ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Waves to any dumplings left on the planet.....

Need to share events of today. Decided to head to beach with dc's & dog to soak up the fresh air & tranquility. What actually transpired is that dc's saw a park & decided they wanted to go to park aswell. Park was facing out to a shore inlet type place. As a compromise, I said we'd bring the dog for a quick walk on shore & then head back to park. Climbed over a ditch & down some rocks with dc's & dog in tow, all going well dc's & dog very excited.

After a few minutes my eldest dd who was walking out further than us started to sink. Initially I laughed thinking it was quiet funny until she landed flat on her face in what was not sand but was thick black muck like gunk. Rescued dd only for youngest dd to land flat on her bum in same gunk. At this point ds thought the whole thing was hilarous so he decided to roll about in it. My eldest dd had lost her shoes & socks & was not impressed to be covered from head to toe in black shit.

She started to cry & then youngest dd started to cry, while ds was laughing estatically. To try & defuse situation (& to avoid anyone ringing social services on me), I told dd's to try to enjoy the moment, that it wasn't everyday they got completely covered in muck & to try to enjoy it. Seemed to do the trick. Eventually managed to get dc's & dog back to car (obviously park was out of question).

Back at house made dc's go around by the side gate & strip outside of porch door. Dog was confined to garden. One by one dc's & dog got showered. Then I had to tackle coats, boots & clothes covered in black slime. Finally I had to spend an hour & a half cleaning black gunk out of the car.

So, how was your day.............

As I'm on a roll, other mild frustrations of weekend...... I live next to a forest & the bloody dog somehow managed to bury under my fencing & escape to the delights of the forest. Anyway, spent 100 euro on wed getting new fencing installed. By Fri, the bloody dog believe it or not chewed through the metal fencing & escaped again! Sat had to spend another 100 to have yet more fencing put up. Dog is on final warning at this point......

Finally, decided to surprise ds & assemble his snap trax bob the builder set last night while he was asleep. Two hours later, I'd managed to assemble it to look some what like it should have looked. I'm good at assembling things but this is a fu*king joke.....& it's aimed for 4 yrs up!!!!! Worse, I told ds today that he could break it up & make it a different way if he wanted. He asked me tonight could I put it back the way it was, oh dear god.........

Wot a riot, love it startin -welcome to my world .Mud ,kids and animals, wot a laff as long as ur all safe and sound ha ha ha!Fucking dog if its not vet bills its fencing must be some lovely smells in the woods mmmmm!Hope its not affected the hols fund too much.Bet dog was snoring that nite!Think of all the money you saved on mud treatments think you should maybe buy a pony soon !
Bob the builder sounds fab -can we fix it?yes we can !!!

Hellooo

Love the mousetraps and mud facepack stories. Glad you are further on the track to fabulosity!

Yes Im more of a hermit here than I was. Have a lot on at present so keeping my head down.

Hope absent dumplings are having a good time and will return to update us!

Had a lovely weekend across the water last weekend - ate, drank and walked thru the woods and hills. Lovely!

Now back to porridge

And chocolate! Am starting to put on weight so better get myself eating better!

TTFN

Evening dumplings .... sounds like interesting times for all.

A good weekend from a social perspective for me although all not good on DS front. Sometimes I think I'm in a horror film when a romcom would be preferred .

On the XH side little involvement at the mo which does feel good. Also am gradually coming to terms with and processing what's happened better I think (ffs sounds like counselling speak) as time passes and I read more and more MN threads and realise that these twunts are really all the same! (You know how they say a dog is for life not just for Xmas? Well I think a bloke should perhaps be for a sh** and not forever. Or maybe living with a twunt has just got me a bit jaded ).

Evening Fellow Dumpettes, glad to hear all's going realitively well for everyone.

Maybees, dog was indeed snoring poor creature was probably a bit traumatised! I'm not cut out for country trecking. I ended up dumping all the boots (inc my own leather ones), into the washing machine & dryer & they seem to have come out fine which is amazing!

Mumfun, I've become a bit hermit aswell. I couldn't tell you when I was last out & being honest I'm quiet happy here in my own little world with dc's. Glad you enjoyed your trip & if you've more time on your next visit we might manage to meet up.

Ifyourhappy, really really sorry to hear there's no improvement on the ds front yet. Hang in there, it will pass! I'm the same as you, every now & then when I've free time I start to read the other threads & yes the penny does seem to be dropping! I can feel slightly squirmish now if I reflect too much on it, wondering was he buying me off with a lavish lifestyle & showering me with expensive presents etc.. . I hadn't a clue, blinded by love & really believed he'd never really hurt or betray me . Sometimes I feel like you, that I'd never want another man again (except for shagging purposes). I'm worn out from my exh, my dc are very young & I just don't know if I'd have it in me to start over. Oh well, I'm just going to live each day well & see what life has to offer .

On the plus side, I'm going away for a residential weekend with college next weekend. We'll be working till 21.30 each night but it's going to be so strange for me to be spending two nights away from dc's! Despite it being a working weekend I'm really looking forward to the break away, change of scenery. Just need to get bloody assignment finished now!

Other good news, I've an interview to start volunteer work with WA next week.

Excuse spelling!!!!!!!!!!

mmm StartingOver, a weekend away! an interview too, things are looking up

Great news, I lived it Italy for 6 yrs before I met exh & I had a really good friend that I'd stayed in contact with. I used to visit her once a year & last time I saw her was when I was 7 mts pg with dd. Anyway, she ended up moving to Amsterdam & having a ds. Between everything that was happening with her & all my stuff with exh we'd lost contact. I'm ashamed to say I've been meaning to contact her mother for about two years for her address & never got around to it.

Anyway, to the point. My friends from college were pushing me to set up a facebook account. Well I set up an account & my friend has just found me . I'm really really happy.

On an aside, another friend from Italy has also just found me & one of her friends that popped up was a guy I had a drunken roll in the hay with in my mis-spent youth about 20yrs ago, really freaky to see him looking back at me............

Fu*k, I need to up-date my facebook pic if all these people are going to be looking at me........I'd just slapped on a cute one with dc's. Need to try & find one that shows off my best assest (push up bra etc..) (grin)

Fantastic news Startin' xciting times ahead.
Mumfun big waves, holiday sounds fab.
Happy big hugs re ds.I also agree that any new man will be a total sex object and only chosen for technique and trouser package .Told H I was goin to be available this summer and we are movin on.Dont know wot he will do but every day stronger about the situation .Had a massive clear out of his shed of empty cans.Empties stashed everywhere, just makes me more determined .Went to alanon last nite and everyone was amazed at my strength,read out in front of everyone and really enjoyed my night.As long as I stay strong I can do this.
I agree Happy that when you read other threads you realise men are such immature selfish twunts.Opens your eyes,its the script that gets me, like they get sent a letter approaching 40yo and they all start reciting off the same page.
Fecking idiots!

Lovely evening here,blue skies ,mountains look fab!

Maybe we should all climb a Scottish mountain this summer only half hour from Glasgow airport.

Come and climb -then drink lots of wine!!!
Or just a walk at the lochside -promise no mud Startin'

Take care
chin up ,tits out, boots on !

Waves to all dumpettes & lurkers,

Evening Maybees, glad to hear you're in top form. I just might be on for that scotish mountain climb......will have to leave heels at home . Glad you got to another alanon meeting last night, great to keep your spirits up.

I threw my hermit ways to the wind tonight & braved it out of the house for an hour. Went to a similiar group that I'm involved in. Strange thing is that I'd made no effort to dress up or anything but was feeling good & everyone commented I was looking fab, must be getting my paz back!! I don't know was it stepping out of doors again after dark or the compliments but I have a real craving type urge for sex!!!!!! Am up to my eyeballs trying to get assignment done & all I can think about is sex.......If I still feel this way next week, I think I'll be paying puppy a visit .

Anyway, during my distraction from assignment I was reading a thread here that recommended the following book : Leaving Him Behind: Cutting the Cord and Breaking Free After the Marriage Ends by Sandra S. Kahn. I've just ordered a copy on amazon & said I'd share this nugget with my fellow dumpettes! Two posters said it completely turned their lives around!!!! Watch this space!!!!!!!

P.S. Maybees holiday fund going well, up over 300 euro so far & while I was attempting to clean leaves from garden today I discovered a brand new bike belong to exh in a cover next to shed . I also discovered two brand new slendertones a few days ago!!!! I kid you not, that man would have bought sand in a desert!!! I haven't even started on attic yet.......

Both slendertones sold .

Hiya

Starting -were both the slendertones bought by DH (wonders why that would be - odd?)

Anyway congrats on holiday fund. sounds very good!

Mb - mountain climb sounds good - would need to be a good bit fitter though

Starting that book sounds excellent -looking forward to hearing your take on it!

Strange week -with big medical appointments for DS and I. Mine went off uneventfully and now awaiting DS'.

Other than that looking forward to a bit of a relax at half term - a few outings but also some duvet days as the kids are tired.

Hope some more of the dumplings come back to help hold the fort soon!

Went on a zip wire 2day in the park with kids and jack russell chasing me !

Startin' you're on fire!Clear out therapy with a healthy profit !

Mumfun good luck for this week,plenty of wee hills too around here(Ive never climbed a mountain in my life but I bet the view is fab!)Def going to be one of my 2010 things 2 do !

Love and hugs x

Evening all
Lovely night out with friend tonight
Girlie chats are the best
So much happier in my own space without BE
Starting - looking forward to book feedback - just love ANY book so keen to see what you think
Waves at Mumfun and Maybees

Evening Fellow Dumpettes, am still burning the midnight oil with assignment but am nearly done tg.

Had a friend call earlier with her 2 dc's & house was trashed, have just abandoned last of it till tomorrow.

Mumfun, you are correct exh bought both slendertones, exercise bike, state of the art threadmill, real bike, weights, two ab crunchers and various other strange implements. He still managed to be about 4st overweight. I on the other hand am lazy when it comes to exercise, eat loads of crap, smoke like a trouper & am as fit as a fiddle . Oh, and I forgot to mention the sauna.......

Hope your ds's medical goes ok. Mine will only have two days off for midterm so not much of a break.

Maybees, you put me to shame with all your country treking!!

Hi Ifyourhappy, glad you had a nice night out. Hope things have settled a bit for you. I love my own space too, it's great. When friend called this evening, I just went with the flow, left dc's play, got take away instead of cooking, late to bed & house in chaos but it was grand. There's a plus to everything!

Find I'm thinking of exh less & less so I hardly need the book but just want to be sure to be sure. I'll pass on any tips when it arrives.

Ds has shared his cold with me and dd.
Feeling pretty lousy so txt H to take ds{who is now better} to sports centre 2nite.
Silly girl....
After pretty hopeless conversation which ended with him putting the phone down on me
he sends me a message"Just when I was thinking of us getting back 2gether"

Nearly pmsl

Toodle pip !

Hi Maybees, ah jaysus, my exh was like that at times as well.

We must be connected in some way because I've come down with an awful bloody cold aswell. I could really do without it this weekend what with going away & all.

Waves to all other dumpettes......

Anyone know how to get the smell of sour milk out of car?? Dd spilt milk in car & despite washing where I thought it had spilt there is a horrible smell in my car that nothing is getting rid of. I've two people from college travelling with me tomorrow for 2 hrs in car ...............any ideas??

I use milton steriliser fluid for everything stinky.You get a trigger spray ready mixed bottle out the chemist -worth a try ,have a great weekend,hope you got your work finished.
Going to buy a big bar of chocolate 2morrow and have a lazy evening ,nite nite !

Thanks Maybees, going to check if I have some now & if not will purchase in morning. Assignment done tg, just need to print off now.

Was on phone to my mother earlier & was asking if she'd be free to mind dc's on wed if court case runs late. She asked was I in court over maintenance & I said no, dv charges. Do you know what the first & only think out of her mouth was........."Oh God, I hope it won't be on the paper". I managed to keep my cool (barely), & said we'd a lifetime of that crap (keeping up the appearances!), surely at this stage we can move on from it??

My mother was a crap mother to us growing up, my poor brother died only 6 wks ago, her daughter confesses she is in court with exh on dv charges & the only thing she can say is I hope it isnt on the papers! Wouldn't want to have been relying on motherly support anyway!!!!!!! It's no wonder I married a fu*king asshole with a mother like that.

Right, got that out of system, will regain serenity now .

Ok, I only had the ordinary Milton & not the spray type but had a bottle of dettol spray so have doused car in that. Finger crossed smell will be gone in morning . Thanks.

Blimey Starting, I'm not surprised that you're hacked off with your mum's reaction. Some support and sympathy would be good wouldn't it? You'll get it here if not from her so keep talking to us!

IMO you're doing brilliantly and an inspiration!

Sounds like you need and jolly well deserve a good weekend. Hope all goes well and that you return refreshed and ready to face the week ahead.

Have a quiet weekend planned. I will be shopping at some point today or tomorrow in preparation for valentines day. I made a decision last year during a time in my life I shall refer to as "twunt time" that valentines day is a day of self love and indulgence. This means that in preparation for this event, various smelly and luxurious bath and beauty things are purchased so that I can truly spoil myself on the day. In fact, I'm just wondering whether there is a day spa open so I can pop in for a treatment..I'll check that out.

Morning All,

Thanks Ifyourhappy, for kind words of support. Had a bad night last night (mother issues)! Woke to letter from solicitor stating that exh is taking me to court for access & claiming "I've frustrated, been unreasonable & denied his attempts to have access with the kids". Can you believe that, I did the complete opposite & in fact continued allowing him access despite his aggressive & unreasonable behaviour because I thought it would be best for dc's.

Gloves are off ladies! This time if judge asks me what I would like have happen to exh, I'll say throw away key . I'm going to request a psychiatric assessment.

Ifyourhappy, I love your idea of self love for Valentines, brilliant.

Finally, my book arrived this morning so I will report back any words of wisdom when I've a chance to look through it.