ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Maybees, Spent the past hour and a half tidying house, hoovering & making lunches!

I've heard it all a thousand times what you described above, it's like a broken record & they all keep playing the same tune. It's all your fault, poor me, I love you, I'd never hurt you blah, blah, blah.....Your the bitch Maybees & my advice to you is to get used to it.

You can't care for him as long as he's on a path of self destruction. You need to create stability for yourself & dc's. The only way your h will get stability is by addressing his addiction problems for himself.

My h was the pillar of society, he depended on his reputation & it meant everything to him, he now has a six mt suspended sentence....

I can still really miss h & the good times we shared but I miss who he used to be not who he has become!

Evening Fellow Dumplings, hope you are all in good spirits. Well this thread is falling flat so we need to try & revive it.

Have great news to share with my fellow dumplings & I want you to share my joy. I've posted several adverts today in classifieds sellings exh's threadmill, exercise bike, weights, and several other items . If I manage to off load them all, I'll have a nice holliday for me & dc's {grin] & . I think I've already sold my first item (only one of the smaller things, but a start). Yippee, small victory!

Sounds like great news StartingOver - a holiday!

And I hope you'll be spending some of the money to come and see us too.

All okish this end. Nothing major to report. Any news on puppy?

Have heard nothing from Loobs - hoping she is ok.

Hi Ifyourhappy, hope all's well with you. If I manage to off load this lot I will move on to the contents of my attic, that contains all sorts of new stuff (ex was a compulsive buyer). Also have his cd & dvd collection, his state of the art sony ipod ! I may even have a watch or two from his watch collection that I might have overlooked when I was packing his stuff & . I will be making money & clearing crap from the house all at the same time, win, win, situation. I might indeed stretch to a trip accross the waters.

I can't understand myself about puppy. I keep meaning to contact him to meet up but haven't had the motivation yet. I guess I'm busy enough with dc's & college etc. I'll no doubt take a trip one of these days but I don't feel the need at the moment (nice to have on back burner though)!

Hi all

Starting . Having major clearouts here - but nothing of the value of stuff in your house!! Giving a lot away actually but a few pounds may be made along the way.

Things very calm here. Kids happy which is great. Looking forward to our trip across the water

Dutchy -how haave the dates gone?

If youre -glad things are ok

Hope Loobs is all right

Hope Beauty is all right

A few interesting developments re separated H but not reportable on MN

Trying to get my tax return done Run small business from home so have to do it )

Have lined up a good few weekends doing nice stuff over next while. A lot of friends being supportive and trying to make some new ones

TTFN

MumFun,

I had one very successful date! Will follow it up with second date but had small operation this week so I am recovering from that at the mo.

He is very charming, intelligent and funny, not totally sure if he is a player or not, no idea how to find out discreetly though!

Hi all.

Starting - hope you meet your holiday jackpot

Not much to report here. DS1 is a bit of a cause for concern, his nursery teacher has worries about the fact that when we move he will be in big school and she's not sure he'll cope that well . Also, his food issues are getting worse so I have some work to do. Anyone know how to get a child to try new food (and please don't suggest I make broccoli into little trees. Been there. Doesn't work)

Hope all is good on Dumpette Island.

Hi all

Tax return uuurgghh - I need to start mine but hate doing them!

StartingOver - every cloud has a silver lining then by the sound of it! What did you decide about college in the end btw? And on puppy, know the feeling about sometimes taking a while to get round to things. I am STILL a bit dazed following twunt exit (although still good to have lost the tummy feeling).

Mumfun - good on you having a clearout too! unfortunately I'm still at the stage where I turn my back and discover that twunt has removed a few things from the house (some may well be his or "ours" but nevertheless we never actually agreed that he would pop back occasionally and remove anything he fancied!)

Hi Mumfun, when are you coming accross the water? Do you have time for a meet up? I'm in the south (if you do you can contact me on [email protected]).

I'm forever giving away stuff to friends & family but said I'd see if I could sell some stuff this time as the threadmill was v expensive & brand new & some of the other stuff the same. I sold my first item today . Unfortuately, it was the smallest thing so I'm only 35 euro richer but it's a start to holiday fund hopefully .

Sorry to hear things not great re exh been there, got the hat! Idem for tax returns!

Glad to hear you've organised some nice stuff for yourself. I've also been making a few new friends. Best friend never returned any of my calls after fiasco over date with MD . I'm trying to look at it as being part of the new me for the new year. It's v hard to believe however that she through nine years of friendship away over something so trivial . Chin up, tits out!

My sd is coming to stay tomorrow night so I'm thinking I might organise a meet up with puppy.

All is v good here tg, have settled into calm & happy times with dc's. Only cloud on horrizon is that I've to go back to court with exh in Feb & when I think about it (which I'm not really allowing myself to), I feel v paniky! I would have thought after facing it the last time it would be easier this time but for some reason the minute the thought comes into my head I feel raw panic & fear . I think I'm terrified he'll be sent to jail this time & I'll be forever the bitch that destroyed his life .

Hello Dutchy and Mavis - looks like I xposted!

Good for you Dutchy!

Mavis - my only suggestion is for new food to be introduced when DC visits friend's house. IME kids tend to eat anything when they're out (or more anyway)

Evening Dumplings, sorry xposted with many there, the problem is I start a response but may have to run up & down stairs 50 times to dc's before I actually get to post it .

Dutchy, hope you have a speedy recovery. Great news about the date. Best of luck & of course keep us up-dated.

Mavis, I empathise with you on trying to get ds to eat new food or broccoli! I'm no help as youngest dd just refuses to eat most of the dinners I cook & I've just adopted the approach that life's too short to stress about the trivialities, so I just leave her off. I've given up the battle, she eats plenty of fruit & dairy, & won't die of starvation. Not the answer you were probably looking for .

As for not coping in big school, again why not just see how it goes & if he doesn't seem to be coping can he not just repeat the year?? That's what usually happens over here anyway, not sure if there's a different approach there.

Ifyourhappy, got that sounds awful about ex just taking stuff from house. If you're properly separated surely he can't just breeze in and take stuff?

I haven't made a decision on college yet, I'm just going to send in the application for next week & buy myself some time for now. I've been checking out some options but it's going to take a bit longer to get answers.

Dah! My first post should have read "threw" not through!!!

Its war on mice week in my house!It might have been -14c outside recently but they still have no right to eat my food(dont they know i'm on a budget)also ate a pair of trousers and forcing me to do serious housework.Going to set some traps tonight!cat seems to have sloped off since the split in a sort of fuck her pact with my husband and now Tom has arrived(Time Of the Month).Startin dont you dare feel guilty about ex H !!!!!!He did whatever he did and def not ur fault.Give me a slap if I ever say I want to get back with ex ,leopards and spots and all that stuff x
Ps note to self really need to start wearing a bra again ,even with arms above my head tits looking a bit sad,look at their best when im lying on my back so their is hope!

Maybees, count yourself lucky you have tits . After two and a half years of breast feeding (devided between 3 dc's), I can't possibly go without a bra or you'd see I've only been left with two rather large nipples , sorry tmi! Be free, if you've got it flaunt it.

Sometimes it's hard to give up the fairytale ending (he'll change, we'll live happily ever after ), despite logic telling us differently!! I'm a long way down the road & really only gave up on the happy ending a few mts ago!

Sorry to hear you're doing battle with mice now instead ow ex ! Nothing like a bit of distraction to keep you on track.

Since breastfeeding my nipples point outwards whats that all about,definate left and right turn .Traps set ~ mice you have been warned !

Hi all. Starting - thanks for the wise words re ds1, was just having a bit of a stress last night, not helped by xH saying that ds1's food issues are being made far worse by the fact I'm anxious about it (probably true) that he should just eat junk food to ket him eating and that he won't support me in trying to get ds1 to eat properly as it's 'just a phase' (a phase incidentally which has been going on for 3 out of the less than 4 years of his life) >>not at ds1.

Still, had a better day today so that's good.

WRT the adverse effect of breastfeeding and childbearing in general here is the conversation I had with ds1 after my shower this morning...

DS1: Mama. What are those?
Me: They're breasts darling. For feeding DS2.
DS1: (prodding) They're a bit wobbly mama.
Me: Thank you DS1.
(pause)
DS1: Mama?
Me: Yeeessss DS1.
DS1: You're tummy's a bit wobbly too.

Pass the wine....

Mavis, that gave me a laugh. Oh the joys of dc's, they always tell it like it is. I've broken out in spots at the moment & convinced myself they weren't too noticable until dd pipes up.....omg mum your face looks terrible, are your spots sore!!!! I was going to organise to meet up with puppy tonight as sd is hear to babysit but that knocked any enthuasism right out of me!! Pj's & comfort food I think.........

I don't know starting - isn't that what the low light of candles are for???

Mavis just to say my dd 3yo changes mind about food likes and dislikes all the time .Sometimes clears her plate sometimes eats hardly anything all day .I try to do fun things like fruit kebabs (well maybe twice a year)that they can cut the pieces themselves and thread onto the wooden skewers with squirty cream or core an apple and slice it into rings ,would he find it fun to cook with you?Do you get a chance with little baby, I just remember life been mental at that stage ds prob survived on tuna pasta , weetabix and toast til dd was at least a year x

Thanks maybees. Trouble is I've tries literally everything with him -

choosing food from cookbook
shopping for ingredients
cooking together
ignoring refusals
bribing
shouting

the lot! I've lost count of the amount of times people have commented on just how stubbon he is - he just won't try anything new and will literally eat a handful of food stuffs (mind you give him cake or ice cream and watch him go). Volume wise ds2 (9 months) eats more than ds1 (3.7 years)

Have decided to completely back off for a bit about it all. He's had a crap year really so should cut him some slack.

Anyway, back to the job in hand...hope everyone is having a good night apologies for the small child based whinge

Wow mavis you tried all that with a dinky doo aswell you are a super star!Hope everyone has a fab weekend x

Maybees, I'm impressed, I'd never have thought of cutting an apple into rings. All of mine love apples (3-4 a day). Will have a bit of fun with this tomorrow.

Mavis, it's hard going, I also think my youngest dd didn't get the healthy eating habits that my other two had due to all the crap going on. I wouldn't stress over it, it'll come right in the end. As long as he's happy & content that's the main thing. Did you try him with strawberries, blackberries, blueberries etc (my dd loves these). Fruit smoothie drinks?? Mine love these but as maybees said I do them maybe twice a year (hate cleaning the bloody juicer). Little homemade pizzas?? Spaghetti with homemade mince sauce??

going to raid the fridge now ,bloody starvin'after that startin'
dd got barking cough and temp , goin to be another hugs, tears, and snot kinda nite!
Thinking of having a day returning any xmas pressies that I can 2morrow .Few odd m&s pj type things and also underwear from H.Think it shows how mixed up guy is that he even went there,we were seperated by then.Anyway I need the money so will try and return it and also investigate best tits out garments to attract fit single men for general flirting and ego boost .

Hi all

Just returned after a 24 hour sejour. Have had a lovely girlie trip away which always works wonders .

Friends have been briefed to find me a "suitable" date who will truly want me with my new underwear (or without I wish).

I woke up last night thinking about you actually Starting and the court thing you have coming up. I forgot to mention it before but I hope you're feeling ok about it and getting the support you need from some friends in RL. Come and talk to us whenever you want to about it as I know not all RL people are not being as supportive as they could be.

Just a quick hi everyone. Im still alive but little interesting to report. Did have lovely weekend though - one day with kids with friends at a museum and one day without kids at friends house (or mostly friends) - thats another interesting point! How have all your friendships survived split. A few of mine are very complex - hmmm. But Im negotiating it all better then I was.

Anyway more underwear is arriving and some lovely new clothes so am deffo more tits out than I was. Am lucky that tits survived bfeeding - just

Feeling a bit better abot everything at present - but know another down time will be around the corner sadly. Doing all the firsts is hard but Im told it gets better after that.

Kids are being really great at present -mine have always beeen very keen on eating so I am much lazier than you in my food efforts - but very impressed by your imagination.

ANyway ironing with my new iron and listing some gorgeous cloth nappies for sale is on the agenda next plus a couple of phonecalls - ironing is good as its very multitaskable!

TTFN