ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Hi Notmychoice, guessed as much . Marriages don't just break down over a few arguements etc.. Usually it ends up there was OW if there is no other obvious explanation. again for you.

NMC I didnt see it either .Thought we were def 4 life but there you go .All sort of stuff is still transpiring but as long as me and dcs are cool thats wot counts.Def his loss .Look after yourself ,you are not a failure!Keep posting... good to share x

Sorry to hear that notmychoice. I can relate to what you're saying - my XP enjoyed Country Bumpkin for sometime without my knowledge but said that had nothing to do with the issues in our marriage .

Oh, and ref the people on this thread, I forgot the lurkers...

And btw, we talk about some sh** stuff here but we also discuss dumpling (s)exploits and news. This is the second thread and if you ever get time (maybe about three months) enjoy a riveting read by looking up thread (learnt that expression recently, blimey I've been on MN too long).

Can I go to bed now?

P.S. Maybees didn't mean to offend you by saying you weren't a veteran. Just meant me & ifyourhappy are longer away from our respective twunts .

thanks

I have gone from thinking I couldn't cope to desperately calling him last Friday asking him to come back (but he has already moved into a studio flat on sat...all very rapid i wonder how longs he was planning on leaving)

Now I haven't cried since Fri, have not seen or spoken to him since then either and have no desire to. Only contact is by text and not much at that

Although this is my second marriage to finish the first time was my choice so i didn;t feel the hurt so badly I was just glad to get out of the relationship I was in.

Its such as shame we have 5 kids between us been together 10 years ... a whole family ripped apart because he thinks the grass is greener somewhere else

Nite Ifyourhappy, will defo have to switch to earlier hour, we can't afford to neglect our beauty sleep

I really need to get to bed working in the morning and starting to get myself in a place I dont want to be. Good night, will be back along tomorrow!

Night all , , .

notmychoice, we've all been there re the wanting them back etc.. Reality unfortunately can be difficult to accept. Give yourself time. It takes two to want to make a marriage work.

Nite all. Bitching, moaning, pondering about sex etc.... will recommence tomorrow

None taken Startin' Im just glad I found you all.Doesnt matter how or when but the funny thing is I read abit of this thread at work on my mobile online one day .I had never seen MN b4 and when i got home looked on laptop for hours trying to find it again on Netmums.I remember texting RL friend and saying its ok im called a dumpling everything is going to be cool !

Nite Nite x

Hello lis496 and notmychoice

I was dumpped 2 yrs ago but it still feels like yesterday.

It's not your fault, that's just what they want you to think because it eases thier guilt.

They are totally inadiquate wankers who didn't deserve you in the first place.

Stay on this thread, the women are pure magic.
x

Afternoon all, hope all the night owls are keeping ok. I'm feeling fairly top of the world today after my counselling session.

I've come to the conclusion that I'm happy on my own for now. I don't feel there's is anything lacking in my life & just want to enjoy things are with the dc's for now. The plus side to all this is I won't have to shave my legs .

I'm posting this to give all the newbies a bit of hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybees, I was a lurker for a long time before I finally took the plunge last Nov & joined this thread

Can I join in? I haven't technically been dumped, but in my book, being told you are not loved any more and that you don't seem worth the effort to try counts for that.

I've asked my H of 8 years to move out last week, and am feeling very raw about things. I have a list of things that he emailed me (well I deleted the email ages ago cos I couldn't bear to look at it) that are wrong with me - and they've always been wrong with me, so I'm rather confused at the moment. Some of those things I agree with and want to work on - but now is really not a good time for me!

I'm nearly 6 months pregnant, with a 2yo to top it all off, and I am really wondering right now whether the love I feel for him is just habit, because every day I can see less of the man I thought he was.

Mostly I'm scared for the future right now - I've been with him since I was 18 and we really grew up together so I'm going to have to learn to do things alone for the first time, which considering my circumstances is particularly scary.

Add to that the fact that I don't have any contact with my family (and don't want any) life is looking hard at the moment, and I worry I will rely too much on my kids to fulfill me.

Errm that was a bit of an essay - anyway, I bet loads of you have been where I am now...

lis - I know how you feel about the guilt. I haven't always been nice to my H, but I'm trying to see that there are 2 sides to everything.

Yes, my actual behaviour at times was unacceptable (although actually I took steps to change and was doing rather well in one particular area before things got worse) but so was his, and he is not taking any responsibility for his actions - he's just blaming me. 2 wrongs don't make a right, but if you can accept your side of things but not blame yourself, then you can be a better person for your DC (which is what I am desperately trying)

Welcome Chairmum! Taking responsibility is important and it sounds like you are taking a lot! IME it's something men aren't always great at and my XP is pretty crap at this.

Of course you are welcome to join. Starting and Maybees we must regard all of these joiners as our new children and put them through a kindly induction.

I will return for happy hour later (not sure what time happy hour is tonight though ).

Starting, I am going out this weekend and have to shave my legs . It seems easier to stay in maybe? Tell me I'm wrong.

Hi Ifyourhappy, shave your legs & have fun . I've no doubt I'll cave & end up doing the same in the near future .

Welcome Chairmum. Agree with Ifyourhappy, it doesn't sound like your xp is taking any responsibility or supporting you the way he should during your pregnancy. Try to mind yourself as best you can.

I was left with 3 dc's (1.5yrs, 2 & 8 at time), the future looked v scary. The dc's are 3,4, & 10 now & future looks full of possibilities. You will be v raw for a long time so your priority should really be just looking after practical stuff & taking care of you & dc. It gets easier & you will get stronger.

Hi everyone !Hope you all have made it thru 2day unscathed.
Just back from counselling,good to talk to someone impartial.Didnt cry at all,think this shows that I am beginning to accept the things I cannot change.I have no control over Xs behaviour ,he is in denial .Says X has to choose to face his own demons and sort himself out.He asked what is the difference between a 4yo boy and a man,answer not much the legs are just a bit longer.

Just remember Beauty wrote something about"dumplings being on the road to recovering our fabulosity because moping was soooo 1990's"

Chin up! Tits out!

Hi everyone hope you are all well tonight. Was working today but having an angry day all guns blazing earlier as was going to call this person he was texting and ask what the hell is going on...but my sane mind has switched back on thank goodness as that is just not my style. Think best way to deal with this is with my dignity intact.

My house has never been so tidy I realise now he was an overgrown kid who had everything done for him.

I'm laughing about some of the comments about sex on here but no doubt I will be frustrated soon too. My wanker of an ex and I were still having sex up to a couple of days before he left, I told you I didn't see his departure coming...everything was normal.

God the thought of being intimate with another man scares me....think I will be me, myself and I for the rest of my life

chairmum....My husband told me he didn't love me anymore a week past Sunday its not nice to hear it and even worse coming to terms with it but we'll get there.

Well done on the self control re texting NMC ,DIGNITY is a fabulous word to have in your vocabulary at this point in time.