He just told me he doesn't want to marry me!!

[xb2b]

Dp proposed in December. Bought me a beautiful ring. We have been together 5 years, have 2 children. Things are good, great i would say.
We chose a date, spoke to the priest, booked the church, viewed hotels, booked a reception. Ordered my dream dress with all accessories, looked in kilt hire shops for his outfits.
Chose flower girl outfits together, bought them. Had an engagement party, lots of family and friends. Asked the best man, bridesmaids. Told our parents.
Last night, he was in silence, went to bed early, when i went up i asked him what was up. He said, "i don't want to get married, i have been thinking and i am not ready, sorry" He then went onto saying he would LEAVE today. He hasn't went into work because he needs to pack. He hasn't started packing but will not speak to me at all.
Last night i asked why, he said " it's not you it's me"

What the hell? I am so confused. Things have been great i thought. I am so upset. I haven't slept, i can't eat. I have no one to talk to, he wont answer me.

Take care xb2b x

ohh xb2b

seems your xp is a twin of mine.. two weeks ago he did almost the identical thing and he's still trying to mess with my head.

I've got a thread called he's left me, if you want to read my story.

It does get a bit better each day, I promise x

You did the right thing telling him to shove his 2 weeks... what a complete twat. When you pack his things, you should put in a sachet of laundry powder & a set of instructions!

Hope you are holding up OK today, it's a shitty thing to go through x

I've been following this thread. How are you now, x2b2?

xb2b

that sounds like someone off Star Wars.
I was also wondering how things are today.

I know! Every time I read this thread, I kept thinking r2d2 for some reason and then realized I was seeing it incorrectly!
I hope things are ok today xb2b

damn it.

xb2b just to say we're thinking of you

Hello all! Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
I went to a friends on Saturday, we all played band hero over some wine, it was amazing, i think we played for about 6 hours straight, i didn't know it was possible.
Went to church twice on Sunday, done a full shop, bought some new yankee candles so the house has a new scent and i kept busy busy.
Yesterday i took my dcs to Edinburgh Castle. My ds loved it. We done a bit of shopping (does anyone know where the Catimini store went?) Got some lush bath bombs, came home and relaxed.
Today another day. I have the dentist, but little else planned. I have been keeping busy, and things are moving okay. I know it is probably a matter of time before it catches up with me, but we are ok just now.
I am ok for money really, i am on mat leave now, but need to figure out what will happen then if i decide to go back to work or now. But i will make sure he is putting something by for the DC's, in an account or something, so they can get it when they are old enough, instead of paying me anything.

OP, I think you need to get some legal advice here. I'm not an expert, but you need to be very careful about leaving him alone in the house. IF he gets the locks changed you are stuffed.

You should also get some advice on the child support issue too. It doesn't have to be a battle, he can just agree what he's going to give you for the children, but you should definitely speak to an expert.

You are being really brave though, good luck with everything.

I'm not leaving him here on his own. He took the kids on Saturday, that was all. As far as i know, he is sorting sleeping arrangements out at his parents house for his next day off, Sunday i think.
I let him in here on Sat night as he couldn't manage the kids and bedding the 30 miles on public transport to his parents. I think i done the right thing, i am not going to stop him seeing his own dcs, my ds has been sleeping in my bed and crying for his daddy, it is heartbreaking, i am not going to make it more difficult.

Xb2b you're doing amazingly well - did you have that new hairstyle in the end?

Re money for the children - don't accept this. Get him to pay it to you - if you don't need it to help with the childrens' expences, sort out an account for them yourself. At least this ensures that you know its happening and that, when the time comes, there will be a pot of money for them.

Were you thinking of returning to work? How does that work about paying mortgage...etc if two people with dc split up and they are not married? Sorry for the ignorance I have no idea how it all works here. I do hope you get it sorted, though xb2b, so you don't have financial worries, too. I can't believe how strong you are in all of this. And yes, fwiw I think you're handling it brilliantly. Especially to keep letting him have contact with dc - it's not ds' fault that your dp is ridiculous.

Yeah i got a new hair style, well i got a fringe and some layers cut in, they squeezed me in between appointments. Was all good. Then my friend dyed it a darker shade of red than usual. I like it.
I don't know how it will all work, but we only rent this place, so i don't think that is as complicated as it would be if we had a mortgage? Just before Christmas, say about November because our dd was born, we started looking for a place to buy, i am glad we hadn't found anything suitable yet.
In reality, it looks like i will be going from a family working mum, to a single mum on benefits. Hopefully not, i mean i have till June to decide whether i am going back to work. I might be entitled to some help? That is my mission for this week, to get that sorted out.

xb2b - are you in Edinburgh?
If you need someone to talk to, so am I
You are amazing!

Madame, you know who i am. I name changed. I am in Falkirk. Stoke Xplory, Maxi Cosi, etc etc.
I don't even know why i name changed either.

Oh it's you! So sorry you are going through this
He is an utter fanny you know, and he will regret what he's done, but that is his loss (and your lucky escape!)
You are still so young, enjoy the peace with your DC's, and you're welcome over here anytime.
Oh and you have nothing to be ashamed of. At ALL.

Thank you. He is already saying he regrets it, and I've had his mum telling me not to hold any of this against him. gah.
Do you know what happened to the Catimini shop btw? Has it been gone for long?

Be strong. You don't need a man in your life that is willing to become a father of 2 but then needs to go off and have two weeks to think about whether marriage is the right thing for him.

I've never seen the Catimini shop I'm afraid!
Where was it?
Anyway, whenever you feel wobbly, re-read this thread, its a tried and tested way of reminding you that you deserve so much better!

((((waves to MadameOvary and her alter-ego)))

I'm in Glasgow if you ever fancy a coffee - I think our boys must be about the same age - ds is 3 in May?

(((waves back)))

It was in Multree walk, maybe moved somewhere else. Someone will know.
Geordie, yes, my ds will be 3 in Dec. That would be lovely.

just read this whole thread. blimey what a twunt. so glad you didn't accept that 2 weeks to think nonsense!

good for you for getting on with things and being so strong. its good to have a plan - even if you do have to have benefits for a while at least it will give you time to think....don't know your job/career situation or anything but good options with childcare and funding etc for lone parents if you wanted to do college course or similar.

good luck x