ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No. 5

[IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity.

Hello ladies sorry you are going thru this too, but everyone is welcome here ,dump away whenever you like,wishing you peace x

Welcome ladies...

Keep posting it truly helps...we try and help each other out Xx

Welcome. Sorry youve found yourself here but hope you can find support! Ive found this group help my road to recovery so much - hop it can help your road too!

well I have to say the wonderful folks on the childcare etc topic were a godsend back in the new year when I was in a spin about finding a nanny

and you lot seem immensely sane

anybody ever feel like they have bored to death their RL friends who's lives are NOT falling apart?

and that worse things happen at sea, grateful for health and kids and should really pull myself together?

and angry that it's been 9 months of something you really didn't sign up for???

but then DD2 says ' mummy i lub you' for the VERY FIRST TIME and actually life is not over

Hello mummyilubyou, welcome to our thread

I go off for a couple of hours and we have new people

Is Breakfast Fairy Getting by any chance? Or is this 2 new people in one day.

I'm so sorry mummyilubyou, your situation sounds very hard, what a twunt (as we like to say on this thread).

It definitely makes it all worth while when they say lovely things like that.

I don't burden RL friends anymore with H either, feel the same way as you. My counselor though certainly gets offloaded on once a week and that is quite cathartic at times.

Feel free to talk on here as others have said. I can't believe his comments about not being interested enough in DCs Makes me very Grrrrrr!!!!

"and that worse things happen at sea, grateful for health and kids and should really pull myself together?

and angry that it's been 9 months of something you really didn't sign up for???"

I feel like that sometimes too but we are coping and taking care of our kids alone. Fellow dumplings reminded me the other day, after a hard hard day with my 2 little ones.

it's all the cliches isn't it? How can he be such a great dad yet do what he has done/is doing? What is dispiriting is hearing how many others are going through the same, in the sense that we seem over-run by useless men..... yet also cheering that it's not just me. Amazing how good XH is at projecting all the blame on to me, in denial about any fault in him

and meanwhile I signed up in a moment of madness to a dating site, just to kind of see who is out there....and some numpty has emailed me saying 'nice pic, life's too short, lets have an affair'..........not a flicker I have to say

Aye the wee ones keep you going

Do whatever you have to do to get rid of your anger that is the biggest thing that got to me after the shock,how dare he make me a bitter and resentful bitch ....thats not who i am ,so i made a focus to feel those emotions but to try and let go of the negativity because it would have eaten me up.I have learned so much on my journey ,this is happening all over the fucking place ,guys craving a bit of xcitement after changing a few nappies and getting closer to 40yo...FFS!
They need a good boot in the hole if you ask me or jump leads attatched to their bollocks...oops where did my serenity go ....it is a constant work in progress ROFL .

tea, know what, we are amazing you are right. XH saying I showed little interest in the girls, yet he is worn thin by a SINGLE DAY looking after them, whilst I have kept the show on the road these 9 months......

one good thing, I have stopped loving him, just feel curiously detatched now and just want to get on with divorce

how on earth one ever trusts anyone else again though is a mystery

TTT, serenity is a challenge I have to say......XH is out of the country for a month, left last Thurs, has not been in touch with the children since, yet has been emailing other people..wtf is that about???? Not interested in the children???

It's not a competition I know, having the moral high ground is a poor consolation but I do wonder what on earth is going on in his head

anger is emotionally exhausting but at least it makes me feel alive, there are days when I am too tired to be angry or anything tbh

[Shock] at the email ! I have had a couple of emails but can't read them as I have not subscribed (i also signed up just for a butchers) I was half tempted just to see what they had written now ..... not so sure "let"s have an affair ? " ffs

Also re RL i think the people you expected to call you dont and the people you wouldnt have dreamt of texting you do,just to check you're ok.Someone once told me if someone isnt really interested in what you are saying then you're talking to the wrong person ,that is so true!!Keep posting.... we've all walked the walk x

Indeed, as you can see from other posts in the last few days, I'm no where near ready to date but also admit to putting a profile on eharmony months and months ago, more out of revenge than an actual desire to date yet. The only guy who kept messaging me lots, filled me with fear and I closed the match! LOL.

Oh yeah my H cannot cope looking after them both at all, ever. But since we separated in October I've looked after 2 little ones day in day out on my own.

I must go to bed, soooo tired and my DS may wake as he's poorly. Although he's usually such a good sleeper, despite being 18 months, I'm so lucky.

night night Tea, get the sleep - signing off too myself shortly

TTT, I have been incredibly lucky that all RL friends and family have been amazing and supportive, am just scared I will be the boring one banging on about sad state of affairs (freudian slip....) and I don't want to be defined by this, I am bigger than this.

have a feeling online is not the place I want to be WRT men IYSWIM - someone earlier in this thread I think talked about meeting men with no date pressure and just enjoying fun, interesting conversations and being treated with respect as an equal human being, which is exactly what I think right now....

hey ho, thanks for making me welcome in the gang, I shall be round and about from now on I should think

night night all, what a rock 'n' roll lifestyle

Think it was Mumfun the other day but Pinksmarties has been having a bit of fun too I think

Right night all.

Ur right to feel the anger and every other emotion much better than repression and when the time is right for you ,THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Try not to expect reasonable behaviour from a man who ATM isnt capable of showing you that IME it just makes you more resentful.Instead enjoy your month of not having to see him and really enjoy your space ,your dcs will cope as long as they have one stable parent.Do as much pampering as you can to re-energise yourself,eat well and play lots of fun daft games with the kids .

We are FUCKING AMAZING no doubt about that !!!

Still not sorted my screen out btw got all my icons on a black margin down RHS ...WTF ?couldnt find rotation startin'

tea, resistence is futile

TTT, that's a great way of looking at it and I must say I feel a lot less stressed knowing I don't have to deal with XH for a few weeks

really am going to bed now

Enjoy the peace nite x

Goodnight all and hello to anyone new! I can't keep up and I'm ever so slightly inebriated tonight (only 2 large glasses, so don't go worrying)

It was a truly crap day. Cry, cry ,cry all day long. I texted XP and said ds is ill, he's your son, it's still legally your house, come and see him if you want. It's up to you. It was the first time he'd set foot in the house in 12 days. I dissolved in a heap. Told him I still loved him (true). Told him I didn't know if I could ever forgive him (true). Reminded him that he obviously didn't love me enough (he didn't deny it).

Then I went to slimming world and apologised for my weight loss(!) of 10.5lb and promptly burst into tears in front of everyone. But all's well that ends well. I managed to tell a few people what had happened and you know, this happens to soooooo many people. It's quite commonplace really. Nothing unique about us ladies! Anyway, two of my slimming world mates are taking me out for a meal (ironic) on Friday.

When i got home big ds had cooked me some dinner and dd came round and made me laugh. So it was a crap day but it's ok now. Ho hum.

Tougher, armbow, tea, mummy, breakfastfairy, mmumfun - we can do this, we're stronger than we think and they are mere weak, feckless men. I said to my dd that I hoped little ds did not grow up like his father. What does that say? Apart from the fact that I've had too much to drink?

Goodnight xxx

Hi all

Gosh, what a lot of activity, I only went out for the day

Hello vets, youngsters and newbies. Looks like there are so many of us in the same boat now. I will have to find a bigger plot for the dumpling commune.

A good day for me today, filled with adult conversation rather than teenage chat (gosh I almost feel guilty saying that though I shouldn't really)

Dating? Oh I don't know, a bit of adult / adult fun would be good I think. Live with someone? I don't think so, can't imagine that at all. Too early I guess.

LC ur just letting out some of the shock its good to cry ,out with the old and all that ,glad ur going out for a meal could do with something like that myself im either starving or cant eat at all ATM...tomorrow is another day ....

How ya doing happy ,i agree re co habiting i would need at least 3oo acres to be tempted i need my space now x

Agree crying is good actually - I just struggle to do it sometimes!

Yeah about 300 acres would do it . we will live off the land and run marital guidance mini breaks that will be known throughout the world (with associated pampering options provided by Tough)

Going to have to name change again tough does sound like a poorly cooked steak ....away for a think

Wow! Waves to all.........

Took me ages to catch up on thread. Welcome to the newbies & sorry you had the misfortune like the rest of us of marrying twunts.......

Anyone going a begging with 300 acres is prob still living with mammy or a serious twunt so think I'll give that a pass.....

Tea, hope your poor ds will be ok during the night & back to his bubbly self again tomorrow . No joy cleaning after they've been sick though!

I think it's great to use the online dating sites for a bit of fun etc but my advice to the newbies would be to allow yourselves time to grieve & heal before jumping into something new.

Actually Tough now that you mention it.........it does sound a bit like an overcooked steak

Happy, adult fun?? Let me see Do I even remember what that involves..........let me know if you find it