Sex before marriage

[toonosy]

This is really nosy...but was wondering if anyone actually waits until they are married before having sex these days?

Me and DH waited, we were together almost 6 years before we married. Our decision was for religious reasons, however I can't bring myself to ask my RL friends their opinions on this!

Would love to hear what everyone thinks, was going to put this in Religion but thought I'd get more responses here.

I am liking your comment about St Paul.

Is your DH2B Mormon, LRD?

Hell no!

He's Christian, he's Russian Orthodox. So it is partly culture, partly religion I think.

Btw thanks about St Paul

I have always found him v. hard to deal with as a medievalist writing about people who sometimes take him very literally.

No but DH was no 2 and no 1 only got it twice. Been married 12 years and only 2 partners.

I agree with LRD about St Paul too. Although like many people I did opt for I Cor 13 at my wedding.

Do you think St Paul intended to be taken metaphorically then, LRD?

I've no idea Elastic. I suspect he was just a rather a mysogynist, but I guess that's to do with being a product of his times.

DP's religion would say that you don't just look at St. Paul, you also consider the accumulated wisdom of the Church Fathers, up to the present day, so they don't seem so bothered about proof-texting the Bible.

Personally, I think the most important thing is to make sure that everyone grows up knowing that sex should be lovely and fun and safe, and shouldn't feel either forced into it, or ashamed of it. Anything other than that is really just icing on the cake, isn't it? To be fair I do think St. Paul was writing to a group of rather ardent recent converts who all wanted to be teacher's pet, rather than to a normal spectrum of society.

One could balance it against the medieval version of the Mary Magdalen story, in which Mary is a prostitute who enjoys herself very much until she falls in love with Jesus - and Jesus forgives her and shows her how to become a great teacher herself. It's not our modern idea of sex being wonderful, but nor is it that Victorian idea that enjoying sex is the worst crime ever.

(Sorry, yakking on - I have a paper to write and it's going badly!)

Hmm. I find this topic quite interesting. Would anyone see the worth in a couple waiting if one already had children (ie hadn't waited, although was a divorcee) and the other had waited? I don't entirely see the point myself, and I'm thinking along the lines of others, that after a few disastrous experiences, a test drive makes sense.

Also, those saying about doing 'everything but' beforehand, what about backtracking? Starting off with some heavy pettig/MM/etc, but then deciding it's serious and stopping? Any value in that?

we didnt but he is the only person I have ever had sex with my cousin did and on there wedding night they left the wedding reception at half eight and went straight to bed!caused much hilarity (very immature I know!)

Don't see what's so embarrassing about not having had lots of sexual partners Amummyinwaiting. Surely it would be a lot more blush-worthy to admit to being a bit of a slapper, or on the game, or an incorrigible flirt, though any of these might be quite fun if that's the sort of thing you like.

Thanks elasticwoman, just sometimes feel like I sound a bit....boring (not that I bandy info about about s.life) and in the past have had people look down on me for it although was and is my choice!

They are just jealous Amum.

I love the idea of saving yourself for the one man that you want to marry but I think that sex can be a special thing between 2 people who aren't married. When I met my partner he wanted to do it on the same night we met but I wanted to wait until I'd got to know him, was comfortable & trusted him so we ended up waiting 4 months. WELL worth the wait & we're not married, still together & with a baby on the way. My friend said once, "what if you wait all that time to have sex & then you marry a guy & he's crap in the sack? Then you're stuck with him!"
Hahaha! I do believe that love is enough to conquer a lot of things but I also believe that good sex enriches a relationship all the more. I know couples who love their men but aren't satisfied in the bedroom anymore & although it seems daft, it becomes a relationship ruiner.