ive lied. how do i sort it out

[totallovefool]

I had been seeing this man for about 5 months on and off.
He contacted me a couple of weeks ago and we got talking.

I told a small lie, which is seems has changed everything, and based on that he wants to give it another go.

I didnt intentially lie, i thought it was harmless due to the on/off nature of our relationship. I never expected to talk to him again, let alone for this to happen.

So, now there is this big fat lie in the way.
Ive been avoiding it, or being vague for the last few weeks. But, i feel so guilty. I cant lie to him anymore, especially if he wants to give it a go. Id love to give it a go. I love him.
But im almost sure, if i tell him the truth that will be the end of it.
but i cant fix the lie.

i dont know what to do.

i totally agree with JV, just tell brian the truth and you'll get your answer. (which you will then ignore because you are a bit silly that way).

This is officially the strangest thread I've ever read on MN!

OP - why come here for advice? I suspect there are many places where you could get advice and opinions from those of a similar persuasion to yourself.

Tell him the truth - wouldn't that be the proper submissive thing to do anyway? You confess, he punishes you, everyone is happy?

Can you not wear PVC instead of latex...it's about a billion times cheaper. And you might even get a wearable outfit from it...

observe

And for the record ladies I am a Siouxsie Sioux wannabe not a complete sexual deviant for knowing that. Ok!?

You'll get your shoes cheaper here usually too...for future reference...

www.pennangalan.co.uk/Shoes

Why don't you just tell him that the quality was crap/it split/tore/they sent the wrong size etc etc so you sent it back and got a refund?

But to be honest, I wouldn't bother. He sounds more interested in your outfits than you.

And this always makes me smile. If you're doing the BDSM thing safely, with safe words and him knowing when to stop, then as the sub you are the one in control, not him.

Ignoring the massive latex-clad elephant chained up in the corner of the room, two things stand out for me:

1. He has been 'messed around' in the past (subtext being that you won't do that, no way, will do whatever it takes to prove yourself)- men who let partners know how much ex-partners 'messed them around' tend to be massive cunts have issues IME.

1. He will be angry you lied.

Don't attribute all of his behaviour to his sexual predilection. The BDSM community has dickheads in it too. Sometimes literally.

All of the above supposes any of this is real which, frankly, is doubtful. Unless he told you to post this and we're all part of the game?

I feel violated

Frankly, I find your behavior appallin. You should be ashamed of yourself. The world would be better of without scum like you. I'm sorry girls, but that's how I feel. I've been lied to, and it hurts,

I object to SGB telling somebody they are a Real Pervert (or rather Not A Real Pervert).

I am shocked!

I thought in her realm there were no Perverts, only a "Acceptable practice between consenting adults, whatever that may be"....

Any Fucker
I remember the thread you are talking about.
Vaguely.
Trollio???

yep, WFG

im not a troll and have not posted about this before.
im been on mn for years
and i remember
4
and the bat
and the tablecloth

solidgold, he has never said anything of the sort about me not being genuine. He hadnt said anything about me getting the things for myself at all.
I just wanted them and brought them for myself when i wasnt speaking to him.

and yes, when we started talking again i may have said something along the lines of ' i got my own latex, ner, ner ner'
beacuse im mature like that.

yes, his fetish is a major fetish. He told me that at the beginning. He also quite freely says hes difficult to be with and demanding and girlfriends find it difficult to cope with him
except i dont find that at all.seriously i dont. I have had enough drama in my life to choose to have anymore.

tethersend - yes, he has said a little bit about previous gfs. not a lot thought. Just that some women confess to love the latex and clearly dont, and just do it to make him happy, but that that quickly wears thin. or that some women say they like it and think they can change him when they cant. I think its good hes said that. hes always been upfront about what he wants as have i.
he will also be very angry i have lied. This is the point of the op. not the latex. The fact that ive lied will be pretty devestating on a relationship that is centered around trust.
and he will be hurt.

and i dont want to hurt him.

i could have posted this on a bdsm forum. but didnt. because its about the lie. not the other issues

if you have to overthink your life to this degree, then it isn't healthy

end of

but i dont have to overthink it.
Its just happens naturally between us.

im just in a stress as ive told a lie no matter how small or silly and i know that is going at least cause an argument. and at worse end things.

sorry, love but blurting out silly lies, worrying about his reaction, desperately trying to please him and seeking reassurance from a bunch of strangers is not "happening naturally" < shrugs >

TLF: From the point of view of someone with years of hanging out with perverts (that's what a lot of us call ourselves anyway, QUint ) this bloke does sound like a whanger, with his head up his arse. Can he laugh at himself at all?
And it's not healthy to be frightened of a partner's reaction, BDSMers or not. Can you frame your owning-up in such a way that it makes it sound like part of the game ie 'I've been ever so naughty, I want to confess and get a good spanking.'?

sgb

oh oh, SGB, I have a perfect eastername for you.

Going for SolidGoldBrass to SolidGoldBra to SolidGoldEggCup

[eager puppy emoticon]

If a lie as small as this ends things, then perhaps he's not 'the one' or after all.

Destiny doesn't tend to be thwarted by a lie about buying/not buying latex clothing.

(BTW, am ROLFing at the idea of a love of latex, much like the stuff itself, 'wearing thin after a while' )

I want an easter name.

We dont correct spellings ANY more. It is NOT done. It is not PLOTICALLY correct!. no no it, isnt. It aint.

I don't think the lie is the big issue - the big issue is that he ONLY changed his mind about having anything to do with you once he thought you posessed these items - soit is completely obvious where his only priority lies - fine if you are looking foR a f-buddy and have reason to feel safe with him, and secondly that he has such control over you that he has you terrified of lying - instead of you feeling that he would be able to laugh with you about it.

Because you're right, it is only a small lie, you weren't even 'with' him at the time, and anyone reasonable could understand a 'so ner' exaggeration to someone who had walked away.

he is playing games with you - which may all be part of it - fine as long as you UNDERSTAND what is going on and play your role consciously and willingly. .

I don't think it's going to sink in, Reality.

I pointed it out earlier and was ignored.

ANY FUCKER I remember that thread too! bells ringing here!
and ROFL at the hobble dress NICE