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Original poster

Oral sex...advice needed [blush]

164 replies

truoddsox · 04/01/2010 16:55

Sorry for the graphic topic but I really want some advice.
DP and I have been together for nearly 4 years, and this is something I've never "given" (for want of a better word) him. I'm a bit shy when it comes to initiating anything sexual, which he says is silly as he's always up for it and enjoys what I do.
Anyway, I feel bad for not doing it but I just don't know how to initiate, I'm worried about hurting him/gagging etc. Can anyone offer any tips/advice?
BTW - he doesn't force the issue or even mention it - this is just me wanting ro "reciprocate" occasionally, iyswim.

OP posts:
EdgarAleNPie · 05/01/2010 18:16

'Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer'

Tee-hee

BigBadMummy · 05/01/2010 18:32
BrahmsThirdRacket · 05/01/2010 18:55

Well maybe they should take a few tips - I doubt anyone on the staff of the Daily Mail has had a good shag since Thatcher got in.

Mamazon · 05/01/2010 19:43

right, tried the weird lingham thingy earlier.

It was complicated trying to follow the directions at first and DP did give me an odd look when i said i had to massge him like an orange juicer. and he did shift a bit when i tried finding his "sacred spot" (bumsex is for me only in this house)

he said it was ok but no better than a normal wank.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 05/01/2010 19:45

quick work Mamazon

Lol at the sacred spot. When I was young I thought that was what guys like - not all, it turns out. Some of them worry it's a bit ]gay

mowcop · 05/01/2010 20:15

I like the "If he chooses to let go and ejaculate" bit. Isn't that the point of the whole wanking thing? Or am I missing something?

Mamazon · 05/01/2010 20:17

oh i work endlessly for MN i really do.

no he is off to his parents for the night and seeing as my dc's were at their freinds i persuaded him to let me try it out so i could report back.

killed an hour or so.

BrahmsThirdRacket · 05/01/2010 20:20

Wow I thought I was the only person who had sex to kill time

Malificence · 05/01/2010 20:23

Tantric massage is fab, deeply relaxing.

I've tried deep perineal massage on DH ( he won't let me anywhere near his prostate - what a wuss!) - he said it was about as erotic as having his elbow rubbed. A vibrator on his bits does little for him too.

I position myself within easy reach of him when giving head, the more he does to me, the less I do to him though. I've never got the hang of the old 69 - I can't concentrate on him at all when I'm in the zone.

I probably won't be getting any tonight , he may well end up sleeping at work as it's 40 miles away and it's just taken me half an hour to drive the one mile from my work.

Mamazon · 05/01/2010 20:25

killing time and distracted him from realising i had just dyed his white viv westwood jumper a fetching shade of grey

HerBeatitude · 05/01/2010 20:41

But I still don't understand why men can't do that up and down twisty thing? What's wrong with their hands? Am I misunderstanding something?

Mamazon · 05/01/2010 20:42

because men are not as good at doing two things at once as we are

BalloonSlayer · 05/01/2010 20:50

Because the hand has to start off on one side (ie tummy side) and end up on the other and you can't do that without your arms dropping off. Sorry can't explain properly - wish I had link - but Anyfucker is the expert, , she'll be able to tell you.

ItsGraceAgain · 05/01/2010 20:55

I simply can't convey the amount of lols, info and sexual frisson this thread is giving me!

QueenofWhatever, thanks for the 'Wand Of Light Illuminates The Sacred Temple' links. I especially like the "eye glazing" part; a small typo perhaps

I clearly need to find a male subject with which to pursue studies ... Meanwhile, there's some Marmite in the pantry and plenty of olive oil. Time I visited the Temple, methinks.

ItsGraceAgain · 05/01/2010 20:59

ps: re the twisty thing - your hands cross over as they go up and down. You deffo couldn't do it yourself unless you had very long, rubber arms.

solo · 05/01/2010 23:04

QueenofWhatever, don't know if you realise it or not, but anyone can access quite a lot of your photo's etc from those links you gave.

QueenofWhatever · 06/01/2010 08:46

solo definitely not pictures of my wedding! Can't imagine myself marrying a chunky, beardy bloe in a velvet suit however good his yoni massage is.

solo · 06/01/2010 08:54

LOL!

solo · 06/01/2010 08:56

Should add that I didn't look!

traumaqueen · 06/01/2010 09:01

I have been told that a mouthful of champagne, crushed ice, creme de menthe and/or tea all add to the experience. Switching between hot and cold especially appreciated.

HerBeatitude · 06/01/2010 22:13

Just thought I'd bump this for any adland trolls folk around tonight.

Give 'em a flavour of Mumsnet.

MitsubishiWarrioress · 06/01/2010 22:30

God Damn it I wish I had a man at the moment.............

Oh...and you can actually learn to control the 'gag' refelx..

pottybutnice · 06/01/2010 22:35

This thread is kind of - creepy - does anyone else think that??

SeaGreen · 06/01/2010 22:40

OP this book might help

BrahmsThirdRacket · 06/01/2010 22:41

Re the gag reflex - take deep breaths through your nose.