Signs that a man is a bastard and you should RUN

[electra]

Please post yours - this may help me! (following on from my other thread...)

Oh no abouteve don't think this is all men! Not at all. Too men men, for sure, and I think it's extremely interesting that so many follow this pattern - is it something to do with how we bring up boys? But all the stuff I hear on MN and in RL about men like this makes me really appreciate my DP - who is kind, caring and funny, and not controlling - and the other men I've known who are the same. They are the ones who deserve us - don't stand for less.

Too men men? I mean Too many men.

Road rage as others have said

Treads on your toes by accident all the time

Moody for no apparent reason (prob linked to something you said earlier that he didn't like)

Pampered by his mummy FUCKING HATE GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Asks questions about where you are going and who with

Nasty comments about your mates

Oh and gets hyper stressed when he loses something and asks you where you put it

Oh and aggression to animals especially dogs. Although there are exceptions to this

Or men who wind animals up and provoke them, and think it's funny when they get stressed. The worst are also like this with children.

Absolutely. My ex used to get my boys to playfight with him then get the hump when they wouldn't calm down

My ex expected children to behave like well-trained dogs -- speak when spoken to, fetch, heel... be devoted to the Master.

Eeuww, Math, my dad used to call me "Bad Dog" and send me to eat off the ground at the end of the garden.
TMI But therapeutic.

junglist1, did you mean that some guys who are aggressive to animals are lovely really??

When he sneers at the mention of your friends.

-A man who doesn't like/is threatened by a prospective partner having good friends, is a man to be very, very wary of.

Apologies if that's been done. Someone did this to me recently, albeit surreptitiously and it put my hackles right up!

Likes one of your friends & constantly suggests that they are a 'real' friend, whereas other people you socialise with are not.

The 'real' friend will be the one who is currently living on the other side of the globe &/or living through an emotional car crash of her own.

When you & 'favoured friend' do get together, he is excessively friendly & charming to her, whilst adoringly clinging to you. In fact, you & your friend will be lucky to get a moment without him fussing over you both

(I've been the favoured friend)

Has a worryingly underfilled diary at the outset of your relationship. Everyone should be occupied with other stuff to do, not just waiting for someone to come along.

Rarely has a good word to say about anyone and cannot cope with the concept of an objective discussion. Like "objective" not meaning "objectionable".

Will have a litany of disappointments in his past - always got coach sick on school trips, friends failed him, women let him down, work colleagues have always been useless and his employers have never given him credit for keeping the whole place running in the face of this corporate uselessness.

Is protective and territorial over things that are stupidly unimportant. So he'll be someone who has to sit in "his" chair in the sitting room and at "his" place at the table. Anyone making the mistake of thinking this sort of thing doesn't matter will soon learn differently!

Doesn't like animals.

Ooh yes, 'PoorMeIsm'.

Because he is the root cause of all of his problems but he doesn't have the awareness or ability (or spine or tools) to change it.

Bleurgh!

No I meant not all abusers are nasty to dogs. Tsk.

isolates you from friends and family, even if what he says about them is true.

takes money from you, or you somehow end up paying every time.

accuses you of looking at other men

doesnt like you having pets, or caring about animals (or anything except HIM)

asks you to do illegal things, eg say that you were driving when he has an accident, or claim benefits illegally.

introduces violence into the relationship with an expectation that you will find it normal. Tells you that he has a previous conviction for violence.

Excuses violence against his ex on the excuse that she was keeping his children from him (do I need to add that the violence probably came first???)

makes decisions for you

seems to have had unaccountably bad luck with all his previous relationships, as they wre all bitches who cheated on him.

Ooh, raven, spot on!
My friend lives in Italy. That never struck me until this moment.

GraceAgain -

None of your friends like him.

In fact even your cat takes an obvious dislike to him!

Feels sorry for himself.

You find yourself feeling sorry for him.

Oh yes, lowrib: "You find yourself feeling sorry for him."
Co-dependency on the horizon! Run!!

Has a lot of parking tickets and driving violations.
He is the only person who ever gets any work done wherever he works.

If you EVER see a look in his eyes and you think "That isn't him - he isn't in control - it's like he's not there" - no matter if it isn't directed at you. No matter how much he was "provoked" or how much he has had to drink. No matter how many times afterwards he swears he will never lose control like that again - run like the wind because a person who has rages like that is a human time bomb, and if that "red mist" is ever directed at you, you are in big, BIG danger.

I have got chills now just writing that

Great post Bertie. The rage would probably be directed at someone else initially, but it's only a matter of time before you are the target.

If he tells a racist joke or uses words like "spaz" on a date.

Or if he quibbles about the legal definition of rape.