ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Hello Dumplings I have just read through all the threads I missed as I have been so busy at work its silly season in the industry I work in and I have been working 6am to 7pm

Anyway as you can tell by the posting in the wee small hours I can't sleep ... startingover my heart went out to you over the BF thing and the BIL thing I'm glad you have come out the other side of it

Things with CLGS are going very well, no catch yet and I think I have stopped trying to find one just going to enjoy things.

The reason I can't sleep is that I was trying to maintain a friendly status with my ex because of DS and also because his mum is going to die soon as she has lymph cancer. MIL and I were always very close and I feel like I am losing my own mum if you know what I mean. Anyway the ex has a girlfriend aged 24 that has more or less installed herself 24/7 at the in laws house meaning that I can't visit because she does not like me and the ex being friends I really don't know what her problem is he left me for gods sake not the other way around but I miss my MIL so much I am sitting here crying as I type this because I just feel like I have been abandoned by his whole family now and i hate it. I know I'm being silly and I know I should just hold my head up and think sod em but it really hurts. I'm dreading that MIl will die and I won't even get chance to say goodbye and I'm dreading that I may not even get to attend her funeral

I want to retaliate and stop the silly 24 yr old bimbo ever meeting DS but that will just hurt DS because he will lose contact with his dad why oh why is life so complicated?!

Morning all. (Hands a bit cold to type).

Startingover, hoping you're tucked up in bed warm still and that that fever's dying down.

Loobs, glad to hear that CLGS still going well , but awful news on the MIL front. What's to be done? For me, it seems that the main thing on this one is your relationship with MIL and you getting to see her. Is there someone that you both know that understands it's important that can help you with this? Another relative or friend maybe?

Hi Happy it is cold you're right.

I have calmed down a bit now from the hysterics at 4am I am taking this afternoon off work and going round to see my lovely MIL whilst the bimbo is at work thank you for taking the time to reply

I'll report back later

Morning all,

Loobie, I feel so sorry for what you are going through. My MIL was like a mother to me too & she died 3mts ago. I was v nervous about attending the funeral aswell as it was only a few wks after I had got barring order against exh so tensions were running high to say the least. The family were great & in fact it was exh who ended up being asked to leave at one point when he kicked off.

I would try not to allow 24yo bimbo interfere with your relationship with MIL. Is there anyway you could bring someone with you & just go & visit her, ignoring bimbo? If not, I would just hold onto the good memories you have of MIL, nobody can take those from you.

My incident with BIL brought up that fear too that me & dc's are going to loose all that side of the family. After thinking about this for the past few days I've come to the following conclusions 1. I don't think rest of family will get involved either way. 2. With MIL gone family has kinda disintegrated anyway (central meeting point gone). 3. None of ex's family have been beating down my door to offer surport anyway. 4. In the long run, moving forward, it will probably suit me better not to have such a close bond to family i.e. if I eventually settle down with someone else it would make contact strained.

My point is that maybe you can look at this a different way, maybe MIL dying will help you to not be so connected to ex's family & to be truely able to move forward now in your own life. Allow yourself the time & space to grieve your loss though. I had a lot of grief for MIL dying & she was a huge loss to me & dc's.

Being honest the people I would be really upset about if they pulled away would be dsd & dss. I am hoping that will never happen though regardless of if I was in a new relationship or not.

Ifyourhappy, up at dawn with dc's . Am off shortly now to see dd2 in a little play they are doing in playschool .

I'm as fit as a fiddle & you wouldn't know there is anything wrong with me but I have a rare condition that effects the immune system so normal sickness like colds, flus etc can be a lot harder for me to shake off. Will just have to go with the flow now & hope it doesn't take too long to clear up.

Loobie, x post, so glad you're going to see MIL

Thanks Startingover I hope you enjoy the play. I think you are right when MIL dies I will ebb away from his family a lot and it will make new relationships easier too. My DS is their only grandchild so like you I hope he does not lose that contact and I will have to be grown up about DS having contact with bimbo he's a good lad if i do say so myself and I'm sure bimbo will never be a patch on me in DS eyes .

I am off there in 10 mins I know it will be emotional but it's something I have to do to move on

Well I cried lots was determined not to but that all went a bit pear shaped glad I went though, in a way it was quite good for me to cry it all out and say goodbye properly even if MIL did not realise fully that was what I was doing it's kinda drained me emotionally , this truly has been a cr*p year roll on 2010

Loobie, glad you got to do that & I agree this has been a crap yr for me too so roll on 2010! Hopefully you'll start to feel better now after visit.

yes I do eyes like a puffa fish sooooo not a good look but hey who cares?!

Hi Loobs - feeling ok today?

Hi Dumplings

Yes feeling much better slept eleven whole hours last night thanks to a couple of night nurse tablets, not got a cold but was desparate for some sleep it has done me the world of good

Loobie, so glad you're feeling better today. OMG, you're an advertisment for night nurse, sounds exactly what I need, am off to get some.

Mmmmm went for the mulled wine myself..just as good..

Hello everyone, I have to agree that Night Nurse is indeed good stuff - knocks me out cold and there aren't many things that can do that.

Loobie, I am really sorry about your MIL - she sounds like a lovely woman ( my MIL was like Hitler in a dress so I'm always a bit of people who have a really good relationship with theirs ), I'm sure that your continuing love and support means a huge amount to her .

Starting, have only had a very quick read - are you feeling any better ? I bet your immune system has taken an enormous battering as it is with all the stress you've had, even before you take your pre-existing condition into account.

Has Beauty got snow marks on her favourite boots and gone into deep mourning do we think ?

I'm waiting for BF to have another wobble, as Phil Collins so memorably sang ' I can feel it coming in the air tonight ' - with any luck I will be so sedated by carbohydrates and alcohol that it won't distress me until some time in the new year - here's hoping !

Hello all. Hope everyones run up to Christmas is going smoothly.

Loobie - sorry about your MIL

Caramela - I was up with ds2 for a couple of hours last night (we all have horrible lurgy) and I kept trying to work out a particular academic institution. I am still stumped [dim] but I will not be beaten. I will continue to ponder this over Christmas whilst xH is talking.
Carbohydrates and alcohol? It's the way forward methinks.

As mentioned we all have horrible colds and it's only the prevalence of David Tennant on the telly that's keeping me going. I have also already put on 6lbs and it's not even Christmas Eve yet. January will be mainly spent feeling guilty about all the mince pies.

Startingover - hope you're feeling better.

Where has Beauty got to??

Mavis, I worked dead hard at coming up with that clue too (and believe you me it's a real effort for me to think about anything) - we can play Blankety Blank, think of 'pounds - blank' . I think you've made a sterling effort.

Sorry about the lurgy - it's a nightmare at this time of the year, goes through the lot of em like a dose of salts I find. Have a drink

ahhhhh, clever.......

Not that far away then.

Right, would expand but the Divine Mr Tennant (the only Dr I'm interested in) is on again

No, not far away at all Mavis. I find old Tennant a tad skinny myself, he looks as though he might snap in two if you were a bit vigorous with him.

Oh behaaave. I find I've turned all middle aged housewife where DT is concerned. I suspect he would be ingenious...

'Ingenious' is a particularly attractive quality, I see what you mean ......

< shuffles off, a bit distracted, with no chance of any action >

Yeah. me too.

Evening Dumplings, Glad everyone seems to be doing ok.

Sad day for me & family today, my only brother died unexpectedly today (38).

Was in queue for santa with dc's bless them when I got call & had to leave. Can't sleep & have been busying myself hanging new curtains in ds's room & doing laundry!

Am determined to bring dc's for santa visit in the morning regardless of anything else & I know I will be able to enjoy it for dc's as they've been through so much already this year.

We're having funeral Thurs & poor dd asked tonight would it be finished early bless her, I think she was afraid santa mightn't come.

Am thinking I'm going to organise something nice for dc's with sds & sdd on Thurs & not bring them to funeral at all. I just want my dc's to have a lovely xmas & I know my db would not have wanted their xmas ruined.

Send me warm thoughts over next two days & sorry for more morbid posting from starting. 2010 will have to be a better year for me anyway.

StartingOver, I am so sorry to hear about your brother, I am sending you truck loads of warm thoughts. Surely 2010 has to be a better year for us Dumplings?

May be an idea to get a dog soon just to offer you some comfort. I got a German Shepherd from a animal shelter 7 years ago, he is HUGE , heavier than I am but he is fantastic with my little one. Last week she gave him a 'hair cut', not a single whimper from him, he now has bold patches all over his body, oops.

I have ordered a gorgeous toyboy from Father Christmas, see if he gets delivered, I could do with some distraction.

StartingOver

I am so sorry to read of this.

Warm hugs.

StartingOver really sad to hear your horrible news. 2009 has truly been a pretty awful year but I know that 2010 will be a great one for you and the DC's.

Hope today goes ok for you.

Agree on the dog suggestion. We are loving our cat....