Signs that a man is a bastard and you should RUN

[electra]

Please post yours - this may help me! (following on from my other thread...)

well the guy I was dating last year ticks several of these boxes

ASBM - was samename

And have just been pursued (verging on stalking) by someone at work and they also ticked several too.

If he's had a number of 'stalker's', if he talks about his mum alot, if he constantly moans that no one ever does anything nice for him and how people are horrible/nasty/wankers, if he spends too much time playing games on the computer.

oh HIM scl

Ta da!

Signs You're Dating A Loser

What everyone else has said.

And iff he thinks your orgasm is unimportant (and always your problem) usually translates to selfishness in the bedroom ie. you should just be grateful for his giant, manly cock.

Ever makes you feel worse about yourself than you did before.

Really though, ime, if you've ever thought that he might be a bastard, then he prob is, and you should prob leave. Women seem v.often to kid themselves about such things and make excuses, hoping that some fantasy will come true. In this regard we are a pretty daft breed .

Being tight with money. Often symbol of emotional meanness.

thanks elephants

Royalty - your description is my ex almost to a t!!! Hence now being my ex, poor woman who is with him now!

Agree with sweetnsour, this is such a difficult one, isn't it. I mean, I'm not a gold-digger, I don't need to be wined and dined but if someone is tight with ££ then he's a no-go. It's not about having a lot of it, just being generous. There's definitely a positive correlation between giving from your purse and your heart!

Royalty said: "His mates say things like, oh so you've tamed him have you?" Yeah.
And ... "You're safe with him, no-one else would have him!" ... "How did he manage to land you?" ... "you could do so much better, you know!"
Always said as jokes - but they're true!

My ex-h used to let me pay for everything, but I did once catch him pocketing the tip I'd left as well!

I'd also include things which, in the early days, might seem attentive and romantic, but later become possessive and controlling... like the turning up uninvited thing. Things like coming up with a supposedly spontaneous romantic date he just happens to spring on you the night you'd planned to go out with your friends.

Or insisting you can't possibly make your own way home from a night out so he'll come and fetch you. It's a tricky one, and I'd agree with what people have said about trusting your instincts. Because maybe he is just being thoughtful and concerned... or maybe he prefers to think of you (and wants you to think of yourself) as vulnerable and helpless, and he wants to be able to check up on where you've been, who you've been with, and what time you're coming home

My ex ticked everyone one of royalty's points too, and many many more on this thread.

I hope this thread is helpful to someone in avoid getting in too deep with one of these losers, even if just one woman walks away from a bad relationship because of this thread that would be brilliant.

Thanks everyone - very good food for thought.......unfortunately the last two people I had relationships with meet more than a little of this criteria.

When all your friends seem to dislike him, although there are sometimes no obvious reasons. Trust your friends!

Massive internet porn use.

Early on particularly, when he subtly tries to make you indebted/obligated to him, by giving/lending money or buying lots of/expensive presents. At the smallest provocation, he will often demand this back as well.

Rudeness to / about your family and close friends.

If you realise you're thinking twice about spending time with either because your boyfriend won't like it, get your running shoes on...

That's really good, Longtalljosie. XH never said I shouldn't spend time with friends, but criticised them a lot and always phoned when I was with them. I ended up, exactly as you say, "thinking twice about spending time with them".
He didn't like my family, either. But then, they are weird

Criticising other women particularly in areas where you are sensitive; i.e. you are sensitive about your weight and he says, "Isn't Lily Allen piling it on?".

Promising lots (materially and emotionally) and never delivering.

Blames you for everything - including the weather, buses not turning up etc

Ha Ha YKNC ! That is definetly my husband ! Also agree with -has NO friends - calls EVERY woman driver useless - wants you to wear short skirts so that he can see your legs - has NO ex-girlfriends - only wants you to be 'nice' to him.

The list goes on and on

that I'm wildly attracted to him.

Homophobia.
Boasting of drinking exploits.
Still bff with friends from teen years and no meaningful friendships formed after that.
Treating DV in his family as a laughing matter.
Accepting that spanking children is perfectly fine and did him good.
Criticising other people, especially friends of his, behind their backs.
Excessive neatness/ tidiness and telling you how nice it is that he's neat and tidy.
Dodgy relationship with mother or father or both; either love or hate.
Too concerned with following parental expectations.
Too concerned about rules; religiosity.
Blaming attitude.
No sense of humour or sense of perspective about things he has done or funny or unexpected things that have happened that are silly or dumb while with you and trying to impress you.
Evidence of 'black and white' thinking; no appreciation for grey areas.
Too full-on right from the start.
Compliments that are OTT for you.
Bad/ rude reatment of waiters, sales clerks, etc.
Saying things to you that are intended to show insight into your thoughts or personality -- this one is hard to express, but it feels something like being pinned down under a microscope.
Says himself he is moody.
Badmouthing your family or friends.
Middle aged ladies with their heads screwed on who have known him since childhood give you a funny look when you're introduced to them.
Can't pee in the presence of other men, has to use the stall in public loo.

Ditto everything said already. In addition to that:

Is contrary. Says one thing then does the opposite or have "firm beliefs" about relationship issues but own actions do not match so called beliefs.

He is critical of you and regards things that you like with ridicule and contempt such as the types of books you read, films you are into, academic interests.

He professes that he loves you and would sacrifice everything for you yet if you ask for a tiny favour he ignores you.

Insists that he has sex because he enjoys "pleasing the woman". Yeah right you selfish tosser.

Pressures you into behaviour that makes you feel uncomfortable and when you say no, he reacts angrily.

Charming when things go well but nasty and vindictive when he doesn't have his own way. (How was I ever acquainted to this character?)

Persistent liar and unreliable.

Evades responsibility and blames you if he hurts you.

Will not say sorry or disguise it as "I'm sorry that you feel that way but.."

Definitely telling if he is not friends with any of his exes or broke up acrimoniously with all of them.

Professes that you are "The One" and the only girl that he has ever cared about.

Does not seem to care about anyone but himself.

Does not empathise or sympathise with you about anything. If you are upset, he is sarcastic and says things like "You're not going to cry are you?"

Has no feelings of remorse or guilt.

Inflates his achievements and compares himself more favourably to other men, especially if there is competition when in reality he does not even qualify as being a gentleman.

Has a very crude sense of humour and expects you to be able to take a joke. There's a time and a place but he does not seem to know that he is making you feel uncomfortable.

The turning up at your house uninvited as a "surprise" happened to me once. I practically slammed the door in his face.

Plays mind games with you.

You tell him that you can't talk to him at the moment and he loses his temper and cuts you off like that. You breathe a sigh of relief thinking that he's finally taken the hint. He turns up at your doorstep and pretends that nothing happened.

In short, these are also signs that he is a serial bully, a narcissistic creep and a psycho. RUN FOR THE HILLS!

To OP. Thank you for starting this thread.

Beautiful, now, now Guess this all sums up men in general or are they just the ones I meet.

Seriously some very good points made and I think from reading all the posts there are the running themes that STAND OUT and us singletons should be wary off. Very good thread.