ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Evening my fellow Dumplings, hope all is going well in ye're worlds. Great day out with dc's today, lots of fun, even managed a bus trip on a double decker which had kids squealing with delight . Quite enjoyed it myself actually must do it more often.

Had to go up to the attic for something yesterday & it took me so long to find what I was looking for I am now on a mission to clear as much crap asap. Highchair, cot etc have been donated to a good home & a few items of exh have been listed for sale . Operation clear house underway!

Maybees was worried you might have gone on a bit of a downer after the other night with H so glad to hear your doing ok.

Hi Chairmum, my dd was also up last night so didn't get much sleep. Hope you fair out better tonight.

Hi Tea, I was a year late doing my tax returns also. Was going to claim I'd had a breakdown but in the end it was grand . Glad you had a nice day too.

I think the ice has finally departed thanks be to god. My garden is a disgrace. Unfortunately, I do not find serenity in gardening like others hense I've always had a gardener. Will worry about it when operation house is complete unless the neighbours complain in the meantime!

Hi Mavis, you make moving house sound almost easy!! Organising the group would be no pressure, will just depend if there's any uptake. Will wait & see anyway. I know what you mean about the meeting someone else debate. When I think of that it makes just staying on my own with dc's seem like the easier option. Like you though I don't give it much thought.

Hi Maggie, hope you manage to get the counselling sorted soon.

Waves to Ifyourhappy..........hope work trip went well.

work trip fine..........

batteries recharged by watching Dezzy H this evening (shame that work colleague told me what happens next as now no surprise )

much respect to all re: tax returns - have had mental block re: tax returns for many years but new fabulosity means that I have now conquered them and have even received letter from tax people recently offering deepest respect and stating that I no longer need to fill them in

huge respect (ffs how many times can I use my new word this evening!!) to Mavis for making moving sound so easy. I cannot imagine leaving my home which I have loved so much for many years which is no doubt what will happen if BE and Bumpkin have their way

Hi Happy, glad you're enjoying the happy hour . I'm a dab old hand at all things form/tax related would have been related to my work field but last year was a fog of trauma......have got on top of things again though.

Just did a load of ironing . Also went to get cot ready for it's departure tomorrow & feel quite emotional. Was tempted to ring lady & invent some crazy excuse for not parting with it.............It's like saying goodbye to any possible future babies. Am obviously slightly insane cause I can just about manage the ones I have .

God, I hope you won't have to move out of your home Happy. That would be tough going. It's one thing when it's by choice .......

Hi Starting, good to know that you're good with the forms. Now I know where to go in times of trauma .

Leaving the home? Yes I will have to eventually which is crazy as I can afford to pay for it in many ways - but hopefully I can wait a while until I can come to terms with it (it's complicated and hard to explain on here!)

And can you do my ironing? hate ironing!!!

Happy, keep the faith, hopefully a solution will present itself so that you can keep the house & if not maybe you'll be even happier somewhere else where you didn't live with H .

On the ironing front, I dry everything in the dryer to avoid drying . Hope I'm not offending anyone's green principles .

Dah.....that should have read to avoid ironing & I not even the one on the wine..........

It's late and I need to go to bed now but tell me about this.....

I have developed a strange fascination with all of this fly stuff in the Good Housekeeping topic

They talk about cleaning and list house jobs they will do that the day

Am I:

a) a recovering dumpling who is so recovered that she is becoming obsessed with cleaning and forgetting dumpling problems / twunthead OR

b) going nuts as cleaning obsession is not normal

help appreciated.....

Happy, sorry had rushed off to take another load out of dryer & fold to avoid the whole ironing thing.......

My advice on the cleaning obsession is that it's lack of sex . There are worse substitutes I can think of .....

Would you believe as I was folding dd's jeans I discovered strange orange streaks. On further investigation I discovered a florscent orange feather in the pocket........

The mind boggles..........

Should have mentioned the bloody jeans were WHITE............... Milton me thinks!!

mmm fair enough

good luck with the washing - washing or puppy, washing or puppy, washing or puppy, it's a tough one........

sleep tight xx

Washing - am done with puppy! Next time will be the real deal!! Watch this space!! Just have to finish operation clear house first .

starting - I think its quite normal to be getting into cleaning etc when you're recovering from being ditched. I have a renewed enthusiasm for it all when I have the energy, and my house is gradually getting cleaner and tidier!

Enjoy it while you're feeling it. I have liked some of the flylady stuff and need to start the decluttering myself (although funnily enough H helped me with that bit last week )

Hi Chairmum, the prob I think is that I am nearly two years down the line & I think Happy is similiar!! We need to be moving on from the whole cleaning business at this stage . Anyway, am happy in process of decluttering for now.......

starting - I'm beginning to realise that this whole recovery thing goes in cycles a bit. I think we all have times where we feel like we're back to square one (or almost) - I'm going on friends who have split here - and resort to those familiar tactics to survive.

I've just got myself back on the flylady thread. DS is at nursery in a bit (already asleep in the pushchair ) and I will get cracking on my list. The house is much more welcoming when its tidy

Gaaaah! Still not had a call back from the stupid effing counselling people. Trying to gather the energy to chase it again...

Just WHAT is this cleaning thing all about?? So strange, I never even realised til I read this thread

I have actually taken some days off work next week so I can 'get the house clean and sorted' once my H has moved out...Christ, I'll be doing it to the 'South Pacific' soundtrack if I'm not careful. I HATE cleaning!! Altogether now, "I'm gonna wash that man right outta my hair"...

Love it love it Maggie

Maggie - you've hit the nail on the head there. (I would be singing that too if I hadn't lost my voice!)

I'm off to do some more of said cleaning before I have to get DS from nursery!

Hi Chairmum, you are right recovery is indeed circular!

Waves to all...........

Ok, lady called this am re cot & I am forcing myself to part with it (am going to consider it my good deed). Drove to second had shop with two lockers I wanted to get rid of & actually got money for them, yipee!

Am obsessional now in my need to declutter. This happens to me every few months, I realise the house is full of crap & go on a frantic clearing spree!

starting - I freecycled all my baby clothes above 6 months only Even though deep down I'm not sure our marriage is recoverable getting rid of final clothes is almost admitting to myself I may never have anymore babies

I'm not good on cleaning, I tend to be so tired once kids in bed, I stare at the computer or tv. You guys are making me feel I'm too lazy.

I used to love cleaning and tidying when marriage going well, wanted to be a good wife etc and take care of him But now I feel deflated and can't be bothered. I hoover everyday 2 days (have to with biscuit crumbs) but dusting - never, bathroom gets a once over fortnightly and the kitchen, well the kitchen is bearable but not like how it used to be.

What's that saying:

If the shelves are dusty and the pots don't shine
It's because I have better things to do with my time

Or just mumsnet in my case!

Spent the day with SIL and my DD played with her 4 yo cousin, whilst my son poked and prodded his baby cousin there and caused mischief generally as he's in the just walking stage.

Hi all! Saddened to realise that I have so far been unbitten by the cleaning bug, lord knows the house could do with it (I was rubbish at nesting too).

My only obsessive trait is watching reruns of Doctor Who on BBC3 which I can firmly predict will wear off when they start showing the new doctor. I can neither confirm or deny whether this has any bearing on my views on David Tennant.

I'm firmly in denial about the moving house thing. I have a move date but nowhere to move to so I should be climbing the wall with stress. I moved out of the family home last summer which was tough as it had be a renovation project completed by myself and H but I'm now determined to get back on the career track and buy my own home for me and the boys. IfYourHappy - you'll get there!

Starting - good luck with the decluttering, here's hoping it's profitable.

Right, have revision to do or I won't be going anywhere.

Not long til the weekend!

Mavis - part of it with me is that H actually used to do quite a lot of housework, so I need to prove to myself that I can keep the house nicer than it was with both of us here. If I can do that, then perhaps I can manage to scrape through keeping us clean and tidy when the baby arrives!

My list on the flylady thread looks quite impressive though, makes me give myself a smile, especially in bed in my clean sheets with my clean nightie on

starting - hope the decluttering works for you

Evening all

In one short day this has become a cleaning thread. I may arrange to have it moved.

Girls think again please. I may have started some of this cleaning talk but we really do have better things to do. Yes - you may all make clothes out of curtains and be wonderful (in my head you are all now kind of Julie Andrews in the Sound Of Music) but girls in addition to being the excellent mothers that you are it is time to party.

I recommend a mass visit to Central London (ok I know it will be a challenge for some so maybe a visit for us all to somewhere miles from Central London also) where a large party is held and much fun had. I have had years with no fun and I will put up with this no longer.

I believe that I am somewhat older than most of you but am still Happy to lead the fray.

And Starting no, not yet 6 months since I kicked BE out after his behaviour.