I dont suppose any of you would like to join the socially awkward society I am going to start?

[MumofTrioTrioIwanaTrioIwant1NW]

free membership Or is it just me?

Am annoyed at myself for being socially awkward (several instances today in company),

I do try thats the annoying thing I just dont seem to be able to be anything else! pah!

Please come cheer me up somehow

Think I've stunned it first though - it's an easy target now

RL ironing once again not done. Have to be tomorrow night now

sorry stunning the thread didnt work

can you do my ironing too?

I was a proper idiot at toddlers today!! Blabbering away, oh dear.....will I ever learn

hello ladies, it seems awfully quiet in here . It's having a script or the confidence of having 100% knowledge in your head that helps, doesn't it? some people can blag quite happily but I never could.

I do wish I had a bit of smooth finesse sometimes - I feel I have to work twice as hard to be liked half as much

oh my goodness that epitomises it for me too!!!

I do wish I had a bit of smooth finesse sometimes - I feel I have to work twice as hard to be liked half as much

May I sneak in quietly?

I had a huge panic attack on Sunday due to a soft play party DS had been invited to, because I knew I'd be expected to stay and chat.

I avoid the park after school - because I dread having to chat to the other mums. I get it into my head they dislike me but end up overwhelmed with guilt that I'm denying my children opportunities. It's not so bad for my DDs as they are old enough to visit the park without me, but I feel sad for DS (4) as I make excuse after excuse not to socialise with other mums

I never used to be like this - in fact, I was probably the polar opposite when I was at school; quite the social butterfly.

Sorry if I've crashed the thread!

I feel a right tit now.

sorry you felt like a tit, the thread does go v. quiet sometimes, I guess it's sort of inevitable that a bunch of shy socially awkward people don't hang around chatting even on here

has anything happened to make you less socially confident, flying fig? is it the whole motherhood/invisibility thing?

No I think it was seeing it all written down in black and white that made me feel like a tit!

I'm not sure when it started - I tend to over analyse everything I've said in conversations with people and worry about it for ages afterwards. I take myself far too seriously!

II always used to be Ok ( not great) but usually fine with friends if a bit awkward with new people at first.

Since we have moved and ds has started school I am awful. Mostly because Ds is so badly behaved at school and I can't quite make out who is judging me and who isn't. I sort of know the ones who aren't happy for ds to be too friendly to their child so I hang back a bit. Unfortunately Ds is quite keen on at least one of their children.!

I used to have quite a few friends but since moving 18 months ago have pretty much no-one here. I hate it

Bumbling that sounds pants, feel for you

you have virtual friends in this wee group

I wanna ask questions but I'm scared I will scare people off again

So I won't but it isn't ever that I'm not interested or don't care. Just rubbish at talking naturally to people. Would say to FlyingFig though that every single post I've ever typed has made me feel a complete tosser. It is somehow worse in black & white. And I edit out the "humorous" bits because I worry it will just look stupid.

Mumoftrio, can't do your ironing I'm afraid - I really know suspect mine won't get done until DH is back going out to work and the needed-for-the-morning deadline works its usual magic.

sorry you've had such a rotten time since moving, bumbling. I really do sympathise - I have similar difficulties at school etc, as my DS has mild SN, which seemed quite severe when he was younger (language/communication related), so that kind of alienated me from mums of typically developing kids.

laser - I'm OK with posts on here, but I do tend to wince when reading back old e-mails/letters!

afternoon sweet ladies

I have a really rather long vent but I fear I would monopolise the whole thread as its very long and very complicated.......... think I just need some tlc from those that understand

Go on and tell all if it helps, mumoftrio - you know we won't stare at you then roll our eyes at each other

Lots of tlc this way! Come share Mumoftrio, you know we can help with our combined knowledge and social expertise!

Its long...........I mean LONG

really? want me to share

A problem shared is a problem halved and all that... Of course we do, you know you'll feel better!

ok well here goes....

Just been to bar-b-q with neighbours, all very nice and that. Hardly said any thing, wanted to get away as I need to get to bed soon as suffer insomnia and need to get up in the morning and have a busy day.
Had to get up and leave am sure every one thinks I am a freak, said bye to hostess who didn't even smile at me just said bye.
Fucking hell why does every thing have to be so bloody difficult, I try and be socialble and go to these things cos I don't want to be seen as stuck up and not interested but why do I bother?
Just venting this into the ether, have to go to bed now but thanks for reading x

Right, well I live in a VERY small town.

The school is tiny.

My dc have attended the school nursery and stil do. I am quiet on the fringes but well known and no real probs here., a

Ds started school last Augfter 2 years at the brill school nursery (even went in on request to give commendation to inspectors!)

BUT in Nov when he was still 5 there was an incident which involved him being left behind in the school when the whole school vacated for 15 mins he was distraught and was walked to me by his class teacher at home time saying oh an emotional day - nothing said about what had happened. He was a state. I was in shock but didnt say anything was too shocked.

He immed told me and was hysterical - it happened between 12.15 - 12.30 - appara he was left while the main school door was open to the main road so anyone could have taken him or him get hurt/killed on the main road

Anyway it continues on....we had to ask the school the next day what had happened and they were like he hid - its his fault blah blah They didnt think to tell us blah blah. Very horrid to us. we were in shock and worried could happen again as the small school has lots of sloppy ways - not head counting properly, leaving doors open etc - we had never said anything negative EVER before this time.

The truth is he is a happy wee soul but lost lots of confidence, the school was understaffed that day (terribly) and he was left behind for some reason. If the school had just said sorry and assured us it would have been totally fine but they didnt and blamed him

The school wouldnt look into it, blaming him so we went to the council, well me (took everything in me to do it!!!) and an external complaints officer came in and dealt with it - the whole school is getting new health and safety measures and new doors etc.

however the head teacher and the staff and my ds teacher are now fuming and on a witch hunt, making my life locally difficult as they were raging that someone dared take them on about an issue when round here people never rock the boat for they know the consequences.... I am basically being ostracised when people dont know the story as I didnt blab it around , not like that.

My name is mud and also people who I have known and liked for years and liked me nolonger talk to me for fear of their own reprisal

Ds didnt get invited to a whole class party either cos of it.

The complaints officer unanamously took the school to task and now the school is SAFE for kids inc my own but I am def paying the personal price and I guess i didnt realise how much it would affect me in myself.

I am glad I did it but hearing crap like I complained and said my son was locked in a cupboard is ridiculous.

I have changed because of this and my whole world feels rocked.

Did that even make sense

I did the right thing - I could tell you all the details (if you want!) - but the back lash is formidable and the rumours terrible when we are actually quiet people who dont want hassle but had a genuine concern that the council incidentally agreed with when an extrenal investgiator came in!

topsi I HEAR YOU cant help but send you a sympathetic hug!

The problem is about 10 mums are best friends with the head teacher / going on summer hols with her etc and as she told them HER VERSION of my complaint (and not the fact we won no doubt!!!) then they are making my life difficult , not her as such so its very clever

The complaints guy said I can help fix the problems but not her unprofessionaly behaviour - consider a formal complaint against the headt but by then i was exhausted with everything in me

what should I do ladies, as I am so upset about it all

Wow, what a formidable lady you are mumoftrio! Can you not see what you've achieved here? You know that you've done exactly the right thing!

Their care of your son was deeply neglectful and of course highly dangerous and to then imply that it was your sons fault is unbelievable! You've now ensured the safety of all the children attending the school and should be commended.

As hard as it is, I think that you've got to keep reminding yourself of these facts, you are in the right and musn't let the social phobia/low self-esteem cloud your judgement here no matter how difficult things are at present.

You've already shown yourself to be incredibly strong and personally I now think that you've got to follow through and make a complaint about the heads behaviour as terrifying as I know that seems!

but thats the thing I am not strong

the ostracizing me is literally strangling me bit by bit

I am considering moving ds school as I cant stand the heat basically...

also I cant prove the heads behaviour and I dont think its so clear cut as the negligence re the school health and safety etc

I do wonder cos I am mousy if thats why the other mums are believing hthe p'd off head teacher and not me

I feel like publishing the flipping findings and putting them on the school board / local notice board

Hmm

I am joking but I am very far out of my comfort zone and now people think I ma all sorts of things when I am not - thats what I am finding hard

Mumoftrio

So sorry for you all and
I hate it when people listen to rumours and base their opinions on what can only be half a story at the most. How would they feel if it had been their child left at personal risk and being so thoroughly distressed?

It beggars belief that they could lay the blame at a 5 year old's door and then have the face to get angry at the parents who are trying to safeguard their children (like they should be doing!) Even if hypothetically your DS had hidden in a cupboard - so bloody what! He's only five and they are responsible for his safety in school!

Is there anyone who will listen to your side and can fill in the rest of the parents? Perhaps at the nursery? You did commend them after all. I know there's no guarantee that everyone will come round though, some people are just stinkers stubborn. I guess the teachers are annoyed because their competence was called into question but I can't relate to these people enough to work out a decent strategy, sorry.