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Original poster

ive lied. how do i sort it out

151 replies

totallovefool · 01/03/2010 18:47

I had been seeing this man for about 5 months on and off.
He contacted me a couple of weeks ago and we got talking.

I told a small lie, which is seems has changed everything, and based on that he wants to give it another go.

I didnt intentially lie, i thought it was harmless due to the on/off nature of our relationship. I never expected to talk to him again, let alone for this to happen.

So, now there is this big fat lie in the way.
Ive been avoiding it, or being vague for the last few weeks. But, i feel so guilty. I cant lie to him anymore, especially if he wants to give it a go. Id love to give it a go. I love him.
But im almost sure, if i tell him the truth that will be the end of it.
but i cant fix the lie.

i dont know what to do.

OP posts:
EcoMouse · 01/03/2010 19:00

So, is it a "small lie" or a "big fat lie"?

TheArmadillo · 01/03/2010 19:03

I think you do know what to do you just don't want to do it.

Tell him.

Monty100 · 01/03/2010 19:03

Go on Total, spill.

There's lies and there's lies, iyswim.

DuelingFanjo · 01/03/2010 19:04

if it's a lie which makes someone choose between wanting to be with you or not then that sounds like it's pretty big and also that he might be pretty superficial.

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:04

well, i thought it was a small lie. that it didnt matter.
its a stupid lie

it was about something i said i did
which i did do, but i sort of exaggerated about 500%.

i didnt think it mattered at all, or would never have lied. i know its bad to lie. after doing a bit of careful questioning, it was that which made him want to give it a proper go.

OP posts:
Monty100 · 01/03/2010 19:06
ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 01/03/2010 19:08

You have to tell the truth then and give him the choice. I can't imagine what it is... but if it makes that much difference you must tell him.

FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 01/03/2010 19:10

You sort it out by telling the truth or else your relationship is truly built on a lie.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 01/03/2010 19:12

oh fgs tell us then we can judge accordingly

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:14

i know ive got to tell him

i just dont want to.

beacuse i know what will happen.

is there anyway i can do it and spin it posivitley, seeing as i sort of did do it.

just not as much as i said.

im not going to say what the lie was. but basically, he had promised to get me somethings i really wanted.

and we fell out.

i still wanted the items

so i brought a few of them. but not all.

when he contacted me, as a way to wind him up. i told him i had brough most of the things he had said he was going to get me.

it was stupid and i did not realise the implications of my actions.

OP posts:
FabIsDoingPrettyWell · 01/03/2010 19:15

Bored now.

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:15

and i know he is going to be fuming that i lied.

probably more angry at that that at the actual lie i think.

OP posts:
2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 01/03/2010 19:16

unless you are talking about drugs, I dont see how this can make him want to be with you. Or not.

Is it drugs?

Which makes him (and you) rather dubious.

heQet · 01/03/2010 19:18

so buy the other things yourself. You have them, he sees them, you forget about it.

It's not really a big lie, is it? You told him you'd bought some stuff you haven't bought.

And your relationship is based on you having those items?

What are they? s&m kit?

Sorry to be flippant, but really, it's not a big deal. Buy them. Then you are no longer lying because you've got them. Problem solved.

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:19

no

lol. its not drugs.

its actually a type of clothing.

see, i said it was a stupid lie.

and not exciting at all.

and yes, he is shallow if that is the thing that has changed his mind.

but hes said, its not what i brought. just the fact that i did it. that changes things.

which is why the lie is so bad.

OP posts:
heQet · 01/03/2010 19:21

No it's not. Don't be daft. Just go and get them.

It's fetish clothing isn't it? Now he wants to be with you cos you're doirty?

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:22

no its not a big lie.

is a small lie

its not based on having those items ( or if it is, he can get stuffed)

its that i wanted the items enough to get them myself.

which showed him that i was genuine and not messing him about which lots of other people have done.

i did buy some of the things i wanted. just not all of them.

like i said. stupid lie

OP posts:
2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 01/03/2010 19:23

Just get the rest of the clothes. You got some of them. Now get the rest and the lie will become a truth.

Question is, will you still want to BE with HIM? He did not get you these items, YOU did, and for that reason he wants to be with YOU. But???? But but.

heQet · 01/03/2010 19:23

yes. stupid lie. And pointless to worry about it. buy the other items and move on!

Monty100 · 01/03/2010 19:23
2010aQuintessentialOdyssey · 01/03/2010 19:24

You ARE genuine. You just did not get all. Dont get too hung up about it.

It matters not that you did not get them all. Maybe you changed your mind about some? Wanted to check out some other designs, so waited a little?

Original poster
totallovefool · 01/03/2010 19:24

yes - its fetish clothing.

damn you mn - clevered than i thought

thing is if it was a simple as just going and buying the items i would.

expect i spent the money on new carpets. and i would need to fine £2k pretty quickly.

Plus fetish fashion takes approx 4-8 weeks to arrive and im seeing him this weekend.

OP posts:
dittany · 01/03/2010 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ahundredtimes · 01/03/2010 19:25

So these are items that he wanted you to have?

And you told him you'd got them.

And now you've got them

he wants to

be with you

again?

Is that right? I'm rather enjoying your tone poem posts

Bleenherbe · 01/03/2010 19:25

Oh, run away. He sounds terrible beyond imagining