Are you 100% certain your dp/dh would never cheat on you?

[thesteelfairy2]

if you are why do you feel that way?

I am truly interested in the answers to this seeing as Mark Owen has joined the long line of celebrity cheating ar*eholes.

Also when I first met my ex h I would have bet a £million that he would never cheat on me. Even though it was in my face I trusted him implicitly because of all the things he said and his reactions to other peoples infidelities.

I personally am of the opinion that all men cheat given the opportunity, don't flame me though these are just my personal experiences of men. I have been in the army and worked mostly in male dominated environments so have extensive experience of random men and their relationship habits.

I asked DH last might if he was 100% sure that I wouldn't never cheat on him. After some thought he said no, but that he was 95% sure.

When I asked him why, he said that there were things that happen everyday to people which might, God Forbid, happen to us. The death of a child, for instance, or a terrible accident causing severe injury to one of us. Even redundancy, loss of our house, or other more minor misfortunes. No-one can say, with 100% certainty, how they will react to such happenings. They might, perhaps, lead to a previously abstemious person turning to drink. Or a cautious, sensible person escaping to high-octane sports. Or maybe, an absolute, dyed-in-the-wool, faithful person having an affair.

As others have said, no-one can predict the future.

No-one can truly know the depths of another person's heart and mind. To claim otherwise is beyond arrogant, almost as if their partner has insufficient will of their own.

What DH did say, however, and what I agree with, is that it wouldn't necessarily be a dealbreaker for us.

However, as with everything, one cannot be 100% sure of that, either.

Shodan-a most excellent post!

"No-one can truly know the depths of another person's heart and mind. To claim otherwise is beyond arrogant, almost as if their partner has insufficient will of their own."

Shodan, I COMPLETELY agree. This is what I was trying to say earlier. And I agree with you DH, it is life events as well as inner changes that you can't predict. You can be very, very sure of something. But in my opinion, only fools posses certainty... About anything. It's like saying you are all-seeing, all-knowing and more wise than the rest of the universe put together. Cringe!

Malificence You're a breath of fresh air and you're wasted on this thread, what a bunch of bitter cynics. I agree with the values you have and I have similar with my DP. I thank my lucky stars I have a DP whom I trust 100% and whom I know won't ever cheat on me. It's just a shame that some other posters cannot accept that some women actually trust their men.

TheBreastmilksOnMe- you seem to be labouring under the misapprehension that trust equals a guarantee that you won't be cheated on.

It doesn't.

I trust my DH. I hope he won't be unfaithful. But neither he nor I can guarantee that, given that we are not clarvoyant, and that we are human beings capable of making mistakes.

take a look at the relationships here and all over the bloody internet.

They nearly all start off from the "I thought my dh would NEVER cheat on me..."standpoint.

For goodness sake acknowledge the possibility, however unlikely

We have experienced miscarriage, death, loss of jobs etc but that doesnt mean that you run in to the arms of someone else. Isnt the whole point of the marriage ceremony till death us do part through richer/poorer, better/worse. Obviously people dont seem to value their vows anymore.

I know marriages that have had one of the people disabled for life but did their husband cheat? no of course not because you marry for better for worse. You are highly likely to experience very harsh life problems throughout your life (but marriage is for better or worse). I see my granparents and parents are right when they see modern couples dont value their marriage vows in the same way.

so supposing your life in marriage is worse, worse, worse - you just put up and shut up because you promised, right?
shame the women don't promise to obey anymore, tut

I alway thought my DH was never going to cheat and always said he was the only person I have ever had a relationship with that I trust 100%, well that was until last year he cheated on me with an ex for over 3 months. He said he was ill and not himself, I had PND and never thought that sleeping with an ex would help my mental health. It broke my heart as I felt so embarrest and stupid. I now think after all the news about celebs cheating and what I have been through I really fell that anyone is capable, man or woman. I'm really sorry but its the way I feel. Still dont trust DH but am taking steps to make my life my own by getting out more, making friends and being in a relationship is nice and I do love him but is not the end of my world if he did it again as I'm worth more than that. If he did he would go maybe not in one peice and I think he really is capable of it now hes done it once. Ive lost my family over the decision of staying with him but we have been together 14 years and have 4 children. I will hope when my DD grows up that she has a life for herself and doesnt relay on any man to make her happy. Opps I sound very hurt sorry but its just the way feel.

first time I have posted in this topic,
in answer to the op
YES
I know he would never cheat on me, and I would never cheat on him

what a child dies or one of you gets a serious injury so then you go off and cheat? Im sorry I am never going to agree thats right. I know many couples close to my heart that have been through stuff like this and thankfully they have the decency to support each other and look out for each other not goin out and having sex with someone else.

deluded

My DH was in a near-fatal accident a few years before we met. He wasn't expected to survive. He had a serious head injury.

That diagnosis changed to one where he would survive, but would never live a 'normal' life.

His mother said to me recently that she still finds it hard to believe that he is married, has a child and holds down a good job.

But he has changed. He had to relearn all kinds of things, from how to interact socially to how to speak.

For quite a while he did strange things that a 'normal' person wouldn't do- walking around butt naked in the hospital, for instance, and claiming that he was a world famous golfer.

My point with this anecdote is to demonstrate that sometimes circumstances conspire to make a person act in a way that would previously have been unthinkable to them and their loved ones.

It is that which makes stops me asserting that infidelity would never happen to me.

And I would dispute the idea that I take my marriage voows less seriously simply because I allow for the fallibility of human nature and the vagaries of life in general.

I admire the people who have suffered from infielity, whether male or female, who have been able to forgive, put it behind them and rebuild their marriages from Ground Zero. That takes some strength of character and leap of faith...

"If you love the person your with then why wouldnt you want to be together all the time." But do you not love yourself as well? I need (a lot of) time alone. I would find it very off-putting if someone wanted to be with me all the time. Oh, I dunno, different strokes etc. Maybe all the 100%ers just have very ugly partners.

JOKE

said

sunshine2009, you are spouting a load of smug, bitchy nonsense. Amongst other such nonsense you imply that infidelity is the fault of the woman for choosing that particular man and that somehow those women aren't taking their marriage vows seriously. FFS woman, you are a loon.

You need to move out of Smugsville and live in the real world where you'll see it's not so black and white.

I am saying I would never cheat no matter what happens yes. I know for a fact I wouldnt as I dont like going out and am a homebody. For your information I have long blonde hair, size 8, curves in the right places woman. Looks is definitely something I dont have to worry about hence why I have such a sexy husband ;). I have time alone such as now I have been up for 2 hours on my own before the kids are up pottering around else nothing would be tidy as I wouldnt have time to do it. My husband leaves the house 6am 5 days a week and I get up before work to see him.

I do this every morning so have a lot of time to do the cleaning, enjoy the mornings alone before the kids are up, I am also out of the house 40 hours a week at work/volunteering position. My husband is out at work 48 hours a week at his job. Its just the time left over, we always spend together you may think it is weird but it isnt really. I also have a 2 year old and a 4 year old on top of all that why waste my spare time with friends when I could be with the family? I have also just finished a degree and am due to start postgraduating training in May through work. I just dont want to go out to places and get drunk with friends and all my hobbies are things we do together other than that (Fishing, walks, beach trips, family events, day trips, going on the wii etc).

My husband doesnt believe in sex before marriage either and waited 2 years before he could have sex with me. If you have that sort of restraint you arent the type to be out cheating or being involved in other relationships. Same goes for me.

Not a waste of time but I want to spend all my time with my husband and as its precious and my husband is out 48 hours a week. I put my husband and the family first because there is no one I would rather be with being with anyone else would take away from family time so I dont want to do it. I see people throughout the day at work but evenings and days off are family time.

I think I am lucky that my husband wants to spend both days off coming out and about with me and the kids. He dos it cause he wants to not make excuses and go out to golf or drinking or something. It is actually what we would both like to do and I am glad of that.

Shodan - totally agree with you and your DH, and I would hope anyone anyone who thought it through calmly & clearly would come to the same conclusion - there is no certainty and it is not cynical to acknowledge that one can't ever predict the future 100%.
(Bibbety - sorry missed your post re sohathappensnext )

It must be wonderful being perfect...