am i an old fashioned budiamma?

[stitch]

but i always thought life was supposed to go , childhood, youth, marriage, kids and responsibilities.
why do people have kids when they are still kids themselves?
why do people have kids without getting some sort of legal connection, ie a marriage certificate?
what is this dillydallying around, 'oh, we are expecting our first child, but dont want to get married yet?'
why do people make life difficult for themselves by trying to do everything at the same time, kids, relationship, education and carreer?

or am i just not in tune with the youth of the 21st century?

Pecka

PMSL

thats right ndp, and if they dont want to tell me, then they are not going to reply to this post are they?
i asked a question. those who felt confident in themselves and their choices chose to reply. you are the only one who has gotten stressed and is constantly being nasty to me.

pecka, i have been a student mum, a single mom, a married mom. a working mom and a sahm.
i am merely interested in other peoples viewpoints.
actually, having read the original post, i guess i have used my usual tactlessness in phrasing my query.

I was is a similar situation to giraffeski...

Long-term relationship using contraception (for the good it did us!!), and ended up pg with a man who did not want me to be. We broke up.

Nearly 2 years on, I am living happily with my dd who sees her now very loving dad at least twice a week and going to Uni to try and build us a decent future.

I am not trying to make my life difficult and I am happy in it and yes I did get pg younger than I planned (22) but I decided to keep my baby and have never made a better decision.

Those are my circumstances, I have dealt with them and I am happy.

Message withdrawn

sallystrawberry, you're not youth (only as I am still 29 )

i feel like doing a flounce.

sally, you are as old as you feel.
at the moment i feel about two hundred.

Off you go

You have been a touch judgmental.

Come back when you have stopped reading the Daily Mail.

It is a comic not a newspaper

i do not read the daily mail
i have not been at all judgemental. on the contrary, i have been judged by mumsnetters.

i am not a sheep, and i have my own opinions. thank you very much.
in the interests of raising my children well, i would like to know how other people feel about their choices as i can sample a much bigger population on the internet than in rl.

Thanks giraffeski

Well I did it all "right" and was most concerned about being careful as a teenager. I always thought it was part of being in the "AIDs" generation - all that don't die of ignorance stuff.

But then I had a clear idea of what I wanted as a teenager, and motherhood was not on the menu (says mum of two!)

So I did education, marriage, kids with career running parallel with the last two.

Have to say I rather wish I hadn't got married in retrospect - much more power for unmarried mothers in terms of parental rights.

I guess the answer is that some things in life you can plan for, but you can never tell what will actually happen.

I am however, appauled at the risks people run in terms not only of unplanned pregnancies, but more particularly sexually transmitted diseases - and not only in terms of what might be labeled as the "young and feckless" but also the "old and educated". I know accidents happen, but most methods of contraception are pretty reliable, and the risks are publicised pretty widely. Then again you could say the same for smoking. Maybe we all feel that it won't happen to us.

stitch you are soooooooo out of touch

(i am married btw and have and have a job)

well, i guess the people on mumsnet are all very different from real life people

in rl, all the women i know who are not married to their partners, but have kids with them have major relationship problems.
and the married ones also have problems.
the younger moms have problems. the older moms have problems.
i guess on mn every one is just perfect, has perfectly wonderful dps and kids. and silly me for thinking i could understand culture of real life from here.

I think like you stitch, but I'm not posting with my usual name because I can't take the appalling abuse being dished out.

Had you not noticed that mn is a bit mc?

sorry cd, i dont understand that term. am thicko. please explain to me.

mc= middle class I think stich

Middle class, articulate, media-savvy left-wingers as dh puts it.

stitch - because they have the choice to do what they want, when they want. Stop worrying about what other people are doing and concentrate on learning not to be so judgemental.

If you read stitch's original message, HappyDaddy, then you'd see she was asking questions.