I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

received gladly thanks

thats the thing, not really as everyone wants to keep their heads down if its me getting talked about its not them

The thing is the investigation SHOWED loads of bad practise - I was driven to complain, I didnt want to I wanted the head to just say she would make sure it wouldnt happen again - I really thought a child would / could be killed

I do feel kind of stuffed though round here now

BUT YOU ARE! You may not feel it or believe it but the reality is that you didn't just let this go but made a complaint and ensured that this hopefully doesn't ever happen again to some other poor child!

But of course I understand how tough this is, as one social phobic to another . And totally understand that you can't prove the heads behaviour.

So if you can't change hers and other peoples beliefs, could you not try a bit of CBT here? Writing down your predictions and rating your fears before drop off at school, then writing down the reality once you get home? Questioning your critical thoughts? Using us as a sounding board?

and my social awkwardness has taken a massive nose dive as I now feel really insecure round here and cynically watched/criticised almost for the fun of it

It actually feels like this -
www.parentdish.co.uk/2009/09/08/playground-politics-mums-who-bully/

there was a great article in the NO1 MAGAZINE about mums bullying mums did you see it?

I feel like the 8 years I have had living here have gone down the pan and I cant stop my whirling mind it really has taken its toll on me - wish I were stronger and didnt care

ps, I dont know CBT

This is awful for you.

I bet there are parents who agree with you and the action you had to take, but aren't brave enough to step forward and say so. Maybe they will grow some backbone and stand up for you. (Conscious of outstanding hypocrisy as I'm cowardly about defending people too )

Don't know CBT either, I did Google it when Whatswrong mentioned it several pages back, but not really any the wiser. Hopefully hubbabubba can enlighten further.

Meant to ask, how is DS doing now? Has the whole incident coloured school life negatively for him?

can i join the socially awkward society? please?

sorry you've had such a rotten time mumoftrio re:school issues, given the way things have panned out, I think your only choice is to just hold up your head high and remind yourself that you are in the right, and that other people unfortunately have less integrity and prefer to keep schtum. like that quote about how for evil to triumph good people just need to do nothing?

how happy were you and DS with the school apart from this btw?

In terms of CBT- I guess in terms of social anxiety, it would work on stopping catastrophic thinking and/or reality testing - e.g. someone you know a bit doesn't talk to you when you say hello - you think OMG, they must really hate me, what have I done, do I look so awful they don't want to be seen talking to me - and then you reason yourself out of it - thinking - maybe they are crap at recognising faces and didn't recognise me, maybe they didn't hear etc.

btw hello and welcome suntangirl!

Hello - I lost track of this thread for a bit. Am off to a party this afternoon. I do know most of the parents there, am setting myself a target of talking to at least 3 different people. And not just sitting there on my own wishing I had earplugs.

Hi - I haven't been around much lately but had to respond to MumofTrio's post.

You absolutely have done the right thing and can hold your head high. As to how to proceed from here, I'd suggest posting in Education for advice from experienced MNers who might not see your problem here.

So many people have had experience of these little Hitler heads who go unchallenged from one outrageous case of negligence or incompetence to another - I'm sure you'll get helpful advice.

As to the social aspects, I know what you mean about this whole thing being difficult - you've put your head above the parapet in a way you'd really rather not have, but its to your credit and everyone's benefit that you have, so don't let anyone make you feel bad about yourself.

In fact, you'll probably find, if you take the complaint about the head further, a lot of like-minded souls will come out of the woodwork who otherwise would never have challenged the status quo - there's bound to be more people with evidence against her if it's been this bad for a long time.

I appreciate this is all easy for me to say, and wouldn't blame you if you just crept quietly away, but you'll be so proud of yourself if you see this through.

Thanks guys

Appreciated the space to vent xx

What it has taught me is that I CAN do the right thing

What it has also shown me is that I cannot handle being talked about, bitched about and ridiculed - wlthough to be fair I am still here so maybe I am stronger than I think

sorry i haven't been here for a while - i got behind with reading the thread and then didn't have time to read the whole thing and post.

mumoftrio - that's relly shocking.
obviously it's hard to rise above it now, but you have to try to get on with your life as normal.

are you allowed to talk about the incident with other mums? maybe if they made a snide comment you oculd tell them the facts. (maybe write it down so that you don't have to worry about thinking how to word it off the cuff)
or join the PTFA? that quite often helps.

and you can handle being talked about, bitched about and ridiculed. you don't have to like it, but you are strong enough to handle it.
you just have to remember that the villagers are not in control of you, and that they are miniscule in your life. they mean nothing.

thanks nickelbabe thats good sound advice. xxx

The problem is I am ULTRA sensitive prone to ingesting criticism and letting it slowly strangle me - anyone else like this?

mumoftrio, yep - I am also like this. Drive myself mad on a regular basis in this way.

But... yeah. I am well socially awkward In fact, so much that it's just funny now, I roll my eyes at myself and just avoid most social situations if I find them too awkward, I know it will be hellish so tend not to bother much.
But anyway, mumoftrio I just wanted to say I read your post earlier in the thread and you are TOTALLY in the right, people have no right to ignore you or treat you badly because of that one incident and the steps you subsequently took. I would have done exactly the same. So try not to let it bother you, though I know that's next to impossible. If people want to be pathetic, petty and village-minded, then that's their call.

thanks cheerfulV

I apprecite the reassurance I just needed some I guess that I had done the right thing!

cooooooooooeee

are you all out partying like wild things

mumoftrio I have just read your post re the school incident and I do feel so sorry for you. Like you, I didn't like hanging around in the schoolyard because I didn't feel I belonged (and quite honestly, I didn't want to). I am most upset at how you are being treated after reporting the serious negligence and, being hopelessly socially challenged myself, know I would feel exactly the same as you do.

I just wanted to add my voice - you definitely did the right thing and you have made the school safer for all the children. Unfortunately, people do not like to be find at fault and I am afraid that this head teacher will never appreciate what you have achieved; but I hope that in time other parents will get to know the truth and acknowledge that you are a STAR. (And also because you started this thread which is great for timid folks like me).

mumoftrio you should be proud of yourself - although I understand how awful you must feel considering what happened.
I had CBT re social anxiety and it was fab. Got referred through my GP.

aw thanks guys

I am curious about CBT , hmm,,, will maybe look into it!

I am unsure whether to move ds school as so unhappy and to think he may bear the brunt cos of me is tricky and whats worse he has some learning needs and I NEED them to be on hand which I suspect they may not be due to my getting them in trouble.

Tricky

coeeee

are you all at a party with out me paranoia there for good effect

No mumoftrio I'm just about to start work. Would also like to know about CBT.

ello ello whats going on here then

I keep wondering if this thread has been abandoned and now it's all alone and miserable

I wish I could stop eating these jelly babies, technically DH has a share but I can't stop scoffing!

How is everyone?

not bad thanks

very glad its the school hols and no need to do the social thang

ps, pass me a jb please!