what does this text mean?

[teenagecrush]

following a tread in chat which is now quite long ( omg ive fallen in love with somone ive never met)

ill sum up
we met, it went really well. Heard from him twice on the sat
sun he was online but ignored me
mon we chatted online on webcam for a few hours and he said he would email me something tue and we would talk about it.

email never arrived and ive not seen him onine since, though i know he is online ( can see him posting on a forum)

I text him a general hi message to which he didnt respond ( to be fair he is terrible at replying to texts, usually doesnt for at least hours if not days, not just with me, you can see from his facebook people always asking him to respond!) then sent another text later sort of asking what was going on.

then got- miss insecure

what is that meant to mean? that i should chill out and all is ok?????

or that he is a knob?

no, BOF, haven't checked my mail for a couple of days

did you try to warn me away from this particular fuck-up ?

Is it Kerry Katona and Peter Andre??????

Seriously OP, you are asking for trouble. Hope it's not too painful.

No. I've not bothered with this one. The omg omg stuff looked a bit daft.

'i know. im mid 30's with a long marriage behind me a mortgage and a responsible job.
i shop in waitrose and have cath kidson stuff in the kitchen.
i m not some silly young child'.

Oh perhaps not then.

Same bloke though, probably, having clocked the username.

shine

Getting into the role, Shiney- that's what people do when they are, like, totally in love, innit?

Ohhhhh, there's a lawyer? Yup, same bloke. There are always legal references

"i shop in waitrose and have cath kidson stuff in the kitchen."

Oh, thank the good Lord: it's a wind-up.

I was getting worried for a bit, back there.

fuck-ups galore !!

Play nicely girl's.

Also (having re-read the thread, as I have nothing better to do); as a general rule of thumb, a man's attractiveness is in inverse proportion to the amount of time he spends in a darkened room conversing with strangers by the dim light of a webcam.

So what with all the references to his thrilling handsomeness: yes, it must be a wind-up.

shiney,you just can't help yourself can you

It means get a friggin' grip of yourself girl.

Yes, let's start with the woman in the mirror

Infact it must be a wind up, i have the most Handsome man in the world!!so it must all fake.

Well done shineon.

I blame it on the boogie.

It means hes an arsehole and you should stay away from him, as you were told previously on your very first thread.
If you are attracted to this prick who does arseholey things re his lawyer you need serious help.
I agree he sounds like a narcisistic arsehole and your way out of your depth already. All your questions can be answered by googling narcissm .
Youve already said he doesnt behave like a normal person, thats because hes not , and youll get sucked in until you dont even know who you are anymore.
It was plainly obvious from your very first post.
Get away, quickly, and if you refuse to at least educate yourself so you know exactly who your dealing with.