ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Hello all - just marking for later. Hope everyone is ok.

Ok girls, I have a Match coffee date next week so I need some advice on what to wear.

It is going to be quite interesting as we work in the same industry, had long chats on the telephone, he seems nice, quite handsome, lots of banter and bit naughty.

I have some business meetings to go to on the same day so it has to be fairly respectable, tiny bit sexy but not desperate would be nice.

I don't want to wear a suit as that is boring, I do have some cute Karen Millen dresses in black/white, pink/white/black or purple or blue, quite fitted but not over the top ie no cleavage showing. High heels or boots?

Is there something like a lucky date outfit?

Hello everyone, oldies and newbies alike!

Apologies for being MIA - no exciting reasons and no excuses at all.

Loobie - hope today went as well as it could for you.

Dutchy - Karen Millen dress sounds good, apart from that just wear something that makes you feel good but comfortable from the woman in both a jumper and a cardi

Well good news here - I had my long anticipated interview on wednesday and I've just been offered a place on teacher training to start in September!
It means moving myself and the dcs, finding full time childcare for them both and a loads of hard work but it's a step in the right direction and I'm really pleased...just have to break the news to H now.

Anyway, off to check out dating sites read ofsted reports for new place now. Catch up soon!

Hi all

Dutchy - clothes described all sound good!

Mavis - great news on the teachers training

Loobs - hope all ok with you today

(Retail therapy planned for me)

Evening Dumplings,

Loobie, my thoughts are with you & family today.

Dutchygirl, that's great news. I'd go for something that makes you feel v relaxed. Something comfortable & not too tight. If I'd any cleavage left, I wouldn't see anything wrong with showing it off.

Mavis, that is fantastic news, well done to you . What a great opportunity & a fresh start, the very best of luck with it all.

Ifyourhappy, enjoy the retail therapy.

Well, I've been feeling a little sorry for myself tonight. This is my college weekend & for various reasons, lots of stuff/events etc with dc's, organising the childcare for today & tomorrow has been a nightmare, not to mention what it's costing me. Anyway, have to start making a decision about next year soon, wether to continue with this degree (which involves about 9 residential workshops next year), or try to transfer to a different college that offers same course spread out over two nights every week & most sat's (will take an extra yr).

Was begining to feel a bit overwhelmed & thinking should I just take a year out. My family are not really available to offer the support I'd need, dc's have no access with exh so that's a non runner and I'm finding it really hard juggling everything (and this is the easiest year). So anyway was on a bit of a downer when I've just had the brilliant idea of getting an aupair next year. All of a sudden I feel more positive. Then I came on here and read Mavis's thread & the lengths she's going to in order to achieve her goal & it gave me the kick in the ass I needed. Thanks.

One way or another I'm going to try to find a way to keep going. How does getting an aupair sound??

Au pair sounds great. May give you just enough help to make college a really positive experience

I've had one before and it was a very good experience - we were lucky I know but I'm sure you would be lucky too. If my kids were younger I would definitely do it again.

I can fill you in more if you need more info (try this link. Of course there are male and female options . CAT me if you'd like more specific info.)

StartingOver,

My friend has a French male au pair for her kids, it makes her life so much easier, she says it is the best thing she has done in a long time so I would say go for it.

Startingover - an au pair sounds great - I've just looked at the link from ifyourhappy and it looks like a great option. Sadly my youngest dc is too young for this to be an option for me so will have to go through the childminding route but will certainly consider this in the future.
Anything that helps you complete your studies is a good thing. I have literally no idea how I'm going to cope financially/emotionally from September but there's always a way, isn't there?!

Had a lovely day with ds2 today - ds1 is with his father this weekend. Hope everyone is having a great weekend.

Oh Dumplings, I feel so depressed please someone give me a bit of positivity or a slap whatever people think I need. Had a rough day at college, house is like a bomb hit, dc's are mental (punishing me for my absense I'd say).

To top it all off, we were discussing our schedule for next year today & even with an aupair there's is no way I'd manage it. I'd have to commit to 5 two day, 3 four day & 2 five day residential workshops. The dc's are too young to leave with an aupair for five days & I just couldn't leave them for that length of time.

Have no idea where I can go from here. I'm just feeling down right now, like everything is such a bloody stuggle. To top it all off eldest dc is asking again can she ring daddy.

Starting - sorry you've had a rough day. Have you spoken to your student support people they may be able to offer good advice. Alternatively is there any way you can transfer to a different institution that would allow you to continue? I've spent the last couple of years studying with the OU which is great (although a bit isolating).

Don't worry about anything tonight. Try and relax, glass of wine, idle surfing/TV give puppy a ring.

You've had a shit time of it lately, you will be able to sort it!

You are a dumpette, ergo, invincible

Thanks Mavis, only just finished sorting house now, dc's asleep tg. Will have to tackle b'sitter first, she only had them 4hrs as my mother had them before that & obviously they trashed the place because they were ignored. She was only minding younger two dc's as my mother kept older dd & 4yo was able to tell me she was in other sitting room watching telly .

There is no other way around the residential part, there is no flexibility except in an emergency/death etc. Can transfer to another college but the course isn't as good & times will be v difficult to juggle. Will have to check out other avenues. This is a stand alone yr anyway so it won't go wasted even if I have to take a few yrs out.

Am feeling less depressed now anyway, will just have find another avenue.

I had actually thought that a session with puppy might be just what I need at the moment so could indeed move in that direction over next few days

Dear Starting, so sorry to hear you're having a shitty time ( am talking to BF at the moment so if I lapse and descend mistakenly into obscenity, please forgive me - I like you a lot but have no desire to exchange mucky photos with you/do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel/lick Nutella off your naked body ).

This time of year is crap, things always seem worse , problems seem insurmountable - added to that you've had a dreadful time over the past few years . You're grieving,be gentle with yourself.
Solutions will appear - either you'll think of them or something will come up,perhaps we'll have that Dumpling commune and all look after each other's DC .

Don't be getting fed up - we're Dumplings - chin up,tits out.

Hello to everyone else - love to Looby, I was thinking about you yesterday. Mavis, congratulations - are you training North of the Border ? if so and if you ever have any questions you would like putting to my < cough > contact, feel free to send me a message.

Right I'm off, filth to peddle,erections to provoke

I'm thinking the Dumpette motto should be extended...

Chin Up. Tits Out. Erections to provoke.

Hi Caramela, thanks for that. I know you're right, a solution will appear, I'm just not seeing it right now! Have another search page open at the mo & I'm checking all my transfer options, no feasible one yet. Fuck, fuck, fuck........ have to submit a detailed application before tues!

Just following on from the whole chin up tits out thing, I feel like saying fuck the whole lot & blowing off a bit of steam by getting my tits out to puppy!

Enjoy your filth !

Sadly Mavis my Latin isn't quite up to that - I may do some research though ....

Starting - go on - I dare you !

Filth update - gently warming up, outbreaks of porn talk expected, 83% chance of erections.

All seems very active today . Can see that things are a bit up and down for us right now but feel a good year coming for us all (anyone read Eat, Pray, Love?)

StartingOver, feel sure that solutions will appear as Caramela said. Sometimes it just takes a few days for them to emerge.

Truly tits out today as spent day buying glorious underwear (I just love underwear ). Despite that 0% chance of erections here . Perhaps will update my dating profile with piccie of me in new underwear ( maybe not).

Ifyourhappy, thanks for the vote of confidence. I love buying underware too (even though I'm now restricted to gel filled push up!). Don't post underware pics or you'll get loads of PPT's! Have patience & do a bit of visualisation to see if it brings anyone along .

Have just spotted on the website that I've another wk for application so tg that will give me a bit of breathing space (and time to persue the dare Caramela).

Just googled eat, pray & love, will put it on list to read! Have book for bookclub gathering dust & not even started when I'm meant to have it finished next wk, have a stack of books for college to read & assignment & presentation to do, so will be a while ......

Off to bed.......

Thanks StartingOver, am visualising like crazy. Have not put photo of me in underwear on dating site (actually don't have many good photos of me btw which is maybe the problem!) but nevertheless still seem attract weirdos only. Keep going onto site and finding messages from people called things like Knobjockey1 and TiptonJoe - I'm not that desperate. I will have to put my energy into creating something a bit more like this I think dulwich divorcee (only my version )

Hi Ifyourhappy, am sorry about your plight, to be honest I'm v pessamistic about there being any normal males to be found on any of the dating sites. I only had the tolerance to briefly check them out but they all seem to be either wierdos or perverts here anyway.

Have you any chance of meeting anyone in RL?

I think you could be right.

I do sound a bit desperate don't I despite me saying the contrary?

I suppose it is possible I could meet someone in RL, I just wandered onto the dating site for a dabble really. Don't know about you but I'm actually probably only ready for a dabble () rather than anything else at the moment as the idea of settling down with someone else certainly doesn't appeal right now. Having a lot of fun with RL friends nowadays - nice being able to do things I enjoy after horrible time with twunt who sucked the life out of me and was no fun.

CAN I JOIN YOU ALL PLEASE.... well today I called it a day after three years. We have a baby togther and had all intention of us living at my house but he has been honest today and said he cannot to protect his son as thinks i will not tret my children the same as his son. I would as my daughters have had step mum with my ex partner and been brillinat and know how much that makes them happy. I dont agree with some parenting isses at all and would change those as i beleiv children need boundries and rules but we wouldhave got help and discussed this. I have been very down as have very sick baby myself waiting atransplant. I have had no love or support so decided that i would end it.

I do have a broken heart i really do but must stsay strong for my kids.

Hi Ifyourhappy, I'm definately only ready for dabbling hense puppy etc... My twunt also sucked the life out of me.

Oh Crazycrew, that sounds terrible. Have ye tried couple counselling?? Is there any hope left at all?? You sound like you've a lot to cope with between baby waiting for a transplant & trying to work a family with his son & your dd's. Welcome aboard & rant all you want.

Just had a stressed end to my day, H sent a 3 word text to say he wasnt coming over to see kids tonight as planned , I called him and he sent a text "dont phone" he messed up our saturday too and I just thought you know what; I need to do something about this to protect myself and my emotions.So I texted him and said he can see the kids at the weekend ,have a think during the week about things and phone me on friday .Asked him to be civilised regarding any conversations we have for the sake of the kids.This is a boundary for me ,I cant cope with this turning up when he likes nonsense.Im doin ok most of the time but whenever I have to deal with him I have to face the reality that the man that I married isnt here anymore and im left with someone selfish and unfeeling .This is when I feel weakest so I have to learn to cope with that in a more positive way.
Good news is we are no longer snowed in .I was having to park my car 15 mins away and walk x/country with dog, kids and shopping for last 4 wks so that is definately worth smilin' about !
Away to dry my hair and give myself a manicure x

Hi Maybees, I've also have a stressfull end to the day but for different reasons. Two younger dc's have been a nightmare today & are still awake. If I've to go up the stairs once more tonight I'll scream.

I know exactly where you're at, I had all of that too in the earlier stages. What you said about the man you married not being there anymore is really the truth. I found that very hard to accept and still can on a bad day. My h was loving, kind, considerate, encouraged me to do anything I wanted, adored dc's, I know he adored me & then he turned into a monster & slowly but surely every last bit of the man I knew disappeared. He did stuff that was lower than low, left dc's down, filled dd's head with nasty stuff about me and on & on.

I think setting up boundaries is all you can do for now. My h kept cancelling set times with the dc's aswell & in the end I cut access down to two set times a week. Unfortunately that didn't last long either but hopefully your h will be different.

I can empathise with trecking dc's & shopping accross country as I'd to do the same when we were snowed/iced in.

I've had to go upstairs twice while I've been typing this, dd is finally asleep but ds is still going strong & I'm losing the will to live.........

ok just phoned H thought if he picks up i will explain my text so we both understand not meant to be nasty just practical.Steamin' drunk like complete professional alcoholic on the other end of the phone ,everything you read about ,ticked all the boxes ,crying he tells me he is sorry, he loves me, he loves the kids, he is just f*cked up.But before long he is giving it but I like a drink you did this to me you put me here!I'm thinking I want to care for you just to give you some stability but if you keep blaming me I cant ~just too much for me and kids to cope with but he is going to end up in trouble with the police.This guy never missed a days work in his life,loving caring guy .I really miss him but need to keep us safe.
Bedtimes getting a bit random here too.Started bathing them at six(usually 7)to try and fox them but still seem to run around playing tag til they run out of steam x