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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure how to put this but how do I get over thinking that hmmm, bodily fluids are eeeuurrgghhhh during sex!

108 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 02/02/2010 20:38

As I said, not really sure how to put it! Was going to name change but what the hell... I've not always been like this (I don't think) but I don't particularly like all the 'ickiness' of sex! By that I really mean when DH comes- I never go down on him anymore after nearly puking at the taste of it, I don't like the smell of it, the feel of it or the smell or thought of oral sex. (I love receiving it though which probably makes me the world's most selfish lover!). And most often after having sex I have to go and wash my hands, is that normal?!

I feel like I can't let go and I'm worried DH will feel put out at the lack of adventure he's getting! I've had 2 DC's (youngest 6 months) so that might be a factor?

Anyone else like this or am I a freak?! Any hints to help me get back into it all? I enjoy sex once we get going but I'm usually too tired (surprise surprise), maybe things will get better once DS2 sleeps better.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/02/2010 22:47

splosher ?

hobb, if you want to impart your creme egg-deviant behaviour, don't let me stop you

< pretends not to look >

hobbgoblin · 02/02/2010 22:49

Do they stil have that ad 'how do you eat yours?'

Whilst we are on this subject, can anyone source me squirty creme that has a non painful squirting tip?

nickschick · 02/02/2010 22:50

I once got my head stuck in the bars of our brass bed ......dh went to get 'help'(after hed finished the job hed started that put me there )....well he came back upstairs with a pot of goose fat thinking hed oil me out ....... ds3 for ages used to say in the supermarket 'isnt that from your bedroom?' and point to tescos finest goosefat.

sungirltan · 02/02/2010 22:51

theres a rude joke about creme eggs and i can't remember it dammit

af - i just went and read it all just to make sure - being new to this mn malarky etc

BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 22:51

ROFL

AnyFucker · 02/02/2010 22:52

sungirltan

Malificence · 02/02/2010 22:53

I headbutt our headboard all the time.

I've started putting a pillow up when DH flips me over!

sungirltan · 02/02/2010 22:53

well its like being the new girl at school innit!

AnyFucker · 02/02/2010 22:55

welcome to MN !

take everything you see with a huge pinch of salt...it's a blast

hobbgoblin · 02/02/2010 22:56

flips you over??!!

BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 22:59
KerryMumbles · 02/02/2010 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Malificence · 02/02/2010 23:05

Yes, flips me over - from on top of him to me on my knees.

BitOfFun · 02/02/2010 23:07

Mal, you're not helping me...

sungirltan · 02/02/2010 23:07

my dh used to bang on about how he liked messy stuff shag wise - then i got pregnant. i used to say ooh look my boobs are leaking etc and he'd cringe cringe cringe and i'd tease him and say 'but you LOVE gross body stuff!!!' men are fickle

KerryMumbles · 02/02/2010 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickschick · 02/02/2010 23:15

because i was holding onto the bed end (its a big old brass bed) i lay my head down a bit he thrusted and my head went through the bars .....he insisted on finishing .....and then moaned cos i didnt want goose fat on my head to oil me out of the spot ......he had to dismantle the bars.

KerryMumbles · 02/02/2010 23:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mampam · 03/02/2010 04:26

I too hate DH coming in my mouth, it tastes vile, so now DH only gets his willy sucked as part of foreplay.

I did once put a Strawberry flavoured condom on him and gave him a full BJ. No complaints from him that he was wearing a condom. Maybe my technique was better as I just went for it knowing that I wouldn't have his come in my mouth at the end of it.

nickschick · 03/02/2010 07:11

Kerry -noooooooooooooooooooooo !!!

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 03/02/2010 08:45

hobb - where is this creme egg story?

sungirltan - at head stuck.

i have to say it
for me.....

sex isn't fun unless its messy

one of my favourite parts of the activities is deciding where to deposit the spunk

its the symbol of a job well done to completetion

InmaculadaConcepcion · 03/02/2010 09:22

nickschick

KerryMumbles · 03/02/2010 10:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DONTtouchMUMSspecialJUICE · 03/02/2010 10:19

the mouth is an accepted place of deposit

ShowOfHands · 03/02/2010 14:14

Oh sweet Moses.

This is what I'm talking about.

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