ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Caramela, I hate to be the one to burst your delusional bubble, a neglected love tunnel will instantly respond to even a glimmer of possibility of affection. Add to this that siad twunt was good in the whole cunny department & you are fooling yourself if you seriously think your love tunnel is listening to you!!

I think MD will be spared a sharon stone type performance as I'm just too knackered to motivate myself. Even my love tunnel seems to be dormant. You might note that I posted last night that for simplicity purposes I was heading back to puppy. It just took one text, and my neglected love tunnel kicked into action, I didn't stand a chance & before I had time to react my love tunnel had staged a coup & was unashamedly engaging in disgracefully lewd sexually loaded behaviour. You have been fore warned, never underestimate the power a neglected love tunnel......add in a scantily clad body & alcohol....any delusions of resistance is just laughable. .

Oh how I would love to be a fly on the wall & watch you strutt your stuff!

I think Startingover we are both hapless victims of our treacherous love tunnels - it is becoming apparent to me that I am indeed kidding myself and should I get the remotest sniff of CL action, my love tunnel will be making its own decisions while my brain abandons all pretence of control.

I wish I knew what MD had said in his reply to your Sharon Stone text - was it that good ? I suspect that you may think you're too knackered for any MD action but he'll look across the crowded room at you with SHAG in giant neon letters flashing across his face and that'll be it - you'll be pushing pensioners and small children aside to get to him in a mad frenzy of sex-blindeness.

I think you should feel eternally grateful that you will be spared the sight of my elderly frame weaving drunkenly about the venue, trying desperately to keep my tits from making a bid for freedom.

Oh Caramela, I'm so jeolous, if I had been blessed with tits that were capable of making a bid for freedom, I'd be letting them run free .

Already got a few texts which are slowly reawakening the blood flow to my long abandoned love tunnel .

Enjoy the happy thoughts of your soon to come CL action. Don't however forget your dumpling status & we'll be here for you if he starts being a twunt again.

Whey hey Startingover and your smutty texts from MD, have a fulfilling evening .

I'm beyond hope here. I'm so off men, I'm genuinely more interested in Caramela's surprisingly sweet satsuma (OK, that just sounds lesbo-wrong) than any shagging action.

Sorry -- I have tried to phrase that nine different ways and they all sound gay! lolol!! What was the book - Satsumas are not the only fruit?

Starting -- did puppy reply to your text yet? Have fun tonight! Will be picturing you, as in Caramela's post, wading through hundreds of folding chairs to get your hands on MD's roller.

What is he talking about? Painting and decorating? Or tattoos?

I've made a phone appt to talk to my solicitor next week, regarding my options for the house. I don't know what to do - move or stay... Part of me thinks it'd be a laugh to live within walking distance of my parents and my brother (he lives next door), but another part thinks it might just be a bit stressful. We seem to get into blazing rows whenever I'm there.

They are very supportive emotionally (especially Mum), but they're getting on and wouldn't/couldn't be that "hands on" with my DC. They love them to bits but find them noisy and tiring after 10 minutes! I know I'd make new Mum friends there, and my brother's good fun... But it'd be an hour away from XH so the DC would see less of him. Oh, I just don't know what to do!

I will also speak to my accountant to see if I'd even get a mortgage.

I just can't date men at the moment, I need to absolutely revitalise my career and my finances. I have been successful but scatty and a spendthrift for the past 20 years and have nothing. I need to get a vast amount of cash then manage it sensibly, and stop buying boots!

Delightful dumplings, alas I seem to be ending up as the only one without any action here. I thought Beauty was with me, at least, but she seems to have taken a turn in a direction that I fear I just cannot follow.

Today's highlights.....

Met old work colleague in the smoke for a chat
Left purse on the train on the way, eventually retrieved it after much angst
Missed stop on tube and arrived at meeting 45 minutes late

Evening filled with joy (not) by visit from Bald Eagle.

But I am Happy (really!). Funny that and somewhat bothering BE I think .

Oh and Beauty, not sure what to suggest on the house front. I don't live too near to most of my family and haven't for years so tend to mostly get my support from others who live locally. So for me, it just wouldn't be an option to move nearer to family and, in fact, would be quite a frightening thing to do. DC's are older too and would go beserk!

In your case, I guess you need to do what feels right and what works financially. Once you know if you can get a mortgage, maybe that will help you make a decision.

Dumplings, I'm back home & MD is following me here. Oh my god, I could feasibly be having sex in a minute!!!! Watch this space, I'll report back later.

you are a swine to post that

think safe

OMG, I'd better light some candles and get the chocolates out. This is as close to a shag as I am likely to get for some time.

I can't stay up too late mind.

Hello Dumplings I am back from fancy London town yes should have done mini dumpling meet up should have thought doh! also can you believe rubbish planning meant i had xmas lunch and xmas meal tonight I am going to be such a chubber tomorrow i reckon I will kind of go poof fat overnight, cannot believe I have missed so much being away just one day

You are all soundy feisty tits canterlevered under chin up, well done dumplings big big hello to all would list all of you but shag weary wined out fingers will not type in all of names but they can just about wave.... waves

Startingover yaaaaay re college work but now I have pulled up a chair and got chocolate and wine re latest MD developments you go girlie

LOL at Happy. "This is as close to a shag as I am likely to get for some time." Me too!

My boot fetish continues. I must stop spending money, it's ridiculous. But... I just bought a pair of black-gloss Hunter wellies.

But that's it now, really, no more boots.

Beauty Wellies??? what are you thinking?!

I'm with you all the way Beauty - any boots, wellies or otherwise do it for me. But especially really long ones.

Loobs, so in my hour of need when I lost my wallet in the smoke you could have saved me and lent me some dosh for a coffee? Crazy but I never thought to look out for a dumpling as I ran up and down the platform but, of course, should have been the obvious solution.

< kind of chatting whilst wondering whether Starting will check in>

Dumplings, MD has just vacated the building . Am happy to report that my new found virginity is still intact but won't remain so for long.

It was obviously just all of the crap I had to deal with from ex for past week that made me question things. Got on famously. Oh Fellow Dumplings, he is a ride, he is v easy on the eye & OMG his body is so fit. We only kissed again tonight but did plenty of it & the chemistry is there (thank you god & universe).

Ifyourhappy, I am still laughing about the chocolates & wine.

Beauty, good to see you back & glad you're finding temporary release for your new man ban in purchasing more boots.

I am going to be so wrecked tomorrow but omg it was so worth it.

Mmm full of choc (hic)

Happy yes I would have saved you why did you not yell out for a Dumpling I woudl have been there.... poor you losing your wallet

Starting way to go dumpling I am so pleased for you body sounds fab ..... so when is the next episode that we are wanting to tune in for?!

Beauty I apologise for thinking wellies what? what? I was clearly tired and not thinking in boot mode ..... after all boots are boots

Hi all Dumplings hey at least it Friday woo hoo

Dumplings, I don't think I am cut out for the dating game. H

ad coffee with surgeon 2 weeks ago and since then had email/text contact. Sent me very stroppy text why I was not responding to his texts and that it was bordering on being ignorant(I run online retail businesses and it is the run up to Christmas so very difficult to schedule in coffee meetings as it is mad busy)

I so cannot be bothered with any stroppiness, drama kings (especially with no sense of humour) so any follow ups have been dramatically terminated.

No word from FBG either, I think I may have scared him off, no idea why as my emails were quite cheerful, it just really annoys me as he was chasing me.

Ah well, at least the banker remains. On a positive note, I have lost so much weight, I know fit in the same shorts I wore when I was 16.

Dutchy ..... noooo don't do stropy blokes we have had enough of them in the past this time we are looking for fabulous

FBG humph!! his loss dumpling

Banker .... good job possibly loads of money hang on in there girlie

Congrats on the shorts