ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

StartingOver, I hope you are ok, you have been so standing up to that twunt.

Beautiful, I hope you are doing ok, please come back to give us an update.

I have two dates scheduled with other prospects, FBG is (I think) very shy so keeping my options open.

X is still being a twunt, had to physically remove him from the house (weighing 7.5 stone, quite a task) I think I had so much anger in me that I had the physical strength to grab him and get him out of the door. Don't condone that kind of thing, but he just doesn't know when to stop. He stated I am a bad mother cos there is a pile of clean laundry in little one's bedroom waiting to be folded.

Hello dumplings!

Starting: do just go along on the date. It'll perk you up, get you out of the house, give you a chance to get dolled-up and who knows? But yes, as your Leader, I'm afraid I will pull rank and force you to go out with MD this weekend. Remember how you described the first date? Laughing your heads off all evening? Do it!

I think you're just in a slump because you had that awful, awful experience with your ex yesterday. That is so sad. It must be the worst thing ever, seeing the man you loved (and who loved you) change into someone else. But don't retreat and batten down the hatches. OK? Promise?

Mumfun: I'm so nosy but im dying to hear more about the big row! What was it about? (I'm guessing it was a, "How the fuck could you walk out on all of us"?) Did he seem surprised? How do you feel now?

Do you think your ex was shocked to see you erupt like that? Are you normally one for keeping the peace? Did he look at you with new respect, or terror??!

Did you really chuck stuff at him? Go you! What was it?

I love it, by the way! Always good to see a Dimpling getting in touch with her Inner Warrior Vixen.

Go you, too, Dutch! That bad-mother comment is such a load of abusive, targeted wank. Who are the dates with and how did you meet them? We expect full date reports as I hope you know!

Massive great big hellos to all the other Dumplings. I'm so pleased you're hear.

Puma, how are you feeling?

Caramela - any more news from Bollox?

Mavis - have you tried those wonderful Ashton & Parsons teething powders? My DS2 loves them, they completely calm him down within seconds and he snuggles down to sleep. Theres nothing really in them, I don't know how they work, but they're wonderful.

Loobs - 5am? Eeek!

Lamby - 5 kids???? Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!!!

Ifyourehappy - hello gorgeous! What's going on with you?

I have no news. Am definitely not dating until after Christmas. It's blissful to only have myself and the lovely DC to worry about. I'm not making any decisions until the New Year.

My ex will probably start leaning on me to sell the house soon, as he will want his share of the equity. Do I have to sell it? (I can't afford to buy him out.) And might moving be an exciting fresh start for me and the DC? I'm scared I wouldn't get a mortgage, as am self-employed...

Also, should I try to stay round here or move back to my home-town where my parents and my brother still live? I don't know if that would be lovely (for support) or just feel like a step backwards. If anyone has any ideas, please share! I really don't know.

Whatever happened to MuthaHubbard??

"I'm so pleased you're hear." Bugger! And to think, I've been spending hours being all smug on the pedantic spelling/grammar threads!

I'm so pleased you're here.

Beautiful, thank you for saying it is a load of abusive, targeted wank. He just makes me so angry.

I have a full time job, am a full-time mum, he does not pay any maintenance and he has the guts saying I am a bad mother because there is clean washing on the sofabed in her bedroom. Never mind she is an exceptionally bright, happy girl, always beautifully dressed, eats very healthy diet etc and I am always there for her.

Dates are via Match.com but did screen them. Only going for coffee so I can make a quick escape! One is a neuro surgeon, one is a banker. Not sure about FBG, I think he is actually quite busy with work but I don't know if he is that interested or not. I have been out of the dating game for over 6 years so I am just getting used to it again.

Hi Beautiful glad you are back and sounding pretty feisty and positive I have done all reports for work meeting so dipping a toe back on here .... Hi Dutchy two dates sound interesting hope all goes well, stuff FBG plenty more fish in the sea and I don't see a fishing ban anytime soon

Beauty every financial agreement varies but I very recently consulted a solicitor and settled with GB, basically if you have more bedrooms than you need your ex can insist that you downsize to smaller house to pay out his share of equity( for example just me and one DS but I have a 3 bed house so he could have made us move to a 2 bed) but other than that he has to wait until DC's have finished full time education to get his share unless you are loaded and are able to buy him out sooner which you have said you can't so don't be worrying about that.

Tomorrow I have a meeting in fancy London Town and I don't have to get the train until 10am yipee so that will make up for eeek 5am

Hello everyone, just caught up with the posts now.

Starting, more agreement with Loobie and Beauty from me - you should go on the date, it's just an opportunity for rampant sex a bit of fun. You've had a rough week, you're bound to be feeling a little ambivalent about seeing someone else. Your parents sound like mine , whatever happens my mum will always deem it to be my fault, I take it all with a pinch of salt these days.

Dutchy, a bad mother because you've not put some washing away ? bloody hell it's a good job he can't see the explosion in a laundry that lives in my utility room. Good luck with your dates.

Beautiful, I know what you mean about moving back closer to family - if my dc weren't all settled in school then I'd be back to my home city in a shot. If it will make your life easier you should move.

Mumfun, you feisty devil ! You should also get down the Patent Office asap with your plans for a twuntometer, there must be a huge market for such a useful device.

Lamby, glad to hear MM is still being lovely. 5 kids ? did they not have a telly ?

Loobie, enjoy your lie in - I'm guessing you need all the rest you can get at the moment what with all the wild sex.

Hello Mavis and Ifyou'rehappy - Mavis , sympathy with the teething - you could drink enough booze so the crying doesn't bother you any more - or is that just my piss-poor maternal skills again ?

I suppose it's my Dumpling duty to update you on Bollox related happenings. Now, don't tell me off too much but he's asked to come to the party with me and I said yes. But with my new flinty-hearted approach, I have been totally ' whateva ' about the whole thing. And, wait for this, I am not going to allow his tumescent tadger within sight of my love tunnel ( thanks for the phrase, Beauty ). That's the plan at least, who knows if my love tunnel may sense a bit of action and stage some kind of treacherous coup over my rational mind ?

Cynics, the lot of ya

Hi y'all

StartingOver - I vote go for the shag so long as you feel a frisson of desire. If it's not there then not sure I could?

Loobie (if you're still awake after the early start) and Beauty uurgh not sure I can read all of the stuff on selling houses. My head is firmly in the sand on the divorce front. Am just happy that Bald Eagle and Country Bumpkin are away from me and don't want to think about sorting all that stuff out. Know I am being a bit of a woos (spelling?) but would just like a breather (and a bit of shagging) before I face up to all of that.

Dutchy, sounds like you're doing well on the dating front. I am in awe and need to try and make myself look worth shagging. But then he's only been gone for weeks not even months so early days I guess. Still need to stop myself flirting outrageously with vaguely interesting looking men and young boys at work (it's a bit pathetic).

Caramela, I am concerned about your love tunnel having a mind of its own here and thinking about what could happen. We will naturally pick up any pieces that we need to but think about how this will look in Beauty's book and when you're being interviewed on TV about the film. How's the book going Beauty btw? I guess it needs to be kept under wraps to some extent as it could affect your publishing deal if it gets out too early, But maybe just a snippet?

Hi All!

Doing fine thanks Beautiful - currently trying to sort out a night out with old, old boyfriend to see if I'm feeling the lurve. And if he is, obviously.

Not got any wise words about moving to your home town. Apart from the family ties, what else would draw you back?

Starting - absolutley no dumping of MD yet. You've had a bad week and he sounds like a gem. Deep breath. Hang on in there. Well, onto those ears anyway.

Dutchy - v on your behalf. Lovely of him to make comments like that when he's obviously such a model dad himself.

Hope the rest of you are fine and having a fab evening.

Hi all again

Puma - comtemplating sex with an ex - well hope he appreciates how fab you have become

Starting- Im always a bit warier then the others. Def go on night oit -but be kind to yourself and him. Youve had a hell of a week basically -so you neeed the cheer up big time - but personally I wouldnt go for the nudy wrestling if youre not sure and I wouldnt be sure in your current situation. I wouldnt want to lose him as a friend and it it you were a man here - wed be giving him big grief about using etc(sorry if I sound harsh!)

Loobie -cant believe youre in London and didnt think to arrange a mini dumpling meet.

Beauty - it would be tempting to move nearer nice supportive family if you felt you would be happy yourself back in the area again -think from what you said before its not too far.

Caramela - love the ttumescent tadger. Up to you if youre happy for him to go to party - but not sure your lady/love tunnel is under enough control

Dutchy - impressive dating sorting out - 6 years seems very little out of the dating scene to me

As to Inner Warrior Vixen report - was driven insane by his refusal to listen to me and unbelievable blaming and insisting how controlling I was- so threw very heavy (dont do crappy small) cups right at him with large force with drinks in - hurt him. I was more shocked I think. Ex had expected a lot more earlier TBH as he has been a shit. Excellent outcome as fab heavy cups didnt break very remarkably -dont know how. Glad to see them intact and H not!

Well done Mumfun, sounds like an excellent choice of implement and some well deserved rough justice

Evening dumplings

Mumfun I so know where you're coming from with the attack. I think you take so much over the years and sometimes it's one comment that pushes you over the edge. Did you feel strangely better afterwards? I know that I developed almost an anger problem after years of dealing with the twisted xh. Felt like I was going insane a lot of the time and the aftermath still goes on so I need a bit of anger management too! Any ideas anyone?

Also Dutchy - that is sounding very familar to me too - what an absolute arsehole to judge you when you are very clearly holding it all together. He can't take you being so successful so he has to try to bring you down. Don't let him - you are obviously a fabulous, strong, feisty dumpling who is fighting back - good for you!

Starting - not surprised you feel like this over MD after the week you've had. May be just go for it and don't have any expectations. It sounds like you need to take it slowly and not rush into anything - just do what's right for you because you've been through so much crap.

Loobie can't believe you were at work at 6.30 am! You must be dedicated, intelligent career woman.

Caramela do you think he wants to make another go of it? How would you feel about it? Just worried that you might get hurt all over again so just try to sort out whether you can handle it or not. Unfortunately, lady tunnels have a habit of going against what the brain tells them to do and have been known to have a life of their own, much like the tumescent tadger! What a great expression? puts me in mind of an enormous, swollen pink sausage that is just ready to explode (pretty accurate then!) Be careful we don't want you howling all day every day again do we.

Our esteemed leader Beauty, xh and I sold the family home so that he got his equity. I got 60% of the equity which was enough for me to buy my own place. If I couldn't have bought my own place with the equity then, as others have said, I was entitled to stay in the house until ds was 18. However, it was important to me to get out of the house due to twuntish behaviour of xh. Your solicitor will advise you on what to do. If you moved back to be nearer your parents, would you be able to afford to buy somewhere small near them? I think family support is good but only if you know they will help you out. Hopefully, you're one of the lucky ones that have supportive family.

MM is still good. We talk for hours and hours and never run out of things to say. Got to wait until new year though to meet. Maybe new year new man? Who knows.

Dumplings, I did a bad thing. Have no idea what exh is up to (involved in a lot of unsavoury things), but he redirected his post back here about 4 wks ago for some stange reason. I have same accountant as exh still & have been meeting with accountant to sort out tax affairs & to separate out our interests. I knew we were due tax back so was trying to sort this out.

Anyway, last wk three letters arrived from tax office, one for me & two for ex. Mine was a cheque for a small amount of tax overpaid. Was itching to open other two but refrained from temptation.

Ex had promised me a substantial amount of money for xmas shopping. Have slowly come to realise over past week that money has not arrived & is now hardly likely to come. Worse, it appears standing order for maintenance was cancelled. Was talking to solicitor this morning & I am meeting with her on monday to file an emergency maintenance application.

My retail therapy purchases from my night of no sleep prior to court cast arrived today. I just went to retrieve package to admire my purchases & ex's post caught my eye. Proved too much for me & I ripped open tax letters in frenzy to see what cheques they contained. The prik has got cheques for a substantial amount for 07 & 08. Had a message from one of ex's employees this evening looking to collect post. I'm going to refuse to hand over cheques if he doesn't sort out maintanence & xmas money. Prik, prick, prick............argh!

Oh Starting what a shit. Is this his payback because of the court case? That's exactly what my xh would have done - he was very into punishments. How are you going to cope for money in the interim? Your solicitor sounds good - how long will an emergency maintenance application take. He is being a total arse.

I think you're doing the right thing in holding back the cheques. He should never have redirected his post to you anyway - why did he do that? Sorry, I'm very suspicious.

Are you angry, upset? That's the counsellor in me coming out - just want to check out how you are tonight?

Take care of yourself and try to get some sleep - you must be exhausted.

Hi Loobie, I cannot believe you were at your desk at such an ungodly hour!! Hope you're snuggled up in bed now, even better if CLGS happens to be there!

Hi Dutchy, thanks for words of support, best of luck with dates. Tell your ex to go fuck himself where the sun don't shine.

Hi Beauty, I do not wish to defy our devine leader but thoughts of the comfort of puppy have been invading my head once more.......more to follow. I just can't get my head around you being off men for the next three weeks!! I will be closely monitoring the situation.

Hi Caramela, the only thing I'm going to say is that once alcohol hits your blood system your love tunnel is going to have a mind all of it's own!! I suspect you know this already so I'll say no more .

Hi Ifyourhappy, hope all's well.

Hi Pumagirl, go for it, go for it .

Hi Mumfun, good for you seizing the opportunity to get that out of your system with ex. I'm in agreeance with you on the MD front!

Hi Lamby, glad your still enjoying chats with NM .

Hi Lamby, thanks, am actually grand, am secretly thrilled because I've always been one step ahead of him & it drives him loopy. He'll be hopping over cheques .

My solicitor is shit shit hot . I'll never forget the look on ex's face when he first found out who my solicitor was, priceless .

I'm fortunate in that I'm fairly financially secure myself independant of ex. Might have to cut down for the short term but long term I'll be fine. I had a lot of extra outgoings however recently & as far as ex is aware I was dependant on that money for xmas.

How are things going for you??

Well, now to the main deal..... MD! Have been pondering issue & whilest I haven't made a deffinate decision, I'm more inclined to pass on MD. Reasons are as follows, I've no interest in having a relationship with him (I think), spark is just not there, I was obviously carried away at excitment of having any male other than ds in my house for a full week!

I could take a chance & meet him again but really I'd have to have sex to know if there was chemistry. I already know there is great chemistry with puppy, he loves the whole cunny business & is v good at it. So instead of risking becoming a slapper by sleeping with every male that passes my threshold in my desperate need for sex, would I not be better just going back to puppy, if he'll have me of course????? Poll please.........

Dumplings, I am unable to focus on assignment, I'll be up all night & tomorrow night! Anyway, I just wanted to share with ye all that there are people out there who would invent anything & there are mugs like me who would buy anything! One of my purchases the other night was ........a little bit of sunshine, I'm so excited.

It's a solar powered jar that you place on the window sill by day & it works as a lamp by night. I got a pink one for dd's bedroom . My very own little bit of sunshine, yippee (will share with dd of course!).

MD has been persuing me vigorously since last post with texts. I've just now agreed to meet him briefly tomorrow night & had temporary amnesia about puppy plan & may have mentioned something in text about doing a sharon stone number on him in public place . Lack of sex will do that to you....... I think MD might very well be back in the game, his comeback was great, so I'll go and check out if there's any chemistry worth persuing..... I will of course keep ye all updated.

Ok, focus, assignment!!

Girls, you are fabulous. You cheered me up no end. Iam not vindictive towards ex so I don't understand why he is behaving like this.

I am technically not a dumpling as I dumped X, decided I did not like the package with his abusive family and crazy ex-girlfriend that went with him. Split with him more than 7 months ago, but he does not seem to get the message.

Will see how the two dates go, neuro surgeon does not seem to have sense of humour though, bit of a shame.

Gosh Startingover your life is so much more eventful than mine! I am looking forward to seeing how this unfolds.

Here are the highlights of the last 24 hours:

• put up a few xmas lights last night (struggling a bit with concept of Xmas)
• made inappropriate comment to work colleague in meeting which no doubt revealed the sex starved nature of my current existence
• cooked DCs breakfast
• chatted with girlies on phone
• watched events unfold in Dumpland.

Will try to conjure up some real action today.

Afternoon Dutchy, I am not vindictive towards ex either tg, even though he did wrong me greatly. I think that is the worst place of all to be trapped in, the counselling helped me to maintain compassion for my ex tg.

I am technically not a dumpling either but I consider myself to be one as his behaviour left me broken hearted & with no choice but to fuck his sorry ass out the door!

Good luck with the neuro surgeon, a sense of humour would be a must for me.... maybe it's just hidden deeply.

Hi Ifyourhappy, I found last xmas so hard in every way. I was still so raw & broken hearted, ex was behaving like a total bollocks & I was trying so hard to give the dc's a happy xmas. This year I've far less emotional stuff to deal with tg, but I know there will be times that I am bound to feel huge sadness for the loss of ex & for my dc's loss at not having a father in their lives at the moment.

Take it very easy & be gentle with yourself. The big events can always trigger a lot of emotional stuff. I also think the first of everything following a separation is the hardest to deal with. I have already done the first of everything as a dumpling & it deffinately gets easier as you go along. Hang in there & give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Well dumplings, I am taking a virtual bow.... I stayed up until 5 am & got assignment completed. I am exhausted but feeling very happy to have come through the challenges of this week.

I'm going to take it very easy for the rest of the day now, as I had a very busy morning & will be busy with college for the next two days.

I am going to treat myself to a little diversion with MD tonight. He's giving a talk tonight so I'm going to put him under a little pressure . We'll be confined due to being at a public gathering but the sexual sparks were flying at a rapid pace last night in the world of texts. My main purpose will be to see if there's any chemistry there & if there is, I'm going to give myself an early xmas present by getting laid as soon as a window of opportunity presents itself.

Operation sex is back on .

Afternoon fellow Dumplings - hope you've all had fantastic days.

Startingover - I can't keep up with you, I hope you're not going to sit at the front of MD's audience tonight flashing your knickerless nether regions - he's not going to be able to concentrate is he, the poor sod ? The way things are sounding you'll be bundling him into a cleaner's cupboard after his talk. We await the details later.

Dutchy, maybe neurosurgeon just has a very dark sense of humour - it's always seemed to be a pre-requisite of that kind of job to me. If he has no sense of humour at all he is clearly an unloveable freak who should be given a wide berth ( harsh but fair ).

Ifyou'rehappy, my highlights of the last 24 hours are , errrrrrr, a nice mug of coffee and a piece of Christmas cake and the satsuma I had for lunch was quite sweet. So you see in comparison you are having a wild old time.

Thank you all for the advice about my treacherous love tunnel and its plans for domination once I've necked some booze - I've had a serious talk with it and it's under no illusions as to just who is the boss around here, it seems to have got the message.

By the way I've tried on my party outfit in its entirety - kerrrristt. You may have to give me some kind of telepathic Dumpling support to enable me to leave the house tomorrow evening, I have rarely seen a more inappropriately dressed forty year old woman.