I thought I'd been reading too much Mumsnet!

[Shaz10]

But it turns out I was right, he is having an affair. Claims to be in love with her and not me. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Hi armbow, how's everything going with you?

I actually took all his stuff to his girlfriend's house. I went to his place of work to inform him that I had done it.

oh ...see that now (doh!!!)

things are going worryingly well ! it happened 3 weeks ago yesterday and it was our wedding anniversary last week.

the difference in me now compared to when i first started my thread is incredible, i feel so much freer.

i know he is not coming back and i don't want him back. in fact i am a little worried with how changed i feel, not sure what it all means but i know i feel good at the moment.

I actually apologised for the ranty text this morning, explaining that it was really hard when he was having trouble getting to sleep, especially when I on my own. I don't feel particularly guilty about what I said, but I don't like to take it out on others, no matter what they've done

You're a bigger woman than I, Shaz.

Oh dear. Apparently turning up to his workplace and saying what I did may have set tongues wagging. My spies tell me that everybody there knows...

That's good Shaz because it blows away the fantasy when other people know, turns it into the sleazy little affair it is and shows him up for what he is

Did he tell you this ? Still wants cozy chats with you ?

My friend at his work texted me this morning to let me know. He's round babysitting tonight (I'm off out soon) and I've asked him about work quite a lot and he's not letting on.

Make sure you look absolutely stunning and act mysterious (sp?), sauce for the goose and all that

I'm having trouble when he comes to visit our son. When he leaves, it's like he's abandoning us all over again, and I get really upset. Most (well some ) of the time when he's not here I don't feel so bad.

Does anyone have any experience of this? Is there anything I can do to make it easier on myself?

Suppose I just have to get used to it?

He takes your son out and you pick your son up from wherever he has taken him?

That could work sometimes. We were planning for him to have the tea and bed shift too though. Plus there's only my car with the car seat in it, he borrows work cars and I don't really want him in them.
I think I might just have to grit my teeth and get used to it, at least till he gets a proper place to live (which he's claiming to be doing ).
Thanks for the idea.

i would think that srt of thing would get better in time shaz, i am feeling the same.

make sure you do something ditracting and have something to look forward to when h comes to collect your ds - i try to do this and it does work

shaz I haven't posted here before, but have been lurking. I read your post about getting a man 'the right way' and FWIW I agree with you totally.

However some women just don't bloody care - I know a woman who stole a married man from his wife. And she smirks and acts like she thinks she's clever. Funny thing is this: while she obviously has no remorse, her P's ex wife is obviously having a much better life without her twatbag. The 'OW' is now stuck with said twatbag and most of her family can't stand him.

I guess that was pretty waffly but I guess what I'm saying is - even though she obvously has no morals/conscience she's thoroughly reaping what she sowed now.
Wishing you all the best. Stay strong

Hello Shaz

I still find I hate hearing exh outside the front door when he collects/drops the dcs. Tbh for a long time I used to go out 5 minutes before he was due to avoid itbut it is improving . Of course its harder with such a young dc because it cant just run up the path and open the door with a key !!!

Shaz I do check in on your thread and am in awe of how in control and strong you are , it sounds like you will get through this head held high. Btw I read that article in Grazia yesterday ffs wanted to strangle the writer who as far as I could tell wanted sympathy poor thing no more diamonds and the Ritz

Thank you all for your support. I'm angry today, really angry. Nothing in particular has happened, apart from dreaming I had her in a headlock! Maybe that's set me up for the day.

glad to hear you are doing ok

How are we all this weekend? I finished work today for six weeks, am slightly dreading the long holiday, although I'm sure I'll be fine when I get back into it. After all, I was on my own with my boy during the day for months while he was off doing god knows what with her, so there's no real difference!!!

Oh Shaz.
Thinking of you.

Is the twuntbag going to take him for a longer period of time?
See how he copes living day-to-day with that resposibility.
Has OW's DH said anything to you?

She's single. I'm reasonably ok today and he has got our son for a whole day tomorrow. I'm going to get the car valeted. She was in it once.

Thinking of you Shaz Hopeyou are keeping strong

He's been here most of the day on his weekend day duty. I've been out a most of the time, but have not managed to be civil to him once while I've been in. I've been really horrible to him, calling him a cunt as I left the house, making myself a cuppa and not offering him one (very unusual for me!) but I've stopped caring. I told him to hurry up and find somewhere proper to live because I didn't want him round here any more. He's such an asshole.

Also I barely spoke to him the whole time I was here. Apart from the occasional name calling. Normally I ask him about work and stuff. I just didn't care. He was in my way. I went into town in the morning and came back for a couple of hours. I did loads of housework and then just went out. I went to the local pool, sat in the steam room for ages, drove around for a while, went to my mum's, then picked up a takeaway and went home. And really didn't talk to him at all.

I don't think he liked it. As soon as son was in bed he left. He's never done that before.

I've just realised I'm very very slowly inching towards the ice queen goal. First I had the constant tears, snot and begging, then I had the snide comments with the tears and snot, then I had the snide comments with the anger, then I was able to not even acknowledge his presence when I was in the same room as him (but with a few snide comments!). Soon I will be able to ignore him completely. I will, I will, I will!