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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

what does this text mean?

136 replies

teenagecrush · 08/04/2010 07:48

following a tread in chat which is now quite long ( omg ive fallen in love with somone ive never met)

ill sum up
we met, it went really well. Heard from him twice on the sat
sun he was online but ignored me
mon we chatted online on webcam for a few hours and he said he would email me something tue and we would talk about it.

email never arrived and ive not seen him onine since, though i know he is online ( can see him posting on a forum)

I text him a general hi message to which he didnt respond ( to be fair he is terrible at replying to texts, usually doesnt for at least hours if not days, not just with me, you can see from his facebook people always asking him to respond!) then sent another text later sort of asking what was going on.

then got- miss insecure

what is that meant to mean? that i should chill out and all is ok?????

or that he is a knob?

OP posts:

Fliight · 08/04/2010 10:34

Frankly it sounds as though he has some kind of personality disorder, from that post - he is either a narcissist or has some other kind of megalomania.

It's very, very worrying.

Sorry pet. You are being used.

pumphreydidit · 08/04/2010 10:35

Arrogant knob. Two words about that sentence that would worry me.
You are worthy of so much better.

Remotew · 08/04/2010 10:37

Hmm, you have met him once and it involved phoning his lawyer to tell a PC off. He sounds like a tit, sorry. Who/What is he btw?

MostActive · 08/04/2010 10:38

you almost seem proud that he is more arrogant than SC, not my bag but each to their own. FWIW his behaviour with the policeman was just rude and yes,arrogant and demonstrates his lack of civility. Be areful teencrush, it seems amusing now but just bear this incident in mind for the future.

nannynobnobs · 08/04/2010 10:38

If I got the reply 'Miss insecure' after he had been online and ignored me, I'd text back with 'Oh well, it's been fun, see you around' or similar flippant fuck-you. Can not be doing with head games and being jerked around. Not one bit!

Fliight · 08/04/2010 10:41

...and likely has many other interested women on the go

I'm really sorry.

Men like this enjoy power and that means power OVER you, it's not for your benefit...if it were, he would have apologised and said 'Oh, sorry I didn't text sooner, don't worry' or something.

He is playing HUGE games with you and you are allowing him to do so

you need to get angry, now
don't stand for a second more of it

You don't let him see you are angry because he will be counting on that at some point. It's part of the game.

You get to ditch him if you act quickly.

Jeez I would be running as fast as possible and changing my contact details if someone behaved like that.

sunshiney · 08/04/2010 10:44

i just said he sounds like a tit, and from the anecdote about calling his lawyer he sounds even more so now.

you however sound beyond help.

don't want to be rude but how many people have to tell you perhaps playing it a little bit cool would get him interested again? although why anyone would want the aforementioned tit hanging around i don't know.

l39 · 08/04/2010 10:44

Oh dear.

Teenagecrush if you were my daughter I would be praying the relationship didn't last. I wouldn't want any of my girls mixed up with someone who says 'Do you know who I am?' and baits policemen. Sounds apalling.

What does your own mum think?

Headbanger · 08/04/2010 10:51

I'm awful sorry lass, but if you only knew how many of my pals get through dozens of miserable relationships, because tittery and nobbishness like this is attractive to them.

In a way, it's entirely your business if you find arrogant, manipulative men attractive. Each to their own. But you'll either have to put up with the consequences or not complain about them when they inevitably come...

(Hope that didn't sound too desperately harsh -only I find this 'I'm attracted to bastards; but God, apparently they're not very nice/affectionate/steadfast to me' thing HUGELY exasperating).

glastocat · 08/04/2010 10:52

He sounds like a massive bell end. If he'd pulled that stunt with the police man in front of me I would have laughed and run away very quickly.

Original poster

teenagecrush · 08/04/2010 10:52

he doesnt bait policemen. he was merely stating his rights.

he isnt a tit.

i shall play it cool for a few days. and i am WILLINGLY participating in his game. I am planning my own revenge. I know its all a game. its fun.

Its not forever, i dont see myself with this man forever and ever. I do absoultley love him. for some warped reasons. im not in love with him. and i know this is just one of those weird once in a lifetime odd experiences that probably change everything. and that it will end it tears but that i wont ever regrett

OP posts:

crumpette · 08/04/2010 10:56

Has Ashley Cole been sexting again? I think OP it's OK to have a bit of fun as long as you do realise he is a nob of the highest order and don't get emotionally hurt by it. I haven't read your other thread so I'm sorry if my wires are crossed but if you actually have fallen for this guy then you need to do a reality check, and just remember that he is probably wanting to keep you on the boil while he has cake and eats it all over the place. There's nothing wrong with that per se but please don't regard him as proper relationship material

Remotew · 08/04/2010 10:58

Think I39 is mistaking you for an actual teenager because you are acting like one.

You have only met him once in RL so please take a reality check. No-one is suggesting you play any games with him, just don't play his game anymore. Stop contacting him now and see what happens. You will have your answer by this time next week.

crumpette · 08/04/2010 10:58

sorry OP x-posted, I take ages to type with baby on lap. It will end in tears, I think, so just regard it as a bit of fun and please please try to keep your emotions well out of it

Headbanger · 08/04/2010 10:59

"im not in love with him. and i know this is just one of those weird once in a lifetime odd experiences that probably change everything. and that it will end it tears but that i wont ever regrett"

Well, fine. But if you know you're letting yourself in for misery, you'll have to not complain about it. Or bore your friends to tears asking what his texts mean. That would be like ordering a vindaloo and complaining when you get the shits.

sunshiney · 08/04/2010 11:06

OP i just looked at your other thread, maybe i was harsh in my comments. i didn't realise how hung up you are about this all, you are taking it very seriously.

But i do stand by my opinion that he doesn't sound like great relationship material.

I have got a theory that the reason you are resisting cutting contact with him is that deep down you know that if you do, you probably won't hear from him again.

sunshiney · 08/04/2010 11:08

cutting contact with him is win-win.

either you will make him very keen on you again. (is this a good idea, he shouldn't be manipulating you)

or, he will disappear and good riddance as he clearly wasn't worth the effort.

said · 08/04/2010 11:10

Oh no. I was so willing this relationship to be happy and you both meet and it all be ok. But the lawyer stunt with teh policeman is dreadful. How can you seriously think that's attractive in someone? I think you are so blinded by what you want to happen that you are refusing to see what he's actually like. I just don't believe that you really like this arrogance stuff. If he really liked and respected you he wouldn't have sent that text. Why send that text except to wind you up. Don't like him. Sorry. I wanted to for you but I don't.

VirtualConer · 08/04/2010 11:11

what does he do? or who is he that he thinks hes so fab? jesus? No, seriously thats a real question.

Original poster

teenagecrush · 08/04/2010 11:15

oh i would hear from him again.

to sum up quickly we have been speaking for about 7 months now. During that time he has cut contact as have i. Blocked each other from msn. Ive seen other people. he has seen one girl for a few dates. I think we have cut contact about 4 times. longest was for a month and that was not good. he cut contact that time. i actually got to thinking it was over after about week 3. but then i did text him. he emailed me a few days later.
the other times i have cut contact and he has always been the first to get in conact with me.

i dont know. i do know that i could never totally delete him from my msn/phone/facebook. i know that he finds it impossible to do the same.

i know its not good relationship material. i know we are both in deeper than we think ( he does not even try to deny how things are and in actual fact he is a lot more forthcoming with talking about feelings and such like) but it feels like its sort of got a life of its own and it just needs to play out.

and i know im going to end up really hurt. I knew this 7 months ago.( though i had no idea we would be at where we are at now) and i know it still now. but i still dont regrett it.

OP posts:

stanausauruswrecks · 08/04/2010 11:18

He sounds like a complete twat.
You're not in love with him rather the idea that you have built up in your head, based on the information he's given you, and lets face it, he'll have spent a lot of time telling you how fabulous he is, and completely ommitted all his irritating habits (such as phoning his lawyer to tell off a policeman - what a nob!!!)
Run for your life girl!!!

Headbanger · 08/04/2010 11:19

OP, how old are you? (I'm not being snide: I'm genuinely interested).

Original poster

teenagecrush · 08/04/2010 11:19

im not saying who he is or what he does.

he wouldnt think he was jesus. hes atheist.

he thinks hes fab as he is. he constantly has people telling him he is fab. but he says it annoys him as he doesnt need compliments to know that.

pmsl. Im sorry. its just too funny. he sounds like a cartoon or something. He is actually real and i have never come across someone like him before because people just dont act like that.

its facinating.

OP posts:

Original poster

teenagecrush · 08/04/2010 11:20

mid 30's

both of us.

OP posts:

MostActive · 08/04/2010 11:23

OP,do you have children?

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