ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched No3

[startingovernow]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Chairmum, whatever you think your H is doing it's probably not as interesting or exiting as you think. It seldom is.

He's probably bloated with too much crap food, plucking hair from his ears, farting alot and watching telly.

Am back doing nails so one hand typing! Also trying to balance a biscuit in my mouth! Just had lovely bath, deep conditioned hair, did face mask & picked outfit. Going for black dress above knee, tights & knee boots (heels of course). Ditched designer bag for occassion , want judge to sympathetic .

Chairmum, that stuff will torture you. I went down that road at the start & I did myself no favours. Less you know the better!

Tea, I'm the same. Will only end in spots or fat so I'll have to cut it out!

Have D Housewifes taping & going to save it till tomorrow night.

Waves to Happy & Pink.

Re your comment on not having any male dumplings : there's a good reason for that, we don't want anyone else's castoffs!!

I'd imagine the majority of male dumplings would have been dumped for a very good reason. Call me cynical but I think the poor wronged man who just happened to marry a bitch is a minority breed!

Yeah starting, I guess you're right....

Sadly, I think I'm just craving male input. Is that so wrong? Should chocs and nice bath be enough? I guess so .

Happy, craving male imput is a good thing, means you're well on road to recovery. Think you'd do better finding one in RL though, friends of friends or meeting through hobbies etc..

Yeah defo on recovery road. Bothered about XP, me? Dairfinitely not.

Wasn't expecting to pull on the thread , worry ye not, just like a bit of male conversation at times and don't get enough although suppose I do talk to plenty of men at work really.

Chance of pulling on the thread would be a fine thing . I meant more in the sense of pulling online ie dating sites etc. I know some people have success but not for the faint hearted I think!

laughing now - please do bring printout to meet up!

Ah Sorry to disappoint, well deleted! Was afraid of showing someone pics of dcs some day & all of a sudden up pops PPT! No, it's well gone tg!

Ah! never mind.

Hope tomorrow OK, horrible that you have to go through that but you will be fine.

Got a bit confused by the StartingOver thread - I thought it was you Starting!!

Hope youve survived it starting!(())

Miaow - I do recommend not having him on Facebook -or friends who have gone over to his dark side - I dont think it helps you in long run. Email and texts are generally recommended comms media.

Looking forward to metup if we can do it at all

Ifyourhappy -def get out and do some hobbies/stuff where you meet men -Ive found it reassuring and kind of nice to meet kind friendly men in social situation. Restores a little faith etc etc

Waves to all other dumplings. Have lovely Wednesdays!

OK some C-A-Ting has been done.

Thanks Pink and MumFun for the emails - if anyone else would like me to C-A-T re: meeting up please do......Maybees I tried to C-A-T you but I think that you have probably blocked C-A-T on your profile

Once I've got a few more emails I'll send out a group email for "off-thread" discussion

Dumplings I am just back & completely devestated. Judge wasn't interested in prior events & just awarded unsupervised access! Exh had no interest in overnight access & just wanted a few hrs every sat & sun. My weekends will be completely f*cked up. Won't be able to do anything with dc's or even have a day out. Also maintanence went very bad. He's getting away with paying min but just enough so I won't get any benefits.

I feel really upset. It's like after everything he's still managed to come out with exactly what he wants. The whole thing was horrible, like a battle & he won. He's going to poison the poor dc's with his hatred & anger.

Can you dispute it and go to court again?

Did my cat thing HAPPY
Out tonite - counselling
Startin just remember its not over til its over.This must be your toughest day for a long time,wish you were just down the road so you and kids could come over for supper and cake.
Agree with tea,can you appeal, WTF is ur sollicitor doin (anything?)and how can judge not take into account the previous ,cat me if you can or want to.Back 2nite .

ps Kick the crap out of something if you can !

We will drink champagne,maybe not today,maybe not 2morrow,but soon !

Oh my god Starting, I can't believe it went so badly. You need a few days to process it all in your head. I don't know what to say except that you're an amazing, sorted, grounded and hillarious woman and it will be ok.

Try and be calm and rational, it all seems very bleak now but have faith in yourself and your DC. I'm sure they won't be poisoned, they won't let that happen.

I'm sorry you've had such a hard knock, you must feel traumertised.

What a twat judge.

Really feel for you. X

Hi All, I can't dispute it. My solicitor is very good but it's all about father's rights here at the moment, big campaigns going on etc. I'll just have to accept it for now & hope to god it goes well. I spent so long trying to facilitate regular access & exh left dc's down & cancelled at a whim. Now after 5 mts of dropping dc's & no contact he gets to choose the hours that suit him & resumes being a father! Not taking into consideration the fact that he terrified & endangered the dc's the last time he had contact by having a psychotic eposide!

I'll have to seperate my own personal feeling & look at this as being good for dc's if exh manages to keep it together. Being honest I can hardly seeing him maintaining two consecutive days long term anyway. It could have been a lot worse as judge wanted him to have overnight access but exh refused! Further down the line I'll hopefully be able to sort times that suit me better. I'll just have to wait it out till exh messes up!

Just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse the bloody dog ate my dd's comfort toy! I had got it in eurodisney so am hoping I'll be able to find one somewhere on internet now!

Sorry to be so negative, but right now I feel there is no justice. If you were unlucky enough to marry a twunt, your life is f*cked!

Thank you for your kind words of support.

Sounds awful Starting . Have been wondering how it was going this afternoon.

I guess you'll just have to see how it goes. From what you say he may shoot himself in the foot fairly quickly anyway and if that happens then surely, that's going to be access out of the window for some time. Horrible when you want the DC's to have a great Dad and don't want to be negative to them about him but!

Have you told the DC's yet and got their reaction?

C-A-T sent to you Maybees

Starting - just catching up with the thread - so sorry to hear about how things went today. Hopefully your XH will f**k up sooner rather than later although it's a double edged sword, isn't it? - you want what's best for the dcs but that may mean the best may not involve their father.

Hope you get some RL support through all this.

So sorry and thoroughly p*ed off for you Starting. Cant believe there is to be no supervision to start with. Arghhhh.

Just hope he behaves well.

oh starting

I think we need to set the dumplings on that judge! How can he ignore what was going on in the past? What else is important?!? Grrr!!!

To raise the mood a bit hopefully, I've actually been out tonight - just for a swim, but I was aiming for 10 lengths and did 12, so I'm feeling pretty pleased with myself. Got all my jobs done in the house too. Hopefully I've worn myself out and I'll sleep well

Hi All, went on a wild goose chase to a late night shop to try & get replacement comforter for dd (no luck)! Think I may have found something similar but in a shop that was closed so will have to try again tomorrow. Bought the dc's a toy each anyway & then took them to McDonalds.

I feel really emotional. On the one hand I'd love nothing more than the dc's to have a great relationship with their father but on the other hand this man has made my life hell for the past 18mts. He's had absolutely no regard for the dc's, caused them horrific pain & upset & exposed them to stuff they should never have been exposed to. I was the one left to pick up the pieces & now he gets to waltz back in as & when it suits him.

He was sniggering in court today, he couldn't give a fu*k about all the pain & hurt. It's a complete travesty of justice & only for the fact that it would harm the dc's more in the long run, there is a part of me that would like to go public with this. The dc's were left extremely traumatised & distressed & their lives were endangered the last time he had access & yet the judge says it's not relevant!