ALL NEW Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Come in here and chat about erection-texts, lechy lecturers and getting the painters in.

Hello fellow Dumplings and welcome to the new initiates to The Way of The Dumpling - have a laugh, have a moan, share in an inappropriate but entertaining way about sexual adventures - it's what we do.

I have read the latest posts from everyone but because I am in the initial stages of losing my marbles, can't remember details. I can tell you why life is easier without a man in the house though, because generally they're a bit rubbish, they need constant reminders to do anything and then they want you to make a big fuss of them for doing whatever it was when they do it. So much easier to just do it yourself.

Starting, ' that's nice ' ? have you told him to calm it down with the dirty talk ? He's probably a bit reserved still isn't he, bless him. I have every faith that you will iron out any minor niggles with his performance - BF does this thing where he gives me what I presume he thinks is an ' ooh look at me, aren't I naughty ? What am I going to do to you now ?' look just before he commences the old CL. It is ridiculous, it has all the eroticism of a man trying to sell you a microfibre cleaning cloth, however on balance I am able to disregard it as I am more than happy to be getting a bit of action once again. I don't discount the possibility that one day I may say ' don't bother with the gurning, just get down to it, you muppet ' although I can't imagine that it would be a relationship high point.

hello - I'm just goint to lurk for a bit, i feel way to shitty to comment anything constructive at the moment.

Christ, I can't even type, I've just corrected about ten typos in this message alone.

(begins lurking)

Ah Katiekitty, that's the thing - you don't need to be constructive here - you know how you worry about boring RL friends by going on about your dumper and how unhappy you are ? Here it doesn't matter, we've all been there - all sat sobbing for hours, fallen asleep crying, woken up crying, cried looking at dumper's mother's house on Google Maps, cried buying socks because they were just like dumper's, had to leave a shop because they were playing ' All I Want For Christmas is You ' and it's just too close to the truth ( those last 3 are examples from my own path of shame ). It's ok and once you've had some tragic wankstain on PoF send you a photo of their miniscule erection, you'll start to feel better. I promise.

I'm an advanced dumpling - already been down the route of cock messages from internet suitors - I think I'm in the life is shit phase of it all at the moment.

Evening Dumplings, hope all's going well for my fellow dumplings.

Caramela, glad I'm not alone in the cringe worthy looks & comments! Yes, I think he's teachable so I'll give things a chance for now. Forgot to say, I have become v closely acquainted with mammy .

Agree with my fellow dumplings that the healing process needs to involve slumping on the couch in hideous rags/pj's with copious amounts of comfort food! Also agree that daily living can be a lot easier with the absence of twunts!

KK, embrace the "life is shit" phase because things greatly improve once you've accepted this gem of wisdom! Glad you have already been inducted into the world of PPT's (phantom penis texters). Keep posting.

Evening Dumpettes!

Well, I did work my way through a weeks worth of messages but, like Caramela, my brain is not what is was in the retaining information department so I will respond with a wide reaching "aren't we all doing well"

Evening dumpettes

All good in the Surrey branch. Have completed my evening of light alcohol and amateur musicianship and am now ready to try to keep warm in front of the TV.

Mavis, wa hey! a very successful result I think!

Startingover and Caramela "nice problems to have" I feel. I myself can share that I have had two blissful fun filled nights having woken up with interesting memories of highly erotic exploits with two quite unsuitable suitors (sadly for some reason I had strange dreams about two people I don't know that well, both completely "wrong" for me). Ahem, that's about as good as it gets at the moment!

KK, welcome to our world.

Evening Fellow Dumplings,

Mavis, a big congrads to you, I know how hard it is to try & study on top of everything else. Well done & enjoy your few glasses to celebrate.

Ifyourhappy, glad your dreams are keeping you entertained.

MD is about to arrive any min now, so round 3 shortly about to commence. Will update after event . Hm.......... "this is nice" . Fuck, I'm going to break my arse laughing if he says it again, I'll probably totally fu*k up the moment.

Morning Fellow Dumplings, if there's anyone left here!!

Well, I'm happy to report that MD redeemed himself last night. I had plently of CL action & he hit the right spots . Not a mention of "Hm...this is nice", but I was tempted to say it myself following the CL action . So, MD is a keeper for now .

Caramela, what's the update with BF???

argh SON I am sooooooo jealous!!!

tbh I'd put up with a fair bit of 'this is nice' myself for a bit of CL action

Me too....

Waves to everyone.

Congratulations Mavis, even more of an achievement when you have young dc - I'm well impressed. I hope you're planning a special Christmas present to yourself and that your ideal job arrives on a plate for you .

Startingover, could you put any more s in your last post ? - CL will do that to a Dumpling, I find. I'm glad MD is showing signs of promise, I bet you're pleased you took the plunge - egged on by your fellow Dumplings. Will you see him over Christmas ? Do you think the next move will be him getting a tattoo of you to sit next to mammy ?

There's no real update with BF, he lives a long way from here so although we've been in touch every day, the earliest I'll see him is the New Year. Things are absolutely fine - all ' I love you ' and smutty texts but then they were before when the dumpings came out of the blue so I'm maintaining a healthy degree of scepticism - at least that way I'll protect myself from any future wobbles.

SON, I am so envious.

I had a date lined up this Sunday, but guy emailed me this morning to say he met somebody last week and that he had to cancel.

Feel bit down at the moment, seems everybody is meeting someone except me (which is not true of course)

urk! DG I have gone on match.com recently and been chatting to a guy I seem tohave almost everything in common with, but from the photos it just doesn't look like the attraction will really be there

you never know though do you.

I know it sounds so stupid and irritating and I often shrug it off when people say it to me, but you just have to put your head down and keep trying, things turn up when you least expect them.

Over 10 years we are going to meet someone and (at least) have decent sex eventually?? surely??

AG, 10 years? I will need instructions how to do it by that time!

I'm just trying to take the long view DG

i.e., think of 10 years in front of you and surely over that time there isnt' going to be constant man famine??? !!!

Dumplings, sorry haven't time to comment on previous posts at the moment. Mmmwine, I'll come back to your later.

I posting now so that anyone who happens to be hovering can hopefully give me some advice. I had posted previously that MD was a best friend of my best friend's husband. Had discussed this previously with BF & she was adament that I should go for it & that it might be a bit akward between her & hubby but that it would sort out. A bit of background, her & her dh have been having a lot of problems in marriage & she always rings me for advice on this. He dh does not talk to MD about any of this stuff but MD does talk to her dh about his relationships etc..

Anyway, she rang me earlier & was basically saying that MD & me being together is a huge problem for her. She didn't want me to finish with MD but said it was her & dh had argued about it & that she would probably have to pull back from me over it. The issue for her is not so much that she is worried that I will talk to MD about her marriage problems but more that she doesn't want her dh to know anything about me.

Sorry if this is garbled, am rushing to bring dd to carol singing. Help, what the fu*k do I do about this????????? Jesus Christ, is anything ever going to just be easy for me.........

BTW, I would finish with MD in a shot but she insisted this was not what she wanted & to be honest while I could end up finishing with MD over the next few wks anyway, I think I'd be v resentful if I ended it over this.

Just a quickie, Starting as I'm cooking tea - imo a really good friend does not make demands/suggestions, whatever you want to call it, about their friend's relationship and the implications it holds for them. I would be seriously pissed off if one of my friends imposed on me like this, especially considering that she must be well aware of a ll the rough times you've been through. I would be very tempted, were I you, just to suit myself - you deserve to be a little selfish.

Hope this is some help, have fun .

agree SON, you deserve to put self first after what you've been through with the dumpage etc.

Startingover yeah, I agree with Caramela and AG really. I think you need to do what works for you and find a way to pick through it with BF if possible - there must be a way to do that (not sure what it is though ).

SON, I can't understand what exactly the problem is here.

Why does your friend have a problem with her husband knowing certain things about you?

Dumplings, I am actually crying typing this & I hardly ever cry. When I was at the carol singing with dd, my exh brother came along & verbally attacked me for testifying against his brother. I was devestated to say the least. This brother knows how violent exh got at the end of marriage & never tryed to condone it before now.

He was giving out to me as if I was the one who's behaviour was a disgrace. I feel so upset after all I've been through with exh to have someone attack me like that. Am also now worried that whole family is going to turn against me.

Oh fu*k, looks like I'm losing best friend & extended family all in the one day!

Best friend is v insecure & feels shut out by dh, so she feels like I'm crossing over to his side now. I sent her a text asking her to ring me back at lunch time but still haven't heard from her so it's not looking good.

Oh crap, I'm having a bad day!!

Starting's problem:

Agree with Dutchy that I can't see what harm BF's DH knowing about you would be.

BF cutting back/off from you won't solve the 'problem' of MD talking to BF's DH.

You need to keep your BF and MD (until you feel you don't want to any more).

Your BF needs to keep her DH and you.

Solution 1: ask MD to keep the details of your relationship to an acceptable minimum with BF's DH (not that he should have to by the way but it could help).

Solution 2: All go down the pub and sort it out over a drink or three.

Maybe not much use but had a go!

Starting - sorry about the ExBiL incident.

It's absolutely not your fault. You did the right thing.

Families can and do stick together at times of crisis so he is taking his brother's side (for now).

You keep your family safe and together as you have been doing for so long.

Don't let him get you down.

Chin up, tits out.