startingovernow, I know exactly what you mean about the "well, this is it for me now, a life of drudgery" comment. I've had that exact same thought 6 billion times.
That's loneliness, isn't it? Without a partner, life does seem to be an unbreaking cycle of drudgery/shouting/responsibility/cleaning/what's for bloody dinner/where are your pants? (The DC, not you, although...)/Stop doing that/When is it bedtime?/No/Because I said so/etc
We look back all rosily and the old life does seem to be a rose-tinted parade of cosy DVDs and takeaways on the sofa, dancing in the kitchen, sex, walking in to parties together, laughing, sharing the load. But it can't have been like that, or this wouldn't have happened.
Anyway - I'm trying to do FlyLady just to get the housework done as quickly as possible, and to avoid it mounting up because that really stresses me out.
Don't know what you should do about MD. I worry that I might not ever appreciate a "nice" man, and that my low self-esteem means I find keen men unattractive. I hope that's not the case for you?
Just see him in a very light-hearted way, have lovely sex, and if he pushes for more, tell him you're not ready. Be honest but firm. He doesn't have to be "the One", does he? Let's face it, men spend YEARS with women they're not in love with, could you not do it for a few weeks, just to break up the loneliness? Don't get sucked into a 25-year marriage - just be honest but keep him in your life for a while.
That might be awful advice - am soooooooooooooo tired am practically in a coma.