I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

I have never really been to these sorts of doos I die inside at the thought

infact have a wedding reception tomorrow and am feeling crappy and anxious about it and may well over drink to compensate!! LOL

rum this time please!

Here y'go I keep bacardi in my handbag for emergencies

Mumoftrio.. I so want to say something constructively helpful but am at a loss as to what it could be. But will try.

Had a look through this thread so now know a little of your story. I am and at what you've had to deal with. And even more that you had no support from the village. But.. I think you're much stronger than you think you are and clearly an incredible mum and your dc are so lucky to have you. Just look at what you've achieved.

Hang on dd2 awake will be back

aw thanks comedy that was sweet

I have decided to move ds school, have lost total faith in his old school / its management and he has learning needs too and I really need a school thats good iykwim.

I guess I did the right thing but at a great price. would still do it again though!! I am sometimes a stickler for justice. but then I fret, I am an odd creature

ps, cheers for the booze ha ha!!!

I'm liking COE

She's right you know Trio, you are stronger than you think. It takes a lot of courage to be a whistle blower. It's natural to fret about it afterwards. And you started this thread and admitted to all about how you inwardly felt - I couldn't have done it myself as I would have feared only getting posts that said, in summary: Nope. You're just weird. Think of all those MNs who have been able to admit their insecurities and felt better as a result.

Now I feel really cheesy

Are the couple whose wedding reception it is really nice? I guess you'll know some of the other people there? Plus there will be alcohol and, more importantly, cake? You could tell yourself that you need only stay for a relatively short period of time, like an hour, and you can leave then if you still want to. (I had to think this to make myself go to a birthday party that I felt really anxious about)

Well I think it's normal to fret, you have feelings. I'm sure it will all work out brilliantly, don't look back.

I do hope you enjoy tomorrow night, try and relax! Here's a couple of miniature gordons for the journey

I'm off on holiday tomorrow, will come and find you all when back

Ooh, have I missed all the sweets and Pimms?
< Getting this thread back into active convos >

MOT, I'm sure I thought , when reading of your situation, that you might be better off making a clean break; but I'm sorry you've had this stress.

Thanks for the party, though.

I agree with the general consensus re. parties not being A Good Thing; I too had a big do for DS1's first b'day, and felt dreadful after as realised I'd spent the whole time hiding in the kitchen seeing to the canapes.
For DD's first I just had my mother and DH's sister and family, but even that had its own stresses and strains.
When it came to DS2 I hauled in the next door neighbour's kids just so I could have a photo of him with a birthday cake at a party .
God, that looks so awful written down.

< Realises too much has been said >
< Feigns interest in a conveniently-placed houseplant >

< Realises has Said The Wrong Thing which Could Cause Offence >

Of course, when I say I struggle with parties, I don't mean this one - this is fabulous!

< False laugh doesn't disguise realisation she's just offended the hostess >

Whatswrong, you could feign interest in this copy of Ideal Home. It's full of pictures of pristine houses owned by Carole with her own interior design company, so the house is full of her stuff rather than dirty washing and Lego everywhere. See, "We were recommended a super architect for the work," laughs Carole, "so it only cost us £250,000 over budget". Boak boak.

I only had three actual children at DS's party, two cousins and the 9mo girl-next-door (to my mum!). I had hoped that this year there would be some toddlers to add to the mix but I have failed him in that department too.

Well hopefully this year it won't rain and we can have fun out in the garden. I might even buy some bunting...

Lagging several hours behind the conversations as usual, I realize that I am actually good at something! I can use chopsticks!

Chinese hosts here would usually give the option of forks to people not used to using them; also, they tend to eat rice with flat-bottomed spoons (not me, I don't like the feel of them in my mouth, for some reason). Think your hosts would have to step up and take the blame for any embarrassment.

mumoftrio, I hope that the move to the new school is a new start for you. Everyone knows you were right, including the principal and her cronies.

LaserWidow if your little one is only a toddler, the less fuss the better for the party. Throw the catalogue away, it's to do with making money, not children having fun

I have an old-fashioned party book which states that the ideal number of guests at a child's party is the number of the child's age; I wouldn't worry too much about mustering up extras for the sake of it.

< flicks through IH >
< eyes clutter-strewn room dining table - feels inadequate >

aw thanks ladies...

I just love love love coming on this thread I love the banter / reassurance and understanding really. and I love the fact youre all so chilled / crazy and approachable!!!

Did you realise I am intending when this thread is full if its ok to make a second thread called - social inadaquetes the sequel? -would you be uo for that?

Yes yes where do I sign?

This thread is a bit of an antidote to those ones with the same people posting all the time, because I find them a bit clique-y (and obviously am not part of that clique). This thread's welcoming to all, no matter how clumsy you feel you are, physically or mentally. Although I still feel my posts are cringeworthy and/or dull, nobody has been anything other than nice to me and I really appreciate that.

Glad to see you'd start another mumoftrio, I would probably feel bereft once this was full if nobody made another.

But SYTL, I really am tempted by the bunting... fabric bunting is quite expensive from those posh catalogues with the thick paper pages (in this house these are known as "recycling" - could maybe afford their clobber but not inclined to) - this one is thin glossy pages and quite reasonable tbh, cheaper than Clinton's anyway. I agree with Whatswrong's party book on numbers - was just feeling my failure at making friends at the toddler group really. I'm sure in a few years' time DS will have made his own little friends for himself anyway.

Loving

Ours is exactly the same but has the incrongruous touch of a vase of roses in the middle, surrounded by utter shoite and smears of tomato sauce where the plastic tablecover is visible

LaserWidow don't worry about not making friends at the Toddler Group. I have been in many situations where I don't fit in but I have to admit that in most cases we have nothing in common and that's why I can't think of things to say to them. And nobody says that you have to have a party for your toddler that includes children of the same age; your son will probably enjoy his party more with a couple of older children (and the bunting sounds like fun).

Well, it's 11 pm over here. Pray join me in a glass of wine before I go to bed!

HI all

xx

Pass me the wine ladies, pass me the wine

ps, welcome seenyertoeslately sadly, I havnae seen my toes for some time!!! eek

Hello again, here's a bucket of wine. Hope that will do?

I have found that "Are You Emotionally Stunted" Quiz that I did all those years ago so link is here. I did it again out of curiosity and did better than in 2005. Maybe I have matured . That always reminds me of cheese...

I must stop doing that kind of thing! I once absent-mindedly dusted MIL's mantelpiece - the horror! She was quite nice about it, pointing out the log-burner makes a lot of dust every day, but she has seen this house so is under no illusions about my housekeeping

ha ha ha my house is so full of crap things I cant dust

the link doesnt work for some reason...

wedding was fun in a self conscious way

enjoyed dh company we are going through a horrendous lot of challenges but united in tackling at the mo which feels nice

I may say diff next week though as he is out all the time and fishing and I am left with the 3 little ones and already feeling wobbly !!

Oooh you are Fishing Widow.... you will need a top up then. As long as you feel comfortable saying "Oi DH! We need to pull together on this one" etc. (As a social weakling I'm never sure how much info to ask for, so what I usually end up saying is: I might not ask but I am always interested.)

You're right about the link, most peculiar but DH is looking at sorting it now - he's useful for some things... it's in iVillage quizzes quiz.ivillage.com/health/tests/eqtest2.htm That should work, DH has tested it already... would really like to know what you get (hint hint)

Shall tackle the ironing tomorrow whilst the tot sleeps at lunchtime. No, really I will

Thanks for that link, LW; I scored 40% - failed.
< knob >

I don't think it said anywhere what the pass mark was, though, so I don't know the full extent of my knobboidness!

I suppose there must be some way of working on this; maybe that book on emotional intelligence that was mentioned might be worth a punt.

It's funny, this has reminded me of a feeling I had in my early 30s (about 12/15 years ago), of wishing I could somehow figure out a normal way of being.
I remember trying to put this into words to a friend and she looked at me as if I was mad, so I shut up.

But I do think a guide for how to 'be' would be a great boon for a klutz like me.

tricky quiz I didnt know what to answer for quite a few!!

I got 50%

You scored 50% correct!
Your score falls in the average EQ range.

so there I have it, I can finally rest easy that I have a normal EQ range ha ha

hows everyone today?

fancy a cuppy and some animal biscuits

Ooh is 40% failed.

I dont think 40% is that diff to 50% tbh

so lets take the average of both our scores and be 45's and proud

I got 40% too whatswrong and it was rated as average. (Was definitely less than that years ago) So I would say you were average too and not failed. And absolutely not a knob!

Are these those M&S all butter animal biscuits? Very nice and good dipped in tea

Can I have a pom pom too, cos my score improved over 5 years?

!!!

hey we can have our own cheerleading socially awkward squad

Give me an S

give me a O

give me a C.....

ha ha ha

I did a high kick too high, ow ow ow

Nooooooooooooooo!