am i an old fashioned budiamma?

[stitch]

but i always thought life was supposed to go , childhood, youth, marriage, kids and responsibilities.
why do people have kids when they are still kids themselves?
why do people have kids without getting some sort of legal connection, ie a marriage certificate?
what is this dillydallying around, 'oh, we are expecting our first child, but dont want to get married yet?'
why do people make life difficult for themselves by trying to do everything at the same time, kids, relationship, education and carreer?

or am i just not in tune with the youth of the 21st century?

oooooo - I didn't know I was MC - ooops better start acting like I am LOL

"what values are you passing on to your younger generations? "

Lots of values thankyou very much, my boys will be both be taught at contraception when they're older, about 'living in sin' (although admittedly we did it for 6 months before marriage - partly for 'safety' reasons.......didn't fancy living along in a country that was starting to go down the tubes), about education (which I skipped LOL), career (hopefully the business will be a fine example to them) and how to aim for the best.

Lonelymum - stich said "buddiamma is literrally translated as old woman, but more than that, carries connotations of being old fashioned, past it etc. couldnt think of the english equivalent, so use dthat phrase. "

Not sure what language it's from, I've never heard anyone using it before

I would think it's Hindi or Urdu.

The way my life was 'supposed to go', I should be married to John Taylor of Duran Duran now.

Proof, if proof were needed, that life never pans out exactly as it should

rotfl @ snafu!

Once upon a time I wanted 11 kids - thank god I never followed through on that one!

I can't find any word budiamma referenced so it may either be a pet name or a wrongly spelt anglicisation or correctly spelt in its own language (I've tried the obvious other spellings) so I guess it means traditonal grandma - I'm one of those

I'd be quite interested to know its origins stitch

Stitch - I think a lot of women of my age/generation (36!) were lucky enough to have more choices in life than previous generations - the chance for higher education, to remain single, to live a bit of life before choosing to settle down. That's not to say getting married early/having a baby early also wasn't a valid and good choice - but that's the point, more choices than ever are available to us.

I chose to go to music college, have a fab time (so fab in fact, I didn't get my degree... ahem. )and not settle down until I was in my mid 20's. I then chose to settle down with a woman and start to make a career for myself.

So, in my 30's I've ended up having kids, having a good career and being in a relationship that certainly at the moment can't result in a marriage. But other than the same sex thing, I can't see that this is odd/unusual these days and at the moment I'm heading towards having the longest lasting relationship in my family - including my parents' and brother's marriages..!

Reading back over this I'm not sure what my point is really, other than c'est la vie and life's probably no more easy or difficult than it used to be, but is just potentially different if we want it to be!

btw I think that stich has opted out of this conversation. You could always join in her next one on: things we are not allowed to say on mumsnet (sorry - I'm not good at links yet)

Can't say I blame her for quitting this thread. People have rather stuck the boot in and kicked the proverbial out of her.

And no I don't incline towards her views on marriage v cohabiting, young mums etc...but think it's a real shame that people can't disagree with her without resorting to the usual abuse and insults. (Not everybody on this thread granted - but a number of contributors)

Hi Dot - nice to see you around.

Liked your post. If only everybody was so measured and reasonable (not a trace of irony there - being genuine)

Lost my whole youth to dh1, dd1 and millions of responsibilities.

Got divorced, went to university and worked while still having responsibility of first child. (Lost most of my 20's and early 30's)

Lived with dh2, worked, had dd2, then got married.(Lost my late 30's and early 40's)

Still married to dh2, still responsible for dd2, work at home.(Lost my late 40's)

Hope to lose the rest of my life in similar vein.

buddiamma means old woman with connotations of being old fashioned, boring, etc. couldnt think of english equivalent so used it anyways.
but let me end this thread.

yes, apparently i am a buddiamma.

thank you all of you who supported me. especially those of you who disagreed with my pov but supported me still. hope to chat with you on other threads in the future.