Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

SugarMouse - how I wish DaftPunk were around to read this. I might actually print it out for all the people I know who think Jordan and the like are role models.

bows to your post

Wow thank you SugarMousePink. What a perfect testimony.

I think many feminists have come from a perspective of being degraded by some situation. I believed I was an empowered teenager but, to my eternal regret, I became involved with someone who terrorised me for years emotionally mostly, but also sexually at times. I blamed myself for this until I started reading feminist perspectives on theology and ecology for my degree. That perspective, coupled with the birth of my son, gave me the motivation and ability to leave that relationship.

Even experiencing domestic violence and rape hasn't made me hate men however. I hated that particular man for a while but not any more. My present partner's gentleness has eradicated most of the fear I was left with too.

Feminism allowed me to see that I had the power to change things for myself. Without feminism I would probably still be stuck, believing I deserve to be screamed at and bullied, or worse, suicidally depressed, or worse.

Thanks, SugarMouse.

Agreed re your points on Jordan / hardness. I don't have a huge amount of time for her but I do have sympathy ... (prepares for flaming for being seen as patronising!)

Feminist love in 3 SugarMouse!
Is anyone watching BBC4 right now?

Women. It's a series on feminism. Now torn beween this and Hugh Laurie.

It's main focus is the division of household labour. Lots of different perspectives both male and female.

TSH the things said here about Dworkin and French, amongst others, are common knowledge to many women whose mothers were influenced by the movements of the sixties and the seventies.

But you would know that if you were genuinely interested in sexual politics.

Am bored of your unpleasant posting manner.

Sorry I'm still with TSH on this. Equality. And as for being forced to be a lap dancer as a student....sorry what if you were fat and ugly and that route was open to you? Some of us are! That was NOT the only option available.

Some women ARE forced to work in the sex trade, I know. Usually as part of criminal activity. I have personally had no money and shed loads of debt. I would not sell myself though.

NOT open to you grrrr

I have no problem with you doing it. I don't think badly of you for doing it and admire your honesty. I object to the idea that you had NO other option. There is/was an element of choice involved.

StayFrosty - that is not what I said.

What I said was the post implied that was the ONLY choice she had. But if you were fat and no one wanted you as a lap dancer, would you therefore have starved in the gutter? No, you wouldn't. There are in fact OTHER options than lapdancing.

Sugarmouse
Fantastic first post. Thank you so much for sharing what must have been a terrible experience with us. I totally agree with this statement:

I think a feminism thread would be a great idea - although I'm quite shock at some of the very anti-feminist views on here! It makes me think of a truck full of turkeys complaining about you liberating them when it's Dec 24th...!

I keep popping back onto this thread, it is so interesting and informative. I can feel my opinion slowly forming in my head, where there used to be a gap.