ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 5

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity.

Still raining here, glad you managed to get out for a walk Patience. I've the two youngest in bed & girls are watching home alone

Way to go Startin'{im sure we have a Next to Nothing shop here its like discount Next need to make the journey ,not been for years
will google it ....

2 in bed wow v impressed Startin, we are still eating LOL !

hey everyone, have just managed to read through and catch up! Got totally absorbed last night in iplayer of 2 progs about Live Aid backstory - 3 HRS watching and no MN, completely absorbed. I thoroughly recommend the progs if you are of that vintage - the bands! The HAIR! x10

Anyway, followed that with trip to shops for new lipstick (am such a cliche ladies ) and very un-me Karen Millen trousers - if someone can explain how to post links I can show....

starting hope this is comfort to your angst re retail therapy vs more deep and meanigful - I had to do the former today as head banging with the latter. DD1 away at my folks' so took little DD2 with me and she was amazingly good considering her years (2.5), although she did manage to bare my bottom to a changing room full of people when playing 'boo' with the curtain

patience, you are right about so many things don't know where to start, but suffice to say am soaking it all up. The fabulosity is definitely needed and sadly lacking for me atm so will keep an eye out for tips

armbo forgot to say love the clip

for the days when bikinis had big pants, so much more forgiving on thighs and tum

Patience, you're forgetting I dragged them out of their beds at 5 am..........

Mummy, mine regularly manage to expose either my bum or a boob in public also . At this stage I've become immune to it.......... Just below the smileys it explains how to do links

Hi everyone,

I keep meaning to catch up and jump back in, fully informed and up to date but the longer I leave it the harder it gets. SO much has been going on with you all, I can't keep up and It would take me ages to read through it all and I'd get in a muddle. Plus......I find your name changing quite disconserting Patience (I don't like change......set in my ways !)I do like the name Patience though, better than Tougher.

Must admit I do trawl through chat and AIBU and a couple of others.....lurk around the edges, there's been some dreadful goings on, lots of nasty fights etc. Then I come back to the calmness and saftey of the lovely dumplings and it's all too overwhelming and I don't know where to start.

I never do today what I can put off till tomorow. Then tomorow becomes next week, next month etc.

Anyway, Happy....are you the petitioner in the divorce ?

Getting....have fun tonight....I went speed dating a few months ago. Had quite a laugh,
went on my own, it was very empowering.

Yes it's a lovely evening. London will be packed with happy drinkers and buzzing.

Want to know more about your friend !

I went to the garden center today and got loads of gorgeous plants, delphinium etc as a 'decree absolute' present for myself.

Going to plant them all tomorow and the garden will be gorgeous again.

Starting.......STEP AWAY FROM THE SALES...... and Mumfun.....please don't encourage her with thoughts of on line shopping, she's just spent months restoring order to her house and if we don't reign her in we'll be back to square one. How many macs does one woman need ???

Starting....buy some nice hardy perrenials (plants not clothes btw) instead.

Hello to everyone else.

I'm going to try and keep up

doh! starting thanks

and after all that they are not on the KM site to total waste of time

all this is attempt to take my mind off the fact that numpty soon-to-be XH has been away in Mexico for 9 days and has not emailed DDs once, despite having been in touch with other people. Does my head in . Is away anohter 3 weeks

GRRRR

evening ladies

did you have a nice time last night LC?
hope you are having a fab time right now getting.

caught myself talking to myself before ladies ... thin end of the wedge

i loathe crowds in sales, much prefer the online option. i get all hassled in the hustle and bustle
the next near me is tiny and you can't fit 2 people in the aisles let alone a buggy so i dread to think what that place was like today.

fabulosity mission:
today i separated all h's paperwok (bills/passport etc) from mine put his in a cardboard box for him to collect when he next sees the kids.

today I gave my hair a nice swishy blow dry, painted toe nails and started doing sit ups.

feel good today

Armbow, that sounds spot on, you should feel great

with your example, am going to give myself credit for having finally tackled my home office one evening last week, did exactly as you describe re h's stuff and also binned extrodinary amounts of tat which explains why i always felt wedged in there like it was a cupboard. Has been a much nicer place to work since then

I only sorted paperwork last week and dropped at H's too. My desk and PC is all neat and tidy now. Feels so much better.

Armbow you sound like you've had a fab day and all part of the journey in moving on. Well done!

Mummyilubyou your DD sounded like an absolute star, trousers sound lush too! Try not to think about your H if possible. It just confirms you've made the right choice.

I've read some of your comment on other threads I've lurked on and smiled at what you've said. Love it. Sounds like you've had a nice day too.

I'm off to cook myself something to eat, a little late but DD has only just gone to bed, as she had a long and late nap today. I shouldn't have allowed it really and just put her to bed early but it meant I could really get on with some household chores

I am slowly loosing the will to live here.........spoke too soon & have spent the last hr & half running up & down the stairs to younger two dc's who are still awake & hyper.

Pink, pmsl but on a serious note I have actually thought of you each time I attempt to cram something else into the wardropes . My 3mts of decluttering & steralising xh's presence from the house now seems a distant memory .

Armbow, feel slightly listening to the positive stuff you're doing, will have to take a leaf out of your book........

Mummy, I found that stuff v hard to accept with xh. It's heartbreaking when they are able to detach from dc's like that .

Were you really up at 5am Startin' v impressed
Pink sorry for my ever changing names just thought Maybees was way by its sell by date but tough wasnt sexy enough LOL
AB love your feel good vibe
Pink love your herbeaceous talk ,what did you buy,still have flowers in my kitchen window.. change them regular but vase has been there since my Spring clean /dumpling meet up day,
Mummy ive bought jeans recently that have a strap below the belt sort of pocket to pocket, perfect for a 3yo to swing off and pull down at any opportunity I dont think river island took this into consideration when they designed them but seriously tempting to swing on if you are little
person wanting to have a laff by baring mummys bum bum .
My first step to fabulosity was the serenity prayer "To accept the things i cannot change"
I think that should be my tattoo TBH and my "Patience obtains all things",if you can find peace in the tumult and self love you will shine mummy.
i have read alot about chakra work crystals and i am looking at colour therapy work.wear a lot of black and want to love my colours again,so nice to walk in woods with a bit of sunshine tonite the greens of the grass and the moss are stunning .
Love to everyone going to run the bath now i am having a serious no stress day and running very late ,we are still watching mickey mouse clubhouse ,hot dog hot dog hot diggety dog

Patience, did you not see my post above where in my enthuasism I dragged dc's from their beds at 5 am to get to sale & be back in time for playdate at the ungodly hour of 7am lol! Pmsl at your dc's swinging from your jeans, they're the same age as mine so I know exactly what you're up against .

nite all, yes really - NOT going to stay up until 1am watching 80's-tastic pop-documentary this time, but get some beauty sleep

having beautuful things around us whether matching underwear Starting; flowerlicious garden; painted toe-nails; or in my case a new chanel lipstick and a clean kitchen floor/worktops for tranquil sunday breakfast ( at my rock'n'roll lifestyle) definitely helps with the serenity thing. I think there is something about loving ourselves and looking ourselves so that we can be who we want to be, for ourselves and our DCs

Starting, think of the effect all that stairwork will have on your legs

ok, so can't go to bed until I tell of DD1 habit when she was DD2's age of sticking her hand up my skirt........very hot summer and the number of times I leapt a mile in the air whilst chatting to friend/s on the high st as little tickly hand went up my skirt/bare legs

oh and really really final thing, which I maybe should start a new thread about but, what have you all done with the pictures????

I have no idea what to do about happy couple/family pics around the house, of which there are many, inc wedding photos, newborn/delivery suite photos etc etc. I don't want to get rid of them as fear upsetting DD1 in particular (age 7.5) but equally they haunt me as ghosts of past life I'd like to move on from

Probably no 'right' answer but any thoughts appreciated

Evening all. Just trying to catch up with you all. I had a great evening last night but drank a whole bottle of wine so I'm feeling a bit worse for wear today.

I'm having problems with XP at the moment. He hasn't told anyone except OW that we have split, not even his parents. He's still in a hotel and doesn't seem to be coping well. Says he misses us both . But the biggest problem is that he's not letting me move on and have some space. He has seen ds and me every day except Tues this week. Today should have been a free day for me as he took ds to a football tournament but lo and behold when he dropped him off there was an invitation to go bowling. Of course I couldn't say no to ds. Then XP proceeded to touch me in an affectionate way; touching my hands, putting his hand on the small of my back etc. He knows I still love him and there is still a chemistry between us so this is messing my head up big time. I've resolved to have an XP free day tomorrow.

Mummy - I took all the family pictures down and packed them away. i'll keep them for ds when he is older.

Just difficult to retain your dignity when trying to push a trolley or carrying shopping bags,def need to buy a new belt LOL
Must have misread that bit startin re sales and thought you were havin a laff didnt realise you did it haha then ds at sports morning etc you def get the super hero prize today thats total dedication
ok mickey mouse off and not done bath yet we are def rock n roll too mummy its past 10pm anyone else watching harry and his bucket full of dinosaurs .....

I put all photos of h with dcs in their rooms. Everything else tied up in a box and put away. I still have newborn pics around but none with him in. The only trace of him now is in the dcs rooms (which I think is fair enough)

Mummy, can't remember when I last wore a skirt for that v reason .

Photos are indeed a tricky one. What I did was during my decluttering/clear out phase I gradually removed them. I've put lots of new ones up instead. Like you I had the idea that I'd better leave them up for dc's sake but after awhile it kind of just seemed right to take them down. For awhile after separation when I felt ds in particular was missing xh I asked him would he like a picture by his bed & hung one of him & xh together. When I painted his room at xmas I took it down & actually just forgot to put it back up. I leave plenty of photos accessable to dc's & they pull them out whenever they want but I think I've only one now of xh that's part of a set so I left it there for now.

Yeah lots of photo albums for kids to look at just some at my folks of wedding and christening ,but most in frames in my house are of the dcs x

Patience, more a prize for total insanity rather then total dedication . I am happy to report two youngest finally asleep & other 3 have now gone up as well tg..........serenity........

Lc, that sounds v complicated, leaves you in a v vunerable position. I remember xh equally never told anyone we'd split for a long time & I think he really harboured hopes that I'd take him back. Can be v confusing though. A bit of space would be a good thing for you atm.