Are you 100% certain your dp/dh would never cheat on you?

[thesteelfairy2]

if you are why do you feel that way?

I am truly interested in the answers to this seeing as Mark Owen has joined the long line of celebrity cheating ar*eholes.

Also when I first met my ex h I would have bet a £million that he would never cheat on me. Even though it was in my face I trusted him implicitly because of all the things he said and his reactions to other peoples infidelities.

I personally am of the opinion that all men cheat given the opportunity, don't flame me though these are just my personal experiences of men. I have been in the army and worked mostly in male dominated environments so have extensive experience of random men and their relationship habits.

I know there are certain things that I will never do.

1. jump out of a plane, not for £1 million.

1. have another dog, losing ours recently was far too painful to ever go through again.

1. Get drunk.

1. have sex with anyone other than my husband, ever.

I've not acted "out of character" in nearly 44 years, and I don't expect to ever do so.

I'm certainly not missing out on life, my life is full of happiness and love and joy and excitement.

I can totally believe that others have good reason for trusting their dh/themselves 100%.

I can trust myself 99%; I wouldn't go further than that.

I can trust dh about 95% not to do anything, and about 99% to tell me if anything did happen. He once did go a little bit too far towards trying to kiss a colleague, and confessed it within a few days. I would be devastated if he were unfaithful, in any way. But it would not necessarily be the end of our relationship.

Yes I'm sure I have been affected by my father eventually being unfaithful to my mother and their divorce, but tbh I think his affair was a symptom of what had become an unbearable situation, rather than the original cause of the break. The quality of a relationship over time is what makes trust and fidelity IMO, plus character when the chips are down. Which is why I am sure that people like Malificence are right to trust their partners, I think the quality of their relationship sounds amazing.

However, the thing about it being someone's fault if they choose someone who cheats... I think anyone who typed that kind of comment should have a long hard think about their attitude to other people.

????????

I am stopping, I'm going to work.
Feel free to discuss how mental/ deluded / brainwashed I am .

According to my priest, even if you look at someone and have any sort of sexual feelings for them you have committed adultery...

I have committed adultery about 10,000 times in my life...I am happy.

If you'd asked me a couple of years ago, I would have said I'd be 99% sure that he wouldn't cheat. "Just not that kind of guy". Sure, I know people can end up in circumstances they don't necessarily expect and can be tempted. BUT, I still thought, naively, obviously, that he wasn't that kind of guy.

I was wrong! TBH, cheating itself not nearly so bad as a year of lie after lie about the whole thing.

i trust myself 100% never to cheat on dp

i trust dp 99% that he would never cheat on me

I dont know anyone who knows everything about me so cannot imagine that how I could know everything about someone else.

well said, said

sowhathappens next did not want your post to go unacknowledged, hope you are okay. Your situation is so relevant to this can't believe people are ignoring it to spout about their own 'perfect' men nad marriages . Would be very interesting to re-vist this thread in say five years time and see if they are still so smug. Like a previous poster I work in a company with about even numbers of men and women - very pressured environment, and several of those devoted married men and fathers have a 'work shag buddy' (yicky)- interestingly the women involved tend to be single.Everyone knows @ work - wonder how many of their wives suspect, as all the contact is perfectly explainable - lots of reasons to be in hotels for work

The only smug people on the thread are those who said others were to blame for choosing their unfaithful men.

I don't find Mal smug. I may, personally, think she is naive to think she knows 100% about her DH but I do not hope she finds out otherwise. I hope she is right.

Awful suspicion Malificence is actually my Mum.

I am 100% sure too - not because I own my DH or believe I know him completely but because we have been through stuff in the past years when I have basically kept him alive and he relies on me so very much for everything. I can't be blamed for having no idea my future held these challenges when we first married just as those who have had a cheating partner can't be blamed for not predicting that.

Maybe if I had heard someone else say that they knew their DH wouldn't cheat because he relied on them too much I'd have thought it sounded stifling but he's alive and here for our DCs so I choose to be happy about that.

I would prefer he was well even if that meant he needed me less and was meeting women through work and at some risk of an affair. In that situation previously I was still 99% sure as he's very straight where morality issues are concerned but I wasn't 100%.

100% certainty....it's a dangerous thing imho...about anything.

Excuse me, Mrs GofG

I acknowledged sowhathappensnow's post too.

I still stand by what I said. We dont drink, didnt have sex before marriage, dont ever go nightvlubs, night outs, we dont even spend any of our time at home in seperate rooms. Not because we dont trust each other but why would you want to? We are best friends and I wouldnt be able to enjoy myself if he wasnt there with me. I suppose it depends how you were brought up and what you like doing but my parents were the same (and still are and have been together since 15 not late 50s). They dont want to do a lot outside the family and neither do we.

'we dont even spend any of our time at home in seperate rooms'

Even the bathroom?

and you NEVER have evenings out

We have evenings out together but not seperately no. We go bathroom on our own obviously (lol) but I mean we wouldnt have a tv in the bedroom as it would be something that would keep us apart and cant understand why anyone would want to do that if you were in the same house together?

My parents never go out without each other either and havent since they met in their early teens.

Soz I realise what you mean now. I mean we wouldnt ever go out on a night out or evening apart unless we were together or my husband goes to the gym with my dad and his dad other than that no, never.

sunshine2009 - Dont take this personally but you may not be the best advert the side you are arguing....

It really irks me when people insinuate there is something wrong with people like myself and sunshine2009. If we are happy with the way we choose to live, that's all that matters, surely?

Sunshine, we are almost exactly the same, (apart from the sex before marriage ( we had lots) and the drinking , we do like a nice whisky ).

If you love the person your with then why wouldnt you want to be together all the time. I love my family and family occasions. I love the fact that all our extended family meets up every week and we do things as a big group. I like it this way as there are no divorces or conflict not like a lot of the people I work with who are still messed up about their parents divorce now and say it has given them relationship issues.

I would hate to have to live like that. All we are doing is the same as countries abroad where families still matter and they all live as an extended family. My husband works with my dad as well so he also has family when at work. I wouldnt have it any other way.

Thanks malificence and I do have some drink like a couple of glasses of wine etc. I meant we dont go out and get hammered and fall all over the place down town. I wrote that in a rush trying to open letters at the same time lol.

I love my dp but he has just gone out to a gig and I have poured a glass of wine and am watching rubbish tv Bliss!