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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Found condoms and an odd receipt

248 replies

guttedandworried · 30/12/2009 01:11

Its not good is it??

DH bought me and our 2 DD identical fragrance gift sets for Xmas. All in an indentical gift bag.

He joked with me that it was a buy 2 get 3rd free deal.

Well tonite for some totally random unknown reason I found his wallet on the bed and I dont know why but I nosied through it.

I found 2 receipts for this gift set. It was a BOGOF deal. He paid for the first 2 sets with his debit card, then 5 minutes later purchased another 2 sets (identical) but this time with cash.

3 sets are accounted for between me and our 2 DD. Where is the 4th? and why buy the 2nd 2 with cash not card?

This got my mind racing. So I went through his trouser pockets and found 2 condoms. 2 of ours - well same brand etc ( we use condoms atm).

He has been off work since Xmas eve but on call and has been called into work almost everyday (except Xmas day). He has been gone hours everytime. He has openly said he may or has popped into town to check out a few sales on his way home. TBH - the nature of his job and his call outs mean he could be out for 1 hour or 10 hours - so that means nothing. But the trousers he wore to work this week are the ones with the condoms in.

When he was called in on Boxing Day - he made some comment about not needing/bothering to wear his overalls and just went in his casual clothes. Not too unusual - as he sometimes does not bother with overalls BUT these are brand spanking new trousers he had for Xmas.

Maybe I am reading too much into everything else but the condoms and the receipt alone are enough to make my blood run cold.

I have been snooping since he has gone to bed. I cannot get onto his laptop as I cannot find the power supply for it. But in his laptop bag I found a gift bag (similar but not the same as the ones me and the girls had our Xmas gifts in). I cannot think of anything else he brought me, the girls, his mum etc that the gift bag would have come with.

I want to snoop in the car - but he has brought the company car home tonite and although I am sat here with the keys I am too scared to try opening it etc incase an alarm or something goes off!!

I have decided not to confront him yet and to see what else turns up in the coming days. I KNOW he wont admit to anything even with the condoms etc.

I am not jumping to conclusions am I? . What would you think if you found a reciept like I did (and there is question of WHERE is missing fragrance set)and 2 condoms in you OH trouser pocket?

Sorry for sounding so dumb - part of me is in calm shock the other is in part denial. I cant be doing with this atm - not that I have a choice.

OP posts:
lighthouse · 04/01/2010 11:51

Trouble with that is that he might have removed the evidence now just in case because you have snuffed him out.

Malificence · 04/01/2010 12:06

Nah, if he's managed to get to it and get rid of anything incriminating, he'd be falling over himself to show it to her to "prove" he's got nothing to hide.

If you really want to know, insist he takes you there now, it's the only way, ultimatum time, he either takes you ( before he has chance to see to his locker) or he leaves the house - see how he fancies a few nights in the block.

SqueezinAroundTheXmasTree · 04/01/2010 12:13

Forget the locker. There is no way he is going to take you there whether there is evidence or not.

The gift set, like someone else said, is your trump card. However, I think he will come up with some reason as to why he bought it, who he gave it to. When you ask him about it to his face, you have about 1 seconds worth of body language to gauge whether he is lying because he will think of something very fast. If you ask him and he says "what" or "what are you talking about" etc, then all he is doing is making time for his brain to come up with a story.

He doesn't sound as if he can tell you the truth and this fact alone should be your deciding factor. Evidence now, will be so hard to come by because he will be being ultra careful. He knows your suspicions and will be laying very low.

An honest man, particularly given his past behaviour, would sit you down, answer your questions, give you a hug and tell you that he understands why you became suspicious but that you've not to worry because he loves you. An honest man would be kicking himself that his past behaviour was causing you to feel the way that you do now.

Please try and not do this in front of the children, I know it is hard, but you must try and solve this when they are in bed or out playing. It is not good for them to witness this.

HugeBaublesWhatDidISayRoy · 04/01/2010 12:16

have you got the receipt for the gift sets? He cannot deny it if you still have it to rub his face in

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 12:20

Squeezin, wise words. Reckon this might be the only answer.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 04/01/2010 14:40

Gutted, the first thing I want to say to you is to forgive yourself for losing it. That calmness and numbness had to wear off at some point, didn't it? Sometimes, when you have been through what you have, the smallest thing triggers emotions you didn't know existed.

It's sod's law that it all came flooding out at the worst possible time and in the worst possible company, but it has happened and you probably needed a catalyst to get you to this point. Living with suspicion again was probably eating you up far more than you realised. You are human, you have been very hurt and the truth is, you have not healed from the last betrayal.

In the calm after the storm, consider what posters are saying here.

In the recovery period, all of us have moments of doubt or new suspicion. The truly sorry spouse though, completely understands this and takes great care to ensure that they do nothing to provide their partner with an awful flashback or new suspicion.

Fortunately for me, these have been very few and in fact the only one I can remember off hand is one night when it was obvious that my H had his phone on silent (it never is, these days). That provided a flashback and as soon as he realised he hadn't switched it back to normal after a work meeting, he was literally prostrate with anger at himself. He understood exactly why that would give me a flashback and was so sorry.

It seems that for your H on the other hand, it is bearable for him to see you in such agony. I'm sure in his defence he was also trying to normalise things for the children and so in part, I understand why he was playing with them, but at some point in all this, he should have taken you in his arms and said "I'm sorry. I understand why you feel this way. Of course you don't trust me yet and I accept that. Of course we will go to see my locker, I understand why you want to do that."

The fact that he didn't - and hasn't made much effort at all in fact to allay your suspicions, is telling.

I agree with posters' assessments of the NYE disappearing acts - this seems odd to me. I also think that carrying condoms around at all is bizarre. I expect he'll find some reason to explain away the gift set and will probably project back on to you that you are paranoid and suspicious to think it odd that he "forgot" to tell you about another purchase.

Now it's all out in the open, take some time to decide what you want. I understand all the barriers to leaving, but flip this on its head and work out the barriers to staying.

In your situation, I just don't think I could have the clarity about leaving until I knew all there was to know. If he is cheating again, will that give you the clarity you need? If so, tell him very clearly that if he has got any respect for you and your mental health, he must come clean.

You might be different to me, but I had certain "deal-breakers". I knew I would call time if I ever felt he wasn't truly sorry, if he ever tried to deflect the blame and the greatest one of all - if he ever did this again. It helped me to have that clarity. I accept I'm in a different position to you and I always knew why I was staying - nothing to do with the children, economics, lifestyle etc. I was staying because I loved him and knew our marriage was worth saving. I also knew at heart that he was and is a good person at heart, but for a short time, did some very bad things.

Try to work out why you have stayed - this will also help your clarity.

I do think there are times in our lives when something happens to jolt us out of our inertia and say "enough!" This could be yours and it might be that you decide no relationship is worth the toll on your mental health and emotional wellbeing. Trust your instincts and think hard. Happy to be a sounding board for what could be some very difficult decisions.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:03

I don't really undertand why some of you stay after you have had the dirty done to you. I guess you all know what you are doing, I however would not. I say this in the nicest possible way.

I am afraid that I would not tolerate it not even once, let alone twice. I really feel for you as you must be much braver than I am.

This must be the worst possible situation for anyone and I don't know why men do it and waste their wives lives. Its not fair, if they want to go then they shouls just go and let the healing process begin.

Its shit! exscuse my french. My advice to you all is that "ahem" as L'Oreal would say you are worth it. Don't let a cheating lying scumbag waste what precious life and time we have here. Its too short to be miserable.

HugeBaublesWhatDidISayRoy · 04/01/2010 15:08

agree whole heartedly with your post lighthouse.

All those years after wondering if and when they may do it again, can't be good for anyone.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:17

No, and living on your nerves and paranioa is not good for the head. How long do most people live to these days? can you imagine being an old lady at 80 ish and wondering "what if" regretting the choice you made to stay and being miserable all your life.

At the very worst times of my marriage I have said to DH, that I will not stay in an unhappy marriage no matter what. It defeats the object of being married.

Having someone to love and cherish you and enjoy life with, those are the things that matter. Not being miserable and unhappy and stressed.

There are too many other fit men about and one of them might be Mr Wonderful, or even just the chance to spend time getting to know yourself again, do the things you want to do with no ties (children being the exception of course). No one shoudl put up with being second best or the pitied pathetic wife of Mr Cheating Lying Arsehole.

WhenwillIfeelnormal · 04/01/2010 15:21

I'd have said the same as you once upon a time, and so I take no offence because I understand why you think that. All I would say is - it's so different when it happens to you. I don't think I ever realised how much I loved him until this happened - that's scary but empowering too. And I can only speak for myself, but I really don't wonder whether he would ever do this again. I actually think there's more chance of hell freezing over - but that's because I know how much he regrets it and how committed he is to our marriage.

My marriage is happier and infinitely more rewarding post-affair than it was before. I'm glad I stayed and found it in myself to see this for what it was - and make a more rational assessment of my H's real character. But then again, I'd had years (23) of fidelity and love to offset against 4 months of madness.

I accept however that this would not have been possible if my H had not been really contrite, gone to counselling - and done everything in his power to restore my faith.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:24

Well ok, a moment of madness, but all the same I am not as forgiving as you are and didn't really mean it in a mean way if you get what I mean .

You are a much braver lady than me, we will have to see what OP decides to do, hope she is ok?

purplepeony · 04/01/2010 15:42

I don't go along with this "one strike and you are out" attitude to affairs.

Relationships are very complex things. Not black and white. I know couples in my parents' generation who had affairs and are still together aged 80.

Men can have sex and it is meaningless- they can have their heads turned easily, they are weak, they like the ego boost, and think with their dicks. Not saying it is right, but does happen. More important are repeated emotional affairs- where they are replacing what is missing in their marriage.

I think an affair or the discovery of an affair is a watershed- it's a case of "ok- where do we go now". You don't throw away years of marriage and stability for the kids on the basis of some extra-marital fucking. Not in my book, anyway.

OP- I'd ignore the locker stuff- what were you hoping to find? The perfume set? Photos? Another phone? Condoms?

It's all by-the-by.

What you need to do is talk, calmly about what you have found and suspect. BUT you need to think about what you want to do- if your fears are confirmed, or not alleviated enough. Is this IT for you, or are you going to give him another chance.

AnyFucker · 04/01/2010 15:42

lh, I really agree with you

but one thing that MN has taught me is that when it happens to you, who the hell knows what you would do ?

so I never say never

what I really can't understand on these threads though is the self-delusion that women display...but I guess it is self-preservation really because once you know I suppose you are pushed into doing something about it...

looking from the outside is much easier

HappyWoman · 04/01/2010 15:46

I doubt whether he will come clean at all - ever. He will continue to hide any evidence and at the moment you are giving him the chance to gather his own thoughts and maybe even start moving forward with leaving you.

I say this as when my h knew i was getting nearer the truth he saw a solicitor to find out HIS rights - was even gathering his stuff and even some money. He says he never wanted the marriage to end but at that time he was 'stuck' and was preparing for the worst and for him to have a nice little cushion.

Without total proof - you will never know and he will continue to lie even if it is the reason for you slitting up.

Do take the time to make sure you do the right thing for YOU. If you dont tackle this now you will always have to live with the doubt.

He had a very good chance to help you and he didnt - there is no excuse for that.

Good luck

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:46

I guess so, but I am quite a hard person unfortunatley and can be very unforgiving.

As I said before, if other people want to try and sort this out after an affair thats entirely up to them, me however would not live in peace afterwards. God forbid I am ever on here eating my words.

purplepeony · 04/01/2010 15:51

lighthouse- maybe you have to be have been there- or had an affair- to know how it feels.
It is possible to love your partner and still be tempted for all kinds of reasons. You can love more than 1 person at one time. That's why I say the OP should give him another chance if they both want to.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:52

If proven guilty, forgive a 2nd time??

AnyFucker · 04/01/2010 15:56

I know lh, I have sometimes given out rather harsh words on here (and in RL)

I hope they never bite me on the bum

also, to those who think their dh/dp would never cheat, I always remeber an old work colleague of mine

she had been married for 30 years, 3 grown up kids

never any reason to suspect her dh who was the kindest, loveliest teddy-bear of a man you could ever meet (and I am not easy to impress)

they got on well, were a brilliant team, still had a lovelife blah blah blah

he did it...with the barmaid in the pub, changed into a completely different person and fucked off with her. She "really understood him..."

they were forced to sell their gorgeous house and their lives changed utterly

that stuc with me

purplepeony · 04/01/2010 15:58

It all depends Lighthouse. They must decide what suits them.

Alan Clark- if you remember him- had 100s of affairs and his wife always took him back. He loved her to bits, so he said, too.
No set rule.

AnyFucker · 04/01/2010 15:58

*stuck

HappyWoman · 04/01/2010 15:58

it is difficult to know how you would react. I did give my h a chance and he really has risen to it and we have a far healthier relationship than before. He has done a lot of hard work to prove to me just how much he loves me.

I have amazed myself just how much i can forgive - and have learnt a lot about myself too, which i am most grateful for.
Regaurdless of whether i am still with my h i know i am a happier person than i was before but i also know (and so does he) that i would not put myself through anything like that again.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 15:59

Sorry peony, you are full entitles to your opinion, as are we all here on MN. I just don't agree, sorry chick.

lighthouse · 04/01/2010 16:00

Hats off HWoman

purplepeony · 04/01/2010 16:01

Oh yes, AF- and I know a very good friend whose DH, who happened to be a millionaire, diddled off shortly after they threw a huge party for their 25th anniverary. Looking from the outside, they had everything you could want- 2 homes, lovely kids, great marriage- or so it seemed.

purplepeony · 04/01/2010 16:04

That's fine LH- no problem.
I just think that if it does happen , then it's time for the talking to start- not stop. I suppose it depends on how much importance you put on sex, and whether the affair is based on sex or something deeper.
I don't mind if you see it differently

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