Morning all, sorry to hear about common link of problems with dc's. Conversation with younger dc's this morning during school run was "do you remember when daddy was shouting mum" etc. I just use these conversations as an opportunity to explain again why people don't like shouting etc. I think my ds goes through stages of trying to mimic exh's behaviour because at times if I correct him for shouting he will say "but daddy shouts mum" .
It's a bummer sometimes, not only have we the trauma of our ex's to deal with but we're often left carrying the can with all the behavioural issues with dc's aswell!
Anyway, ifyourhappy, just take it a day at a time & pat yourself on the back for doing so well up to now. You've done the best you could & maybe ds is learning some valuable life lessons at the moment. That is what I tell myself with my own ds anyway, better he gets it out of his system now then inflict it on some poor woman down the line!
Maybees, that loyalty to h despite his behaviour, I could write a book on it! Bad behaviour doesn't deserve loyalty but I think the opposite has been engraved into us & some habits are hard to change. Sorry you didn't get to meet up with your RL friend, hopefully you'll get to catch up soon.
I just checked & message is still on exh's phone, I'm going to check again when I've finished this & if it's still there I'm ringing the police. I've left him away with too much in the past & he just thinks he's above the law (police also said this). He's probably been served with the papers for court case in two weeks and this is probably his way of lashing out. Thank god the dc's are not having contact, he'd destroy them with his poison.
I'd a nightmare about him last night in which he broke into the house & trashed the place. I had locked myself into bedroom but I lost my voice from shock & couldn't ring police!! Think the message in that is that I need to stand up for myself & make sure I have a voice . On that note, I'm off to check message!