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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another woman fancies my fiancé

393 replies

Robsia · 28/02/2010 21:12

The week before my fiancé G met me (15 months ago, to put the time frame on it) he had a date with a girl called T who he met off the same dating site he met me.

He went back to her house afterwards and, to put it bluntly, she gave him oral sex.

Anyway, she was very taken with him (even talked marriage on the first date!) but he was less taken with her - found her tedious and boring in fact. When he met me, he never looked back. He gave her the excuse that he wasn't over his wife leaving him and was not ready for a relationship.

Since their first date, she has been ringing him daily at first, although it dropped to weekly after a while and is about monthly now. Most of the time he doesn't take the calls but occasionally talks to her out of 'politeness'. She still thinks there could be something there when he is over his break-up and the poor girl has no idea he is engaged to me!

This weekend we were at his house and he had gone out for a short while. The house phone rang and I answered it and it was a woman:

Her: Oh, I think I've got the wrong number.
Me: Are you after G**?
Her: Um yes.
Me: Oh he's just popped out for a bit.
Her. Oh. Er, I'll try again later then.
Me: Who shall I say called?
Her: Tell him it was T**.

I told him when he got home and he showed me a text she had sent him saying that she had rung the home phone and "someone" had answered and she hoped she hadn't got him into trouble.

Now - I have absolutely no doubt that he is doing NOTHING with this girl - I think she is the wronged (although a touch obsessive) party in all this by holding a candle for him all this time and he hasn't let her down gently.

Now that I have her phone number, I am tempted to call her and explain the situation as ask very nicely if she wouldn't mind not ringing my fiancé again.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Karmann · 02/03/2010 20:23

"I think the question that really needs answering is does she spit or swallow?"

Pmsl! Just choked on my wine!

"If it is all so boring to the majority why the hell do they keep posting and being insulting?"

Could ask you the same question. Let it go and enjoy your evening.

SpicedGerkin · 02/03/2010 20:23

So you've not told anyone at all about the engagement? After all it's no ones business.

BIGMAC2020 · 02/03/2010 20:50

AF & WW -acronyms are pretty universal on most forums, this one isn't unique
Karmann - I haven't said I was bored!

SG - those that need to know do know, so what's ur point?

aurynne · 02/03/2010 20:55

BIGMAC, I am so sorry to tell you... but the only reason this thread is still going is because the participants are having a high on making fun of you.

That said, I am now a participant.

Karmann · 02/03/2010 20:56

Never said you did. Re-read.

You're like a dog with a bone - let it go and enjoy your evening.

BIGMAC2020 · 02/03/2010 21:02

Aury - that's why I respond, gives them something to do

Karmann - What should I do then? Let a bunch of nomarks slag me off and not reply, btw I am enjoying my evening, thanks for asking.

Karmann · 02/03/2010 21:07

Yes, be the bigger person. You only judge them as nomarks since they don't agree with you.

No need to be facetious.

You are newly engaged and are enjoying your evening rising to the bait. Mmmm.....

pagwatch · 02/03/2010 21:10

I remember being newly engaged
Few of my fond rememberences were filled with endless self justification on a random website.

Karmann · 02/03/2010 21:15

Pagwatch .... now I just wasted the rest of my wine!

Janos · 02/03/2010 21:17

Yes, when entertaining a loved one at home, my favourite way to pass the time is by arguing on the internet with a bunch of people I don't know. I find it enriching.

BIGMAC2020 · 02/03/2010 21:20

Karmann - They are nomarks because they are rude, arrogant and self deluded about their importance in making judgements on me. I wasn't being facetious, I am having a good night. Contrary to popular belief men can multitask.

Does being engaged for 6 months stop you from defending yourself against an online slating?

Karmann · 02/03/2010 21:22

Now I need to go to 24 hour shop and get more wine! Anyone have dial-a-bottle number?

dittany · 02/03/2010 21:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnyFucker · 02/03/2010 21:28

the correct terminology is "no-mark"

Janos · 02/03/2010 21:44

I've just spent far too much time (ie about 5 minutes) wondering why anyone would, in all seriousness, give a flying feck what a bunch of strangers on the internet think of them?

I mean, wouldn't you get to a point where you think...meh, sod 'em, who cares..and just go on your way?

SolidGoldBrass · 02/03/2010 22:16

Janos: Not if you're a man who appears to think his cock will fall off if he lets a bunch of mere women have the last word....

BIGMAC2020 · 03/03/2010 13:35

SGB - nope

motherlovebone · 03/03/2010 13:41

BIGREDFLAG!

run Robsia!

iStickyTape · 03/03/2010 13:53

Yeah - I also say RUN Robsia! You'll have a lucky escape!

SolidGoldBrass · 03/03/2010 13:54

He'll be back, willy stapled on again...

displayuntilbestbefore · 03/03/2010 13:58

Jim Delligatti, creator of the Big Mac

pagwatch · 03/03/2010 14:13

Let us hope it is stapled in the right place this time

aseriouslyblondemoment · 03/03/2010 14:15

PMSL!!

KimiGaveUpStarbucks4Lent · 03/03/2010 14:18

I think he likes the attention.

Call her and tell her you have been together for 15 months and you are engaged, she deserves the truth, and clearly your DP is not going to tell her it

BIGMAC2020 · 03/03/2010 14:26

Well if you had bothered to read it then you would know that I already have, but that seems to easy doesn't it?

As regards attention I think is you bunch of self obsessed people that crave it by taking the piss out of someone who asks for your advice, not your opinions. Then proceed to denegrate everyone connected with it, whilst hiding behind your keyboards and monitors.

The only big red flag I would have is for the poor partners connected to some of you on here that feel the need to be so vitriolic and bile ridden to get your own kicks.

FTR I dodn't care if you are male or female, but it is apparent that some of you do.