Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

'At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book.'

Make a rota of housework, chores and childcare and make sure he does his fair share. No grumbling allowed.

That's feminism: the radical notion that women are people, too.

ROFL at Julie B. She doesn't pull her punches does she ?

Just want to thank everyone again who replied with links and books. (That quote is great butterpie.) I'm rooting around eBay and amazon for lots of them and I'm looking forward to reading most of them myself.

Wrt the level of attack on this thread, I think my jargonese alienated some posters. Terms like 'male privilege' sound like pomposity I suppose if you interpret them as a slight against men. But the term is just shorthand for a larger critique about male experience as distinct and different from female experience.

Being less generous, I could also say that some posters react with judgemental viciousness to any post that contains words they don't understand. Using long words does not equate to pomposity or humorlessness. Nevertheless it's possible that my OP did sound quite Modern Parents. But you can't deny I also have unfeasably large testicles, Viz fans.

Expat we both share the housework already. I'm the grumbler actually.

I love Burchill when she's in full flight - hugely cathartic

Equality... jeez. Look at the stats on this thread. Women are not treated equally. Feminism argues that until women are treated equally, there are still battles to be fought. Saying 'men and women are equal' without acknowledging the enormous disparities and injustices that take place every day is blinkered thinking.

Porto - do you just not believe in sexism? To say that feminists want to be more than equal is simply wrong and suggests you have not done any reading about what feminists aim to achieve.

It's an important point this. Most men have no idea how privileged they are. Growing up as a boy doesn't prepare you for fathering a girl IMO. He had his own pressures but she will have some very different ones.

But nowhere have I said that my dp is a sexist male. I do hope I haven't given that impression. He could probably give lectures to some of the women on this thread about respect, compassion and tolerance.

Blinder....you are doing it again, will you stop being so bloody patronizing...I have probably read more books than you'll ever read...I understood your post...I just thought it was mental....

...mental to me, probably not to all the apologists on MN who have so little identity of their own, they're always fighting someone elses cause.

I worry more about white working class boys who are falling behind in the education system because no one cares about them....

Dp well done for reading so many books you clever clogs . NOW I'm patronising you dp. Stop taking my posts so personally.

That's interesting sprogger. I wonder if the same thing happens to mothers too. I am definitely becoming more angry about sexism since she has been born.

Parenting a son has really softened me towards men over the years. Not sure how it's affected my politics! Actually, his fascination with nature has probably made me more environmentally conscious.

I don't think it does to be honest. You only need to look at the mission statements for societies like the Fawcett society or Object to see that all their aiming for is equality.