ive lied. how do i sort it out

[totallovefool]

I had been seeing this man for about 5 months on and off.
He contacted me a couple of weeks ago and we got talking.

I told a small lie, which is seems has changed everything, and based on that he wants to give it another go.

I didnt intentially lie, i thought it was harmless due to the on/off nature of our relationship. I never expected to talk to him again, let alone for this to happen.

So, now there is this big fat lie in the way.
Ive been avoiding it, or being vague for the last few weeks. But, i feel so guilty. I cant lie to him anymore, especially if he wants to give it a go. Id love to give it a go. I love him.
But im almost sure, if i tell him the truth that will be the end of it.
but i cant fix the lie.

i dont know what to do.

Bah bloody bold didn't work

this is about the third time I will type this phrase in as many days....

"when someone is telling you who they are...listen"

very good advice

lol @ your last sentence there Dittany.

Aye, I'll drink to that.

Whatever about the fetish gear....but you went out with him for 5 months and he will be angry with you...

Get a grip and don't accept his calls.

OP
Tell him the truth. And stop being a drama queen

I am baffled by this thread.

The bloke dumped you then suddenly his interest picked up when you said you'd bought 2k's worth of fetish gear? Am I understanding tho=is right?

He sounds a right charmer.

anyfucker -
'this is about the third time I will type this phrase in as many days....

"when someone is telling you who they are...listen"

very good advice

yes, that is actually very good advice. He has never held back from saying what he wants and quite freely admitts hes an arse.
I know that most of his pervious gfs have very quickly got sick of him and his demands.
the one gf he had for a few years and actually brough a house with. Well, he dumped her as apparently she thought that meant they could play ( and im quoting him) ' happy families' and that wasnt what he wanted.

yes, i had been seeing him for about 5 months. but its always been on and off due to the intensity of it all. or me wanting it to stop, or him wanting it to stop.
i do realise that it is probably not the most healthy or realistic relationship to be in. but i seem to be stuck on the rollercoaster of it all, its rather addicting i find.

im going to have to tell him before i next see him. All i can do is appolgise and expalin and see what happens. I expect he will get in a terrible mood and might stop talking to me for a while. But then i also expect at some point he will come back - as hthere are not that many people like us out there.

maybe if i manage to not talk to him for a while the spell will be broken? who knows?

would you like some more advice, tlf ?

take it or leave it...

but I would advise you to do the dumping (for good)

and mean it

if your prediliction is for minority stuff, then you need to widen your circle, join some more groups etc....not settle for this cock just because he is into the same as you

you think he is unique ?

he is a uniquely transparent and unpleasant person, I'll give you that...

find yourself a half-decent dom bloke. I'm not knowledgable about BDSM, but surely not all the blokes are controlling twats?

I thank god and all his seraphim that my life does not involve such issues that need to be worried about.

Or, this is some long time lurker who has a yearning to read Mumsnetters talk about latex fetishes and link to pictures of ballet boots.

As always agree with Anyfucker.

Am so in the can't be arsed category re fetishes and this shite.

I know GetOrfMoiLand..

I don't know where I would find the time or energy, for all this plotting and gameplaying...

in our house, the communication is time-saving and not open to stupid misinterpretations..

"fancy a shag, love ?..."

yep, that covers it

"Pull my nightie down when you've finished"

Yes, sexual endeavours easy to manage in my house, no need to spend £2K on clothes made from melted barbie heads, no need to buy me shoes which I can't walk in, no push me pull me rows, no fretting about sub/dom/rom/com whatever.

Yes, mundane perhaps, but simple.

Thank god.

TLF: There are lots of nice dom men out there. Pop onto LondonFetishScene (IC is home to, I'm afraid, rather more pompous head-up-arse doms than necessary), check out some BDSM social events - whereabouts in the country are you?
Because a relationship with a bloke like this, who is basically testing you to see how much shit you will eat and if you ever object will go 'I told you I wasn't nice', is not very good for you in the long run. It might be fun and challenging for a while but once you have DC or even a demanding job, being involved with a bloke who absorbs all your attention in wondering what he will do or say next, what he meant by the last wierd thing he did or said etc. is exhausting and not fair on anyone.

see ? even sgb agrees with me

There is a bell ringing.

It is ringing loudly.

Nearly as in

the phone, the phone is ringing,
.... la la la

team work,

the wonderpets, the wonderpets.

sorry. I am going a-digging.

so.....

this man, does he live in your area, or ?

lol at 'pervious girlfriends'.

Are you sure you're not fibbing?

Do you have kids totallovefool?
I just wonder how you manage to find the time to ponder all this whilst looking after a child. Can you pass on your time management skills please? I could use the time you spend thinking about latex on doing something like cleaning my blinds. Or ironing.

well my poor neglected child sits in her room quietly playing and making no mess. she only surfaces for food.

that is a joke btw.

Honestly. you can think and do things at the same time. cant you? i thought it was only men that had the problem with multitasking!

i generally dont spend ages thinking about latex anyway. Just this one problem. Same as people post all different kinds of threads asking advice/problem sharing or whatever. Doesnt mean they are all sitting about for hours doing nothing bar thinking about it.

I think this is my favourite thread of the day

FWIW, not that I have any experience at all in BDSM [prude emoticon], I think your options are to (a) say that the stuff was faulty and you sent it back or (b) admit the truth and face the fallout (which will basically involve him fucking off until you actually do buy the appropriate piece of latex, then coming back because he can't resist it, presumably).

Incidentally, is one meant to be able to move in the ballet boots? Or are they really just for lounging around looking insane sexy in?

I can totally understand why your partner will feel angry and betrayed. He seems to get through a lot of girlfriends, and kitting them out with £2k of latex each is getting very expensive (for some reason they don't seem very interested in wearing a sticky dress used by an ex-GF can't think why).

He finally thinks he's found a woman with her own kit, only for her to have been lying about the extent of her wardrobe. What a disappointment.

Seriously - think twice before investing too much in this relationship as I'm not sure he's interested understanding in your soul or your mind.

I wasn't having a go Totallovefool. Lets not turn this into a bun fight as you have the advantage over me with your wipe clean latex!
Joking aside, I was just curious as I thought the BDSM thing was a lifestyle choice ie you dedicate your life to it. Is that not the case? (excuse my ignorance!)

sounds like a match made in heaven