing a song of bum sex

i definitely need to get out more

Gigantaur · 04/07/2010 21:09

yes. im 6'1 and size 24...makes me pretty huge in womens terms so i am gigantaur.

but, i've not got a bucket thankfully