ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Have you all gone to bed I only left to make a cup of tea

His mistress maybe alcohol moviegirl so dont drive yourself nuts.Stay strong you will be amazed at the strength you will find.Eat your favourite things to keep your strength up.I lived on sugar puffs for a month.Keep posting and let us know how you are .

still awake
cannt sleep

torturing myself i know but brain will not turn off

Morning dumplings! Nice poems maybee. I never really liked Bob Marley LOL but realising as I get a little older that he's not that bad.

Its sounds like a lot of you ladies are older than me with discussing mid life crises. My hubby is younger than me, so it's not a MLC just him being very very selfish.

Cannot wait to go to cinema with my little munchkin. They're next door chomping hot cross buns with some fruit right now. Bizarre breakfast offering but hey, why not

Hope you got to sleep in the end moviegirl.

moviegirl - I really feel for you. While my H didn't disappear, the first couple of weeks before he moved out (and my anti-depressants kicked in) were hell and I'd fall asleep exhausted then wake up after a few hours and not be able to sleep again because there was so much going on in my head.

If you can't stop thinking, try thinking about yourself - what you really want out of things. What really hurts is that he has control, isn't it!?

I used to sit up in bed on the laptop and just vent about how sad and angry and hopeless I felt - and it did help. Then when I started to feel shattered again I'd play card games until my eyelids started drooping - somehow it just helped to block out the thoughts.

Everyone told me that when things are this bad you are allowed to fall apart for a while. So long as DCs are fed, safe and warm that'll do for the moment.

I woke up at 5am feeling a bit sad as I'd been dreaming about trying to talk to H. Managed to get back to sleep, and woke up at 8 to find H complaining on facebook about DS having been awake at 4am and how he needed more sleep. I'd slept till 8 and knowing that he was experiencing the realities of having DS all to himself has helped to cheer me up, mean as it is.

morning everyone

got to sleep around 5am and then stupid alarm went off at 5.40 (my normal wake up time) Had sent several texts to DH last night all ignored except one this morning saying "do not text any more" Am livid - if the shoe was on the other foot and I had done this he would be furious, changing the locks and getting a solicior

had shower and 18th coffee and back on here

going to take DC to swimming this morning then off to see a pal for some comfort.

thank god mum and dad here to look after DC - he's never a scrap of bother, am so proud of him

Last night (and he knows something is up) he gave me a hug and said I was the best person ever created! Shame his father doesnt think same.

Bless Him

I crumbled

Moviegirl

Hang in there.Its tough. Keep yourself occupied looking after DS and yourself.Ive learnt you cant control him - you can control yourself.

Hope it's all going ok for you today MovieGirl - best thing to do I think is to try to ignore him until he emerges - hard I know (and I am the worst one at standing back in sits like yours!) but objectively probably the best thing to do. He will only try to use your texting against you whereas if you ignore him it is more likely to make him think. I remember a weekend when XH was off b**king and I just knew he was but had no proof - went to hell and back TBH and made RL friends' weekends a total misery...

Where has the sun gone ?

A good weekend lined up - lots happening. Grrrr wanna share stuff I can't share but afraid of being outed if BE and Bumpkin wander onto here.

Funny isn't it? On one level we can share loads but another level we can't. So for example, I'd only need to say something like off to Covent Garden shopping, it's my X birthday next weekend or hope I do a good time in the Marathon and if they looked, that'd be me done for. Annoying!!!!

All solved of course maybe by a Dumpling meet up. So..if we want to pursue this then I think if, Maybees and Starting, you really think you can come (cos I'm thinking you're the furthest away unless "across the water" is across the Thames?) then you could suggest a weekend that would suit you and then we could take it from there...

My hubby knows my nn. I live in hope he'll log on and read it, might give him a reality check

Hmmm probably not. Don't think he cares tbh. He's due here shortly. Wish me luck.

Fireman Sam was ok but D Price looks very different now. Bella has gone and has been replaced by a blonde lady and a few other things are different from the series shown on FIVE. But my little one still enjoyed it.

Good luck TeaAndCake! (speaks the older voice of experience)

Just left, still can't decide between us but he told me that he has a connection with her that we do not have and he is afraid if he leaves her, that our marriage will be just like his parents one (which is very dysfunctional) and he'll be miserable for the rest of his life.

Nice hey?

cant possibly comment but sounds like a coward - dont know your story tea and cakes but think you and your munchkin are best without him

but it is so hard to think of that isnt it....

You don't have to scroll down far moviegirl for my pathetic story...

Gosh I can't keep up with this thread. Hope you're all OK, I'm surrounded by the debris left over from my H moving out today. Don't know where to start trying to fill the huge gaps left everywhere, let alone the one in my heart. Think I might just ignore it all and have a bath and early night instead.

I vote for bath.

I just ate 100g of swiss chocolate to console myself, even though I am meant to be dieting. But now I feel sick

wish i could eat, have nothing for four days
lots of coffee though

will be size zero by next weekend - in my dreams

no proper sleep for 6 nights so am determined to have an early night today and not spend all night on here = although it is addictive

Evening my fellow dumplings, hope you're all doing ok.

Hi Moviegirl, sorry to hear you had so little sleep. I lost so much sleep over everything that happened with exh. I used be too wound up & not able to switch off my head. It's part of the course I think but maybe try lavender baths, camomile tea, rescue remedy, or anything else that'll help to calm you.

Hi Tea, I hope you're doing ok after what happened with H.

Hi Maggie, also hope you're doing ok. I remember that awful pain when H was gone.

Hi Happy, I am indeed not just accross the Thames, ha, ha! Why don't ye see what suits everyone else for meet up & then I'll either be able to slot in with that or not. If I don't manage to make this one hopefully it'll be such great fun that you'll organise future gatherings that I'll be able to make.

Am feeling very happy tonight that despite all I've had to cope with this year I've almost completed another year at college! Yippee & claps on back to me!

Hi Moviegirl, drinking coffee & not eating is really bad for you, says she who did this in past (coffee & cigs). Try to find something that you can eat such as soup, scrambled eggs, porriage, banannas whatever but something healthy. You are going to do yourself no favours as you'll end up very run down between lack of sleep & food. Sometimes when I was really bad I'd just eat a mars bar or something to keep energy levels up. I used to just force myself to eat, at the begining if I wasn't up to cooking I used to just get takeaways for me & dc's or visit someone for dinner etc.

Also Moviegirl, when you're going through emotional stress like this your immune system takes an awful hammering so it might be a good idea to put yourself on a tonic or good multi vitamin for now.

Happy, just checked flights & they won't break the bank & plenty of options so that side will be fine. All depends on dates that suit everyone else now............

I might be able to make it if I could go there and back in a day and save myself a hotel room - I'm near birmingham so its quite doable so long as H falls in with things.

moviegirl - I know how you feel about the not eating and the not sleeping and it is just horrible. I was like this for a couple of weeks (I'm sure it would have been longer if it weren't for my ADs). I had to keep going because of my 2yo DS, so I would force down a smoothie (the little innocent kids ones in cartons) in the morning to give me some energy (although not until after I had been sick sometimes - nothing to do with being pregnant either!) and plain fruit bread sometimes worked too.

As everyone said to me, it WILL get better - and it has, just keep struggling through and slowly it gets easier.

Yes indeedy Maggie 2morrow is another day !
Lavender baths have been my thing this week sooooo relaxing x

Tea what is your plan now ?

moviegirl -november I lived on cigs and irn bru ,not recommended, december moved onto sugar puffs not great but better than nothing.You need to keep healthy babe cos we're having a party" dahn sarf in Landan,"so pls try a little something 2nite ,wot about milky coffee and luxury biscuits mmmmmm !
ps read H had contacted u re swimming FFS!
mine hadnt managed a conversation in weeks ,then phoned one nite cos I hadnt replied to his text asking if I had fed the cat ?

Right ,this is fecking rediculous how slow is my typing exactly- Startin you did 4 posts then and checked flights FFS!You were still at college when I started my post!
Away to put the kettle on !

Maybee - I don't know anymore, feel shivery and sick. Maybe I'm overtired as I've been burning the candle at both ends and don't eat well either. Feed the kids brilliantly, I just forget to eat myself most of the time but drink loads of coffee too.

Time for bed.

Hi Maybees, that just gave me a great laugh! It used to be part of my work so don't compare, I've an unfair advantage . Glad you're enjoying the lavander bath, I find them great.