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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Oral sex...advice needed [blush]

164 replies

truoddsox · 04/01/2010 16:55

Sorry for the graphic topic but I really want some advice.
DP and I have been together for nearly 4 years, and this is something I've never "given" (for want of a better word) him. I'm a bit shy when it comes to initiating anything sexual, which he says is silly as he's always up for it and enjoys what I do.
Anyway, I feel bad for not doing it but I just don't know how to initiate, I'm worried about hurting him/gagging etc. Can anyone offer any tips/advice?
BTW - he doesn't force the issue or even mention it - this is just me wanting ro "reciprocate" occasionally, iyswim.

OP posts:
MitsubishiWarrioress · 06/01/2010 22:43

Hmmmmm.... NO!!

solo · 06/01/2010 22:59

Creepy is not the description I would use...

pottybutnice · 06/01/2010 23:00

okay, all I am trying to say is that my kids read some of the stuff on here and maybe - it is a bit - creepy. I don't see why everyone needs to talk about it so much. I don't know, it just strikes me as - a bit pervy - why the need to talk about it all - why not just log onto some porn site or something....I mean, if you want to do it - then do it - if you want to get off on it all - well okay, but .....a bit ....creepy....?

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 23:02

Why would a factual and informative thread (albeit a bit flippant at times) be more creepy than a porn site?

I'd much rather get info about sexual matters from mumsnetters, than some creepy porn star tbh.

Mamazon · 06/01/2010 23:03

it is a site that is aimed at parents. if you wish to allow your children to read the site then it should be your responsibility to censor what you think they should or shouldn't read.

its not creepy for adult women to discuss sex. sex isn't wrong you know.

thelunar66 · 06/01/2010 23:03

Well I think it's a fab thread. Given me renewed hope

Mamazon · 06/01/2010 23:04

and the fact that these tips are given by real women who do these things to their partners. not porn stars who are paid to pretend to enjoy whatever they are told.

i think you need to untwist your knickers long enough to get laid. you might lighten up a bit

solo · 06/01/2010 23:04

What Mamazon said.

Malificence · 06/01/2010 23:04

Why would children read an adult relationship board and even if they do, what is wrong with them learning that sex is fun and nothing to be ashamed of?

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 23:05

LOL there was I trying to be diplomatic and Mamazon comes along and lays it on the line...

AnyFucker · 06/01/2010 23:07

my children are not allowed anywhere near MN

they would be very far from interested anyway...how strange

solo · 06/01/2010 23:07

Well, the bit about being a site for parents anyway!

pottybutnice · 06/01/2010 23:09

I think it is all the snigger snigger stuff that is a bit creepy - and also if you have children it isnt that great when they realise that all their friends' monthers are getting off on gossiping about sexual techniques.

You know - you kind of want your children to form adult relationships that are not necessarily to do with how you handle a c*

It's all rather - purile.... sorry, but the snigger, snigger stuff is just so - adolescent...

BrahmsThirdRacket · 06/01/2010 23:10

Someone asks for advice, so we give it. I don't really see how it's creepy, unless you think sex is creepy. It's 100% real though (excluding trolls) which is the best thing. No one has any ulterior motive.

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 23:12

Oh yes but we're british, we have to snigger when sex is mentioned.

Or even pants.

AnyFucker · 06/01/2010 23:13

get over yourself potty

I don't gossip about sex in front of my children...do you ? Why would they "realise"?

Your repressed attitude sounds creepy to me...

thelunar66 · 06/01/2010 23:14

at 'some porn site' being less creepy than MN!

solo · 06/01/2010 23:20

This is the site where I get to reminisce about my past sex life. It's the only action I get that isn't on my own iygwim ,even if it is just reading about it. I certainly wouldn't get my kids involved in MN. It's my thing!

Malificence · 07/01/2010 09:59

Great sex is funny and filthy and good for you!
I'm not "getting off" on anything - if any of my (yes, quite explicit) offerings can help someone younger and not so sexually confident, so much the better - I wish there would have been advice freely available like this 25 years ago when we got married.
I would have got a fabulous sex life much sooner, I didn't have an orgasm until my mid twenties and didn't have a really fantastic sex life until my 40's.
Talking about the positive side of loving sex (and how to enjoy it) within relationships can only be a good thing for children to learn.

Pottybutnice has the "creepy" viewpoint from where I'm sitting.

purplepeony · 07/01/2010 12:06

I don't think it's creepy or even porny- frank, yes.

But one thing that does make me gag is how so many posters are so keen to tell us they "are the best" at XYZ. It's also become a bit competitive/one-upmanship-ish - and a bit teenage-ish at the same time.

A little more modesty and a little less self-confidence wouldn't go amiss!

JaneS · 07/01/2010 12:37

Wow, this thread is a goer, isn't it?

Brahms - could you please get yourself a column in the paper soon? Your writing does make me grin (could be the subject-matter of course)!

MitsubishiWarrioress · 07/01/2010 13:20

It's not just the thread that is a 'goer' by the sounds of it!

I don't know if I'm the 'best' at anything but if marks out of 10 were given for enthusiasm and putting my heart and soul into something I might do OK..

I don't think the thread is creepy. I wouldn't be as revealing about personal details as some of the posters but I do have a good giggle (which to me is as much a part of a healthy sex life as anything) and whilst it isn't something I discuss in RL, I do admit that this is something that I enjoy and not for the simple pleasure of 'giving' but because I like doing it a lot.

I am probably guilty of being somewhat 'adolescent' in my attitude to it all but that is cos of my raging hormones.

Funnily enough I don't give a great deal of thought to my DC's budding sex lives...they can figure THAT one out for themselves, (apart from the stuff they need to know). And they don't come on MN.

Back to work....

JaneS · 07/01/2010 13:31

pottybutnice - your kids read this?! For the love of God, why? I can't imagine the threads about episiotomy and so on are terribly good for them!

This is a grown-up forum. This thread is nothing like as 'creepy' as, say, the 'sex advice' in Cosmo. It's much creepier to leave someone not very confident wondering where the heck she stands, surely? Sometimes a bit of genuine info is useful, and where better than outside of RL and on the web?

If you think it's wrong to have a frank, funny thread about sex, I think you've missed something somewhere.

AddictedtoCrunchies · 07/01/2010 13:48

Potty - if you don't like it, don't read it. Simples?

I think it's great and have noted a few pointers down for later. DS is at Grandma's, stranded because of the snow. Yee ha.

BigBadMummy · 07/01/2010 13:58

oh for God sake.... there is always one.

The title of the thread is fairly self explanatory so if that offends don't trawl through 150 follow up messages trying to justify your "this is creepy" stance on it.

If you don't like it or find it offensive or adolescent there are plenty of other places on the web.