I thought I'd been reading too much Mumsnet!

[Shaz10]

But it turns out I was right, he is having an affair. Claims to be in love with her and not me. Shit shit shit shit shit.

Through enterprising research I am fairly confident she is away, and he is not. So I feel a little better about that.

countingto10, that's pretty much what I plan to do.

My dd (she's 23) and I took all XP's bagged-up clothes round to OW and her H. They are family friends so it didn't seem odd. I knew she was the OW but she didn't know I knew so she was still pretending to be my friend. She even offered me a cup of tea and a shoulder to cry on!

It made me feel so powerful and dd and I laughed and laughed as we drove off. It was the highlight of a crap week and I highly recommend it. Go on, you know you want to.

Oh my god, hold me, I did it. I packed him a case, got him round to put son to bed, checked he was still 'deciding' and then gave him the case. Handed over my wedding and engagement ring too.

Hi Shaz,

I'm new here but just read all this thread.

Well done you for taking control and showing him you are not someone who he can mess about.

sending you a (((((hug)))))

The whole thread? You legend.

I feel pretty good. And that unnerves me.

Well done

Enjoy the power

Well done you. Enjoy calling the shots !!!!

Yesssssss!!!! Well done and enjoy.

Well done Shaz. Must feel good to take control again.

Well done Shaz that was really brave!

Good for you Shaz! You feel good because you are taking control, and calling the shots - you need to be mega strong now girl -because you've unnerved him - he thought he could come back, and now he can't he'll probably want to come back more than anything else in the world. Stay strong and stand your ground. Very proud of you!!

If he does want to come back and you want him back, then it will have to be on your terms. As soon as I packed my DH's bags, he wanted to come back and work on our marriage for the whole family's sake. I would not let him back straightaway, he had to go to his mum's for 2/3 months whilst we went to counselling and he showed me that he was making considerable change to every aspect of his life eg how he dealt with the business, his own personal demons etc. It can be done and you can have a better marriage - but you both have to want it.

Good luck and stay strong whatever happens.

yes, countingto10 is right - of course you may want to make a go of things, and that's yours and his decision, and nobody elses - but listen to her advice - he has to prove that he has changed. If you take him back too soon, he will think he's got your permission to just carry on and repeat his appalling behaviour. He has to earn the right to have another go at the relationship, and that could take a long, long time. Just focus on you now, forget about what he wants - think only about what YOU want.

Hey, I missed this last night. Congratulations Shaz. Feels good, doesn't it?

WOW JUST READ ALL THE THREADS

Good for you for packing his bags!, go girl.
The OW has no respect for you or herself.

And your H needs his head testing what a complete prick!

It wont last between them and he will come back with his tail wagging behind him.

Keep us posted on how it all goes and enjoy your time with your little boy. He is your world.

Be strong

Shaz I havent posted on here lately , packed him a case and handed over your rings

Blimey you put me to shame with all my stupid accomodating behaviour to my arse of an exh

I told them I might want the rings back one day, but not yet. Thought it would give him something to remember us, or failing that he can Cash My Gold to pay the alimony.....

Hmm got to be honest the two stunning rings exh bought me are currently being aired on my hands after 5 months in a box and I am too canny and thinking of diy alimony in case of future hardships !!

Seriously Shaz can you really be this together?

I packed all his stuff tonight. All of it. I am planning on putting it on his girlfriend's doorstep but am starting to waver because my parents aren't keen on me doing it. I need some steel girls - help me!

Well, I always think a man and his pants/gadgets/bills should never be parted. You are only doing him a good turn packing and delivering it free of charge.

Well Shaz, just read this thread and wanted to post, can see you getting stronger and really feel for you that you've had so much crap from this guy.

I think you should put ALL his gear on the girlfriends doorstep, don't waver, your not doing anything illegal but you will feel much better for doing it, all his stuff will be out of your sight, to see it every day must be emotionally draining and it'll tell him that this time he needed, to see which one of you he was going to choose (!!!) has now come to an end.

FWIW - I also think that his ego will have been a tad inflated thinking that he has two women wanting him, he knows which he wants at the moment and I stress "at the moment", he is just a cowardly in ending your relationship. I really think you should take control, it is far better for you and your lovely little boy.

Lets face it, you have what he doesn't, your little boy every day, what's he got....NOTHING!

Thanks, that's just what I need!
I also need it to stop raining.

Your parents may not be keen, but it's not their marriage. They should take pride in the fact they've raised a strong, independent woman rather than an obedient clone of themselves.

I think they're secretly pleased, they just don't want to approve of it in case I do anything slightly bonkers.

Why wait till it stops raining?