Sorry, I had hoped to come back before the original thread disappeared off the first page, but then... nada.
As you may remember I had emailed a local counsellor, but H persuaded me not to make an appointment, but to save, money and neuroses, for Relate, which he absolutely promised to arrange.
So far nothing's happened... "I've been too busy, will do it tomorrow." "They're not answering the phone/email" "They said I had to confirm the date (poss this Wed) with you, now they're not answering again," are a selection of the excuses I have been given.
Now even asking about it causes snappiness and sulks.
I'm really tempted to say, if we're not in a conversation with a third party by Wednesday night, then that's it - you'll have confirmed our marriage is not your priority.
Can't decide if that's a fair ultimatum or not.
Still trying hard to keep almost-OM at more than arms length, but its so difficult when things are so tense at home.
And although I haven't come completely clean, I have told H that my vows are under considerable strain, but my intention is to make our marriage work if he'll work with me. No real sign of that yet, though