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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hundreds of Bankers Confess Reasons for Cheating

179 replies

bankonme · 01/12/2009 20:14

Illicit Encounters, which has over 380,000 members UK-wide, surveyed over 600 men and women to compile the list.

The Top Ten was created by analysing the responses of 639 bankers, who were asked the question, "What were the three main reasons you decided to pursue an extra-marital relationship?".

1st To Feel Loved - Bankers have become Public Enemy No. 1 since the credit crunch hit, so are seeking out some overdue affection.

2nd For The Thrill : Professionally, bankers enjoy a good thrill - risk is partof their job. Many said they were simply looking for a real thrill.

3rd Unstable Home Life - Unsociable hours and long journeys into the city meanBankers spend much time away from home; the lifestyle doesn't promote a healthy relationship.

4th To Escape The Mundane - Fantasy and romanticism play a large role in mostpeople's extra-marital relations.

5th To Boost Their Ego - This was a common response amongst male members.

6th To Avoid Costly Divorce - Many members saw an affair as a way of simply avoiding an expensive divorce

7th To Lavish - Bankers want to find someone they can spend all their hard-earned money on.

8th Because They Feel Entitled - Long hours, high stakes and tough decisions make banking one of the most stressful professions out their. Some members see their affair as a reward for their hard work.

9th Because They Can - Opportunity certainly plays a role. Late nights at the office and evenings out drinking provide more chances to cheat.

10th Peer Pressure - Affairs are common in the city, and, especially for male bankers, taking a mistress can be somewhat of a status symbol.

OP posts:
blondebimbo · 06/12/2009 22:56

thanks ladies

i'll let u know what happens. bit shell shocked at the mo TBH...

RumourOfAHurricane · 06/12/2009 23:46

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BitOfFun · 07/12/2009 00:04

I wonder how someone's husband found this? Tres bizzare.

InMyLittleHead · 07/12/2009 01:06

Lesson of life 379: always log out.

blondebimbo · 07/12/2009 02:51

and clear the search history

Imablokepleasebegentle · 07/12/2009 10:53

Following on from Blondebimbo's experience... there is a program called ccleaner which can be downloaded free from www.ccleaner.com and will remove all temporary files and internet history.

Kaloki · 07/12/2009 11:10

The other option is not putting incriminating stuff on public forums. Or just not doing it

RealityIsHungover · 07/12/2009 11:15

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anotheridentity · 07/12/2009 11:35

Great contribution Reality!!

I think this thread is fascinating actually and I think a lot more of us would have been more open if it wasn't for lame ass posters looking to flame everthing and everybody

Lulumama · 07/12/2009 11:38

am sure there are plenty of fora you can go to discuss how to get away with cheating on your partner, MN is not one of them, too many women been hurt by infidelity.

and at blondebimbo and her 'husband' on this thread

RealityIsHungover · 07/12/2009 11:44

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HappyWoman · 07/12/2009 11:47

but thats the point - most GROWN UP people do think there is more to life than a great shag.

Sorry you are hurting blonde but playing with fire and all that. There was something lacking and i hope you find it for yours and dd sake.
In the future only take risks with your life and not that of your dd.

anotheridentity · 07/12/2009 11:48

Well post somewhere else then

gentletouch · 07/12/2009 12:06

Whether or not you agree with what Blondebimbo did (or even whether you believe its true), there is an important point here...

If you do embark on an EMA, I guess most people work on the assumption that they won't be found out. Maybe that will be the case, but you must consider what happens if you are.

I think men and women look for an EMA for different reasons; for men its to get some more, for women its to find what they are missing.

I know this is a predominantly womens forum but I read an article in the paper on IE recently and it claimed to have a 50/50 membership between men and women. So there are lots of women looking for an EMA - but obviously not people from this forum.

Having an affair is risky and if you play with fire you might just get burned.

HappyWoman · 07/12/2009 12:10

if this can save just one person from being so selfish then there has been some good.

I am not on my high horse i just think too many people embark on an affair for all the mentioned reasons and dont give a thought to what might come of it all.

We need to be more open to the 'dangers' before we just please ourselves.

Affairs only continue because those involved dont really think they are hurting anyone else.

Malificence · 07/12/2009 13:02

I'm with reality on this one, load of bull from start to finish.

And Imabloke.. - do you think that informing people how to keep internet secrets is really admirable? A wiped history is more suspicious I would have thought.

People doing the dirty deserve to get found out - I wonder how Tiger Woods thought he wouldn't get rumbled?

If the blondebimbo saga is true ( which is highly doubtful) all I can say is GOOD!

InMyLittleHead · 07/12/2009 13:17

Malificence, if it is true (which I doubt) then why is the result good? Before - the affairs were happening, the husband knew nothing and was fine. Now he knows and is devastated. What's the point in that?

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/12/2009 13:35

What a crock of shit. Of course the blondebimbo and her husband scenario is a load of rubbish.

And what a vile thing to do - illicit encounters indeed . People trying to excuse the fact that they are cheating the person they are supposed to love and are sharing a life with.

It is very difficult when there is an element of sexual incompatiblity in a relationship (voice of experience), but the answer is not to go on some daft website and sign up for anonymous sex with the first twat who crosses your path. Anyone who does this and bleats that 'their needs are not being met' is deluded and trying to justify thier cheating ways.

And, is everyone supposed to be entranced vby the fact that men pay £100 but women get their kicks for free? And it's wonderful to have all the 'attention?' Attention from people who are married and who are lying and being deceitful? Lovely. You can keep it, thanks.

GetOrfMoiLand · 07/12/2009 13:37

There are some blithering idiots on this thread.

Thankful to see the normal voices of sanity.

SqueezinAroundTheXmasTree · 07/12/2009 15:00

Hear, hear Getorf!

higgle · 07/12/2009 16:30

There are lots of people who post on here who might not want thier children and DH's to be able to track down what they are saying - including in particular those who post that their DHs are not much good in bed but they are going to remain faithful - so no higher moral ground to be had here - I'd imagine any man would be unhappy about discusion of his sexual performance on th einternet. Selective deletion is a much better idea, though more fiddly - I certainly wouldn't want DS1 & DS2 to find out I mentioned them in posts, particularly those about DS1's unusual medical condition.

Imablokepleasebegentle · 07/12/2009 18:01

Malificence - The point of my post on the history cleaner is that it's just good practice. I would recommend everybody to do it irrespective of whether they have anything to hide from a relationship point of view or not.

Your PC stores your online banking details, your Amazon details etc etc as well as your Mumsnet posts and Mr Burglar might be quite interested in at least 2 out of the 3.

blondebimbo · 07/12/2009 19:52

i see that a lot of you don't actually belive my 'saga'. there is not much point in trying to convince anyone.

for those who do belive me - all i can say is that gentletouch is right on a few accounts.

  1. if you play with fire...i didn't think of the potential cosequences of me posting the stuff. it caused a lot of hurt and most likely ruined my family. it wasn't a calculated risk and certainly wasn't worth it
  1. people look for affairs for different reasons. Mine was desperation. It wasn't just about lack of sex (my post sounded much harder then it was intened), but about the inability to regain the pre-baby balance in our relationship and in life. I felt i was pushed into a corner and i didn't know how to get away.

And for those who are giving me a hard time - i didn't actually HAVE the affair. the reason i posted was cause i was confused and looking for answers. saying that it's GOOD that someone's family just fell apart is actually quite mean. you might see this forum as a place to discuss cloth nappies and cake recipes, but i always saw the relatinship section as a place where troubled souls can pour their hearts out (as long as they clear the history). and i hope it will stay this way.

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/12/2009 20:05

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blondebimbo · 07/12/2009 20:12

which bit do you think is funny Shineoncrazydiamond?