ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Happy - pick one room where you spend most time, and do one thing to clean it. Then tomorrow do that thing again and another thing. I started making sure DS and I had a tidy lounge to play in and cleared off the table every night and it really helped. Now clearing it is a 2 minute job instead of a half hour rescue mission. Then even if I have a bad day and miss a load of stuff (or like yesterday do nothing) nowhere takes too much rescuing!

Just googled fly lady PMSL this might be just what I need will let you know how it goes .....working up to the dishes now
Had it all under control for a while there,now it has gone mental the mess has gone forth and multiplied .

Thanks for top tip Miaow . I agree TIDY=CALM
Shall chant while I clean....TIDY=CALM..TIDY=CALM

My whole house needs rescuing .......
Ok no choc left ,no excuses.....

maybees - one step at a time. Just pick a room and then you'll always have somewhere to go that makes you smile!

Oh Christ, I just made a cuppa to sit down here with and have just ended up gobbling down a whole easter egg! Poor ds has been obsessed with peeling and chopping carrots since yesterday. He snuck into the kitchen earlier & climbed up to get a sharp knife to chop the carrots & cut his hand. The blood pumped out of it & he was very upset. He ended up falling asleep in my arms bless him.

Happy, operation house never finishes. I've just given up the battle with dc's on holiday because they were trashing it quicker then I could clean it. Have been keeping them out of house as much as possible to minimise damage.

Have come to the sad conclusion that I will not be able to travel to meet up on Sat. Flights have now doubled in price. Exh getting access made it impossible for me to be able to book in advance as I had to see how access was going to work out. If ye ever manage to organise a second meet up hopefully things will be more settled for me & I'll be able to make it.

you can't come Starting but I'm sure this will be the first of many. In any case, we will all need to see the results of Operation House one day!

We will try to send you Dumplings on Tour email updates during the day if we can find appropriate technology .

Right then, I think this means we have Chairmum, Pink, me, MumFun and Tea - am I right? I will now work with my trusty lieutenant to sort out the final details, this including a secret location, secret timings and secret clothing (btw on my shop last week I saw tshirts with Girls Kick Ass on the front - would that work?)

Happy I've had to force myself to say no . I'd love to meet up with ye all but it would be insanity to blow that much for a lunch!

starting - I know what you mean - My 40 quid on train tickets (plus bus, plus tube) feels like a lot but I feel like I'm going to be out of circulation for a while so I might as well take my chance while I have it!

Today has been very stressful as a good friend has had something very very bad happen to her. I'm feeling very churned up about it and can only imagine how she is feeling. All I can do is be there for her but it sort of makes my troubles seem insignificant.

However on the H front I've stupidly been letting a bit of hope in. We've been managing to be friendly and chatty and he was very supportive today with my friend's problems. I've started to think about the future and a plan to work on things but I don't have any idea how he would take it. Part of me thinks I need to give him space - as I need some too at the moment, and I'm not ready for much more than we have (I just want to know that we haven't given up entirely!). Another bit worries that if I don't make it clear I still want to try things, he'll find someone else - and that definitely would turn my world upside down. I don't know if I want him but I'm not ready to hand him over yet.

Arggh. lots of thinking going on. Probably a bad thing.

Hi Chairmum, sorry to hear about your friend. I understand exactly what you mean about H. It's one thing being apart but another saying there's no going back. It's a hard place to be but I'm sure you'll work out what's best for you.

I could have a weekend in Spain for what going to the lunch was going to cost me !

Anyway, dc's are mental from chocolate overdosing. I've given up with younger two at this stage. Can't get them to sleep, was the same last night. Did a lovely healthy stew to try to counteract the sugar in their veins but to no avail...........

Anyone any ideas of anything that might knock them out that legal????????????

I'm just going to try the positive parenting route CM work together being civilised and taking one day at a time.You never know wots round the next corner......found some porn in hs things today I was cleaning, honest, anyway total knee jerk reaction and thru it in the fire ,dont know if that counts as tidying up

Hope wee man ok Startin'

Can you put them on the treadmill or did ya sell it ?

Maybees, that's a great idea but would prob have the opposite effect . Never managed to sell the bloody thing.......

ds is recovered thanks & by the sounds coming from upstairs he's going to come trough the roof at any min.......

What's that prayer again........God grant me the serenity.......

Starting - Medised?

Maybee - I LOVE rescue remedy too. They now have a night one that helps you to stop thinking and cycling things through your head before sleep. Its ace. As for cleaning, I'm afraid I'm doing bare minimum too. Living in pajamas and drinking tea/ coffee right now

Happy - Not sure about weekend, having trouble with childcare and money is looking dire as H isn't sending me any now...

Submitted first lot of papers and marriage certificate today to solicitors...

Starting...you'd rather have a weekend in Spain than lunch with us ???????? How could you ?

Such a shame you can't come.

Maybees... are you coming ?

"Dumplings On Tour"..... I like that, I think we should get a tour bus and visit Starting and Maybees and Mavis.......where ever they maybe. Sheep, cows, green grass mmm could be anywhere.

DJ Happy could do the music on the bus, I'm thinking of Cliff Richard now on his bus.

Hope your friend is ok Chairmum, doesn't sound good.

Just heard Dawn French and Lenny H have split up .

On Operation House front, only keep what's usefull or beautiful. Whatever is left after that... get rid. I did that a few months ago and my house is much calmer and more spacious without all the unnesersarry (wtf) crap in it.

Ok, have seperated them out into their own rooms again, used threat of giving away easter eggs if they didn't go to sleep. Have no Medised so will be spared the guilt of drugging them......... You've just reminded me, I'd recommended rescue remedy on here & I haven't used it myself for ages, must stock up again. Could do with the night time one at times........

Tea just be gentle with yourself. Take care of dc's needs & allow yourself to slum it out in pj's for now.

Pink, that was hypothetical, Spain will be on my wish list........

What you have described about your house is the illusive thing I pine for. Am constantly riding the house of crap but it piles up again quicker than I can cope with........ My only hope would be to get rid of dc's I think .

I'll be happy to accommodate the touring dumplings..........escape from the city to country living & cow sh*te........

Hi all la la la

Tea - hoping you can find a way to come, we'd love to see you (although we will of course understand if you can't come). I know you've had a really smelly week and have seen your other posts. What can we do to help? There will be some good hugs if you come! xx

Starting, a beautiful, calm, crap free house doesn't have to be elusive, AND you can keep the DCs. Go through all the toys etc with DCs and get them to put 15 things each to one side to be dumped, charity shop......

Chuck out any broken crap stuff eg puzzels etc.

Get some good storage containers for the toys like those lovely colouful rubbery buckets in different sizes or baskets, whatever you like.

Go round your house and ANYTHING that you don't "love or need" seperate into bin bags and take them to the dump. Aim to fill up the car.

Get stuff off the floor and put it on shelves. It will make your house look more spacious and make hoovery much easier.

Thin out the DCs books and "artwork" and only keep the really lovely stuff. No point hoarding crap.

Open your kitchen cupboards, wardrobes, DCs cupboards, etc etc, pull EVERYTHING out and only put back the things you "love or need".

The rest goes to charity or you can do a car boot sale. DCs can sell their stuff and make some pocket money.

Open your utencil drawer and repeat process.

It will take a few weeks and will get worse before it gets better. Only aim to do a couple of hours or so a day.

When you've finnished you'll be SO pleased with yourself, you'll have more space, you'll wander round your house with such a sence of achievement and a new found love for your home.

Then you can clean the windows, buy yourself a couple of lovely old jugs and some flowers to put in them and we'll all come up (down?)
in the Dumpling Tour Bus and have tea and cake in your kitchen.

hoovery ? hoovering.

I am by the way, the total opposite of the dreaded Anthea Turner in every conceiveble way.

Just had to say that. Can't bear her. Smug cow.

Pink, I actually do that every few months but I don't think I've ever got it totally right. It was impossible with exh as he was a complete shopaholic of any conceivable type of crap. I am aiming for it this time though. Have already cleared loads. It's a work in progress & you are right it's going to take me weeks. I've already got great storage to dc's toys so that really helps. You have just managed to complete what I'm forever attempting..........

Pink - one of the flylady things I like is setting a timer - so you pick a job, set the timer for 15 minutes then get cracking. It's amazing what you ando in that time when you are focussed. I need to go back to doing this to limit myself - no more than 2 15 minute sessions before you sit down and have a 15 minute rest :-)

for big decluttering she says never pull out more than you can deal with in an hour.

Can't sleep here cos my back muscles now hurt and are making breathing uncomfortable. Might have to head to the docs tomorrow if this continues!

Oh and I decluttered quite well by giving H all my old kitchen stuff that was hardly used :-). And all the double duvet stuff (I have the king size :-)I comfort myself that if we do get divorced I can sell a load of DVDs that never get watched too :-)

Chairmum, I have exh's dvd & cd collection here waiting to sell............
I've someone calling tomorrow to look at his bike . When he moved out he took only his clothes etc & told me to ram the rest up my arse . It's been a small consolation.....

You've prob been overdoing the cleaning. Maybe lay off for awhile & take plenty of warm baths with a bit of sea salt or something..... Hope it eases for you soon.

Starting - definitely overdid it sat and sun but rested completely on Monday and tried not to do too much today! Clearly I really overdid it if it is still a problem.

Just had a good chuckle listening to Ds talking in his sleep :-)