ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Right Starting, exh's brother is hurt and unfortunately he decided, for whatever reason, to take it out on you. He knows the truth, he should be ashamed of himself - if he's a decent man he will see sense.

Your BF is insecure ? I presume she's not a teenager - she needs to stop being unreasonable and projecting her problems onto you, you have been through enough. Anyone who cares about you will consider your needs, if she chooses to ostracise you over this and behave like a petulant child that's her problem and not yours.

Starting, I don't think you'll lose extended family or BF. It might feel cr** but I expect that it's a case of emotional flooding on all fronts that will pass given a little time.

Suggest cuddles with the DCs, Dumpling support, some RL friend chatting (praps not BF right now), chocs, a nice glass of red and perhaps PJ's and an early night.

Things will feel better in the morning, I just know it , .

Hi Pumagirl, thank you so much for the advice. I had in fact thought of suggesting exactly what you said about MD & bf as a possible solution, which is why I had sent her a text to ring back (she was on phone so couldn't ring).

Am begining to think there's a lesson to be learnt in all this!! Maybe I am being pushed to stand up for myself more etc.. BF has been known to pull the piss at times. I'm going to leave it with her now & see what she comes back with.

I have just sent BIL a strong worded text saying that he had no right to speak to me like he did & that I took the steps necessary to protect dc's & myself etc..

Ok, thank you all so much, am begining to feel ok again. Unless I'm really not seeing things clearly it's BIL & BF that are behaving badly here. I spoke to BF indepth before persuing anything with MD & even asked her how she felt about it & she was all for it, thought we'd be a great match etc.. The real problem here is her marriage & lack of communication with her own dh.

Hi Caramela & Ifyourhappy, x posted, thank you both so much & you've all really helped pull me out of this. I'm already begining to feel ok, if I loose bf over this well that will say more about her then me. BIL can go take a flying fuck for himself, unless he send me a fairly prompt apology I will be having no more to do with him. If the rest of the family do the same then so be it, they won't be much of a loss really. Right that's it, I'm taking no more crap, I've had enough to do me a lifetime. Thank you dumplings, I feel the dumpling power course through my veins, I'm actually smiling now!

Caramela, I don't think BIL was hurt, I think it's more a case that exh has fed him a load of crap!!

Glad to hear it, Starting, fuck the fuckers, you're a Dumpling with our combined weight behind you. You have a good evening - it's the law ( I suggest sending a pornographic text to MD to lift your spirits ).

Up the Dumplings. Power to the Dumplings!

Starying -family will pull together so tbh dont expect anything from them. I certainly dont. H cousin met me - knows he has behaved badly, expressed her sympathy but said he was family! I did tell her not to believe anything he said about me!Youve done everything right - its just hard to have someone not treat you well. Right to text him too. Glad the other dumplings gave goodd advice on BF - you did your da*est and fully consulted her - if she has problems now sorry she needs to deal with them herself.

Have just booked flights for across water for Feb but sorry only flying visit. Meet up might be possible in summer when longer visit will take place.

Mavis -fab news on those results - dont know how you did it with dumping and Dcs ro deal with!

KK welcome aboard - it really is a life saver!

And Agin and Dutchy -fine dumplings like you will meet right person in next while - just got to deal with a few frogs and Penis texters first.

Loved your latest - Beauty. Am concentrating on DCs and Xmas for now. Thinking about Lovehoney order. Dont usually rate mechanical but sometimes dumplings must. Jealous of proper CL action and glad that MD and CLGS are keepers for now and techniques seem to get better!

Hope all have great weekends. Hi and chinsup/tits out to all other lovely dumplings!

Startingover - only just seen this - so sorry you're having a crapola day. Your BF can't dictate to you like this, she has to sort out her own relationship rather than trying to insulate herself from problems by controlling third parties. As for xBIL - no excuses. You have done the very best for yourself and your dcs. End of. Everyone is an adult here and he had his choices. He chose badly...

Would love to expand with a well reasoned argument that was insightful and supportive but I've had a couple of glasses of wine so it may just decend into no but yeah but.

Waves to all other dumpettes, hope you're all having a good Friday night.

Caramela - I'm intrigued - you're "down south" and BF is hundreds of miles north? Any clue to which intitution he's at as our respective twunts may be at the same place...

Have a lovely weekend all!

Dumplings, thank you all again so much for your support. TBH I know bf is out of line & I'm going to just take a step back & see if she comes to her senses anytime soon. I know this is to do with her and the trouble she's having with dh & nothing to do with me & MD, she had said as much herself. I just hope that she comes to her sense & that we can have a laugh about this & move on.

BIL can go to hell.

I just spoke to MD & he's on his way to offer comfort! He only knows about BIL as I didn't want to tell him about other thing on phone, so I'll have a chat with him now aswell & see what he thinks. I also spoke to another RL friend who said pretty much what you've all been saying on both issues.

Mumfun, I'd love to meet up if you're coming back over in the summer & at least I wouldn't be embarrassed about all my confessions of CL action now that you've confessed about the honeylove order.

Mavis, great to hear from you again & glad to hear the celebrations are continuing. Thanks for the dumpling support.

So Startingover, how did it go with MD? Hoping you're feeling better now after yesterday's traumas.

And how's it going, rest of Dumplings? Are many of you negotiating Xmas arrangements still with twunts or are you maybe more focused on Xmas dating action?

Mostly I'll be staying in trying to keep warm in front of the fire tonight...

Mavis, is the institution north of the border ? If so, we could be talking about the same place. Which is worrying. It's churning them out.

Starting, hope MD was particularly soothing last night.

Loobie, how are you and CLGS ?

Hello to my other fellow Dumplings, I'm off to find some booze and chocolate.

Evening Fellow Dumplings,

Was too tired last night to engage in CL activities but had a good chat with MD. Was meant to be going out for something to eat tonight but I came down with a bad headcold so postponed till tomorrow or Monday.

Not a word from BF or BIL but I'm ok about it now, there's nothing I can do on either front.

Ifyourhappy, dc's have no access with exh at the moment & I've been on to my sol to see if something could be arranged for xmas but I don't think he's going to look for any access . It's hard to believe the man I lived with who adored his dc's has turned in to this but given his recent behaviour I think it'll be easier all round. How are you going to manage access??

Waves to all other dumplings & hope w'end is filled with fun for all.

Morning Dumplings .

A bright sunny morning here and so off for some spending like many of you no doubt. (Looks a bit cold out there though...).

Sadly BE will be here with us for at least part of Xmas day. Not ideal but the way it has to be this year and kids needs to see their dad.

Glad you're feeling ok Startingover but shame about the cold...

Afternoon Dumplings, hope the w'end is going well for all.

Ifyouhappy, I had exh over last year too & even though he behaved like a twunt, I've no regrets about it. It's great for the dc's if you can manage it, in fact I'd have done it again this yr if it was at all possible.

My parents took dc's for a few hrs today & I picked up most of the last santa bits. I had a chat with my df last wk about lack of support etc & despite being a yr & a half down the road they finally seem to be getting message. Hope it continues now .

Couldn't sleep last night due to headcold & am feeling v weepy today over how badly exh has treated us. Am going to have a hot bath later & allow myself a little weep.

MD has been offering his help in anyway but I'm too miserable for company at the moment so I'll leave it off till I'm back in form.

Have been thinking for a long time about getting a puppy for the kids (to help the healing & new life to home etc). Have a friend that runs an animal rescue centre so I've spoken to her. Anyone have any particular recommendations on what breed would be most suitable as a house dog & with small dc's?

Hi Startingover - hopefully Xmas with XH will be ok. Does rather seem to be me making all of the effort though . Really sad, the situation with your XH, I think a good sob is probably a good thing. Keep on trying myself but for some reason can't get the tears to come.

Not sure on the breed on the puppy front but I do think it's a great idea. I guess some internet research is needed! We have a cat, who is keeping the DC's greatly amused.

Mmm now living life vicariously through Dirty Dancing. Great movie.

Hi all

If youre happy will be having H for Xmas eve and all Xmas day. Not quite sure how it will work but great for DCs too.

Starting glad you had a good chat with MD - good to be able to talk when youre not having the best time. Glad youre getting a bit more support. Lovehoney order made so def equal in the open on embarrasing detail front!

As for dogs we always had labradors -sometimes not pure bred. They are fab with kids but need a good bit of exercise.I would tend to be wary of all pure bred dogs now as there are so many problems due to inbreeding - would go myself for a mix now. We have no animal and my kids are desperate for a cat so may succumb for January although bit scared of the responsibility.

Went to lovely party last night and ended up chatting first to one lovely guy from across the water, then his friend, then a lovely 19 year old. All very ensconsed with women but had a great chat and a great night. Suffering today a bit but feeling ok. Bought most of Xmas food in today and hope Ive got enough. H was nice to me today when he brought the kids back. Hope it lasts.

Trying to get my head round that a new year will be soon. Plan to stay in with kids to be honeest on NYEve -dont really feel like anything else.

Hope you all have a good week!

Hi Ifyouhappy, hopefully all will go well for you with xh at xmas. At least you'll be able to say you did everything you could for dc's. I can find it v hard to shed the tears aswell to the point it can be a blessing when they come.

Here's looking forward to a great 2010 for all of us.

Hello everyone, hope you've had a good weekend.

Bit of a flying visit but I wanted to say that you might be better off with a slightly older dog, Starting - puppies are a bit of a nightmare what with the housetraining etc. As for what breed to go for, don't get a Border Collie - I believe they aren't really suited to domestic life, I'd be wary of little terrier types ( can be a tad nippy ). I've had experience of Labradors and Retrievers with young children, they've been excellent but if you're getting one from a rescue you need to take the advice of someone who's worked with and knows the character of each dog because breed alone is not a completely reliable indicator of the dog's suitability for family life. Good luck, I think bringing your dc up with a dog in the house is a hugely positive thing - they're much more reliable than men for a start.

Hope you feel better tonight.

Hello Dumpettes!

Had a nice weekend with friends although the dcs have been snotty and whingy. DS1 said he wanted a new mummy although the sadness of this predicament was tempered slightly by declaration that his new mummy would be just like me with my "weird hair". Thanks darling.

Startingover - no advice re puppy(of the dog variety) however much at prospect as I've always hankered after a dog although am in no position whatsoever to get one.

Caramela - there aren't that many places north of the border so we may be teeing from the same green??

Anyhoo - with regards christmas I have xH staying for 3 days and I suspect I will not be online much so I'm relying on the combined good vibes of the dumpette army to get me through. At this time, as well as eating our fill of turkey and Aldi's finest nibbles we have to have The Conversation about Access and Assets. Merry Christmas!

I hope you've all had a great weekend Festive chins up and seasonal tits out!

Sorry - forgot to add, Startingover - hope you're feeling a better. A good weep sorts things out usually and therefore is a good thing.

Thanks all.

Mumfun, seriously recommend a cat. Twunt became v anti pet and so was a non starter for us while he was here. Is fab to have a pet around the house again now and DC's are loving it. Not feeling like much of a responsibility - didn't get dog as that did feel like to too much right now for me although would love to do that too at some point.

Caramela. You're right on the pet front. Sooooo much more loyal and reliable.

Startingover, glad it's not just me that can't force the tears. You're right it's good when you can force em out sometimes.

Mavis, I could be wrong but with my Miss Marple hat on I deduce that you may be alluding to a very old university associated with golf - if so they're not from the same place. BF is from a newer one with a financial ring to the name. ( I like this game ).

Gosh, I missed a lot of activity, so glad to see the dumplings reuniting. Am burning up & too ill to sleep so got up to raid kitchen cupboard.

Mumfun, sorry I missed your post earlier. Glad to hear you had such a good night out last night. Hopefully all will go well for you with ex at xmas, well done for having him over anyway, I know it's not easy.

Caramela, thanks for all the info & it's pretty much what my friend in the rescue centre said. She's about 40 dogs at the moment & some puppies so she's going to let me know if any of them would be suitable for dc's. I've been dragging my heels on it for a long time & wasn't able for the extra responsibility up to now but I think I'm ready to take the plunge now. Anyway, being realistic my days of 4/5 holls a yr are well & truely over & if I do go away there are boarding kennels over the road from me.

Mavis, three days wow, I'll be sending you lots of positive energy . You could always take advantage of having another adult on hand & hit the town.

Waves at Ifyourhappy, missed my opportunity to have a weep & am too physically sick now so will have to save it till next time!

The three dc's put on a xmas play for me tonight, it was so sweet bless them. They're getting all excited about santa coming, oh I so love xmas. It'll probably be my last yr for eldest dd believing in santa so I just making the most of the excitement.

On that note, for anyone who has young dc's you can do a great message from santa on line at portablenorthpole.tv/. Well worth doing.

Which reminds me, my personalised calanders arrived y'day & are fab (pics of dc's for every month).

Ok, am obviously delireous from fever as I could keep rambling on all night, so I'd better get myself off to bed.