Are you 100% certain your dp/dh would never cheat on you?

[thesteelfairy2]

if you are why do you feel that way?

I am truly interested in the answers to this seeing as Mark Owen has joined the long line of celebrity cheating ar*eholes.

Also when I first met my ex h I would have bet a £million that he would never cheat on me. Even though it was in my face I trusted him implicitly because of all the things he said and his reactions to other peoples infidelities.

I personally am of the opinion that all men cheat given the opportunity, don't flame me though these are just my personal experiences of men. I have been in the army and worked mostly in male dominated environments so have extensive experience of random men and their relationship habits.

Good for you sunshine, don't let anyone tell you it's a bad way to live, it's the best way to live imho.

To the OP (as I haven't read the whole thread), Yes, I can say I know for certain. He has had plenty of opportunity, he used to work away a lot etc, but never did. It just isn't in his psyche, or his morals. I can more imagine him telling me that he had fallen out of love with me (not that I think this will happen), but he would do this ebfore seeing someone else. His parents were childhood sweethearts, they had literally known each other since about 1yr old, and his mother is still mourning his father. All of his, and my family are still happily married and he has no comprehension of cheating...he just wouldn't get it, it wouldn't enter his head.

I know it is hard when you have been hurt so badly, but not all men are immoral bastards and I don't believe my husband is just waiting for the opportunity.

malificence 'It really irks me when people insinuate there is something wrong with people like myself and sunshine2009'

Quote from Sunshine2009
'...cant understand why anyone would want to do that if you were in the same house together?'

it cuts both ways.

for to add not spend time together. Well dh likes sports ALOT. I respect that, he watches downstairs I will watch TV in bed, and scoff my sweets without sharing. I do leave him the toffee not really fussed about them.

cant spell or read at the momemnt. It should read forgot to add.... and 'A LOT'

lol at daftpunk's priest!! i quite fancy those at least two of those 3 travelling singing priest tenors! They are good looking and they are priests! It must be all a cover.

malificence 'It really irks me when people insinuate there is something wrong with people like myself and sunshine2009'

Quote from Sunshine2009
'...cant understand why anyone would want to do that if you were in the same house together?'

it cuts both ways.

It doesnt irk me though everyone just has different opinions on things. If everyone was the same it would be boring.

I also don't think by that I am smug because I think this. I am truly lucky to be with my DH, he is amazing and I am grateful for him every day. And I know he feels the same about me. We just 'fit'. We don't tend to do much without each other either, bar the odd occasion. I don't feel 'stifled' by this as was mentioned earlier, if either of us wanted to head out without the other there would be no problem or even contemplation of a problem, it just isn't something we do. We do sit in different rooms sometimes, but only cause we're studying/working and need own space for this.

Mal I'm not saying my mum is bad...are you insinuating such? I often wish I had her life.

sunshine it would be boring - we agree on that

I feel all those things about my dp and for various reasons think he wouldn't cheat but have to say no one can know someone 100% and thank god dp still surprises me all the time

Quote from sunshine2009 "if you get with a man and he wont marry you before kids, doesnt help with the children, cheats etc or anything like that then its your fault as you picked that kind of man."

Personally, I'm glad I'm nothing like you.

thanks soupdragon

Well my "offspring" is just fine thanks.

She's away at Uni, socialising and doing everything else that normal students do, our insular marriage has provided the stability and confidence she has in herself and we are the first port of call for her and her friends when they need anything.
We've prepared her for independant life very well and she will never accept second best from anyone, she's always been taught that it's better to be alone than in a sub-standard relationship.

I would find it odd for a woman not to think her partner belongs to her, my husband certainly belongs to me, and I belong to him in entirity, there's only one other person in his life as important to him as me ( and vice versa ), our daughter.

Not 100% sure I would never cheat, let alone DH. I haven't seen him for 7 months, he could have slept with hundreds of women in that time.

His job leaves him plenty of opportunity and he's got form, not in our marriage (that I'm aware of), before we got together.

I have plans in place should he (or I) do something that we can't come back from, this seems to shock my 'old romantic' friends who seem to be completely trusting of their partners and feel we must have something missing in our relationship.

Well y'know each to his/her own. I am thankful that I have proven to myself that I am able to cope alone without a man. I know that it will provide a stable basis for my kids. As will the amicable relationship I have with my soon to be ex that cheated on me.

'I would find it odd for a woman not to think her partner belongs to her'

That statement gives I the creeps.

Since I was able ( and would still be able ) to function perfectly well for anything up to 12 months at a time without my husband around, my daughter has been taught complete independance. It would actually be my husband who would struggle with day to day life on his own, he wouldn't have a clue how to pay a bill or how much money was in the bank or what savings we have, I am in complete control of our household, in fact I've had to put all important information in a file in case anything should happen to me, that's the level of trust he has in me.

My daughter actually ended her 2 year relationship before she went to Uni, hardly the action of someone who needs a man to complete her.

I don't need my husband to "complete" me, I'm just very lucky that he does.

I wrote I dont go to the toilet with him lol. I meant we spend our time in the same room of a night and dont see the point in being apart as we havent seen each other during work hours so all our time together is precious. I wouldnt want to waste it with anyone else. My life isnt built around a man its built around family this includes our kids, parents, his parents, granparents, cousins etc.

We see other friends and neighbours at social gatherings and I volunteer for a charity whilst my husband works on top of my job so see a lot of people through that. I am only 26 but just like things this way. As I said before its how families do things in many places abroad its just here we live in a more individualistic society. Family comes first to me though no matter what.

In respense to insular familial enclosure my kids are in a nursery 20 hours a week as I work there so are with friends all day. I want my kids to realise I do this job in order to help other kids (it is a centre in a socially deprived area) and want them to see it is important to help others in the local community to. I definitely believe in helping others and being part of a wider community. Its just I dont really go places when my husband is off work without him as it wouldnt be the same without him there.

I think that we need to be aware that relationships manifest themselves at many levels of 'success'. At this point I am happy that my kids have parents who love them immensely and will provide stable separate households, despite infidelity causing a break up in the marriage.

Quote from sunshine2009 "if you get with a man and he wont marry you before kids, doesnt help with the children, cheats etc or anything like that then its your fault as you picked that kind of man."

Personally, I'm glad I'm nothing like you.

In response to this I do often believe that issues are there from the start. Maybe this wasnt worded well but if a man doesnt respect you enough to help round the house or take responsibility for things then you probably shouldnt have kids with him. I do not think its fair to children who are brought in to the world if the parents havent been together for a while and I also personally dont think its fair to have kids without being in a stable marriage. You can argue it to the cows come home but statistics prove stable married families are better for children.

If you dont have sex before marriage, get married, wait a few years to have kids etc it is much less likely that the person will be the type to cheat or take responsibility.

Women on here might say they dont need a man around but their child definitely does. There is nothing wrong with a family needing each other be that husband and wife or mum, dad and child.A child can function without a mum or a dad but everything should be done to prevent this from happening. How often is it you see people having kids not being married and only having known each other five minutes? Even when they are married how often do you see individuals putting their own interests before that of the families? You should put all your effort in to family time and marriage for your children imo.

what statistics?
I never heard such a lot of bull in my life

I was married for 16 years and my kids are 5 and 2 years old. Their father is extremely capable, often gets them up in the morning bathes them and puts them to bed. Still does (he comes to the old marital home to do this). Still cheated tho'.