am i an old fashioned budiamma?

[stitch]

but i always thought life was supposed to go , childhood, youth, marriage, kids and responsibilities.
why do people have kids when they are still kids themselves?
why do people have kids without getting some sort of legal connection, ie a marriage certificate?
what is this dillydallying around, 'oh, we are expecting our first child, but dont want to get married yet?'
why do people make life difficult for themselves by trying to do everything at the same time, kids, relationship, education and carreer?

or am i just not in tune with the youth of the 21st century?

gosh, what a lot of abuse i am getting.
mumsnet is about exchange of information. i am allowed to ask about peoples choices. and as starlover said, dont tell me if you feel offended.

I think lots of us don't make the connection between sex and babies all the time, Stitch. Sex is fun (or it was, way back in those hazy pre-children days when it was my favourite form of recreation).

I am not a teenager, but am 27 weeks pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. Yes, I did know that having unprotected sex could lead to having a baby, but as it was a week after my period started, didn't think it would happen. But it did. And then you get on with whatever happens.

agree that as a teenager you don't listen to much of what you're told. and that sex is FUN!

But we had sex ed at 10 and I knew THEN that sex led to babies. So, there is no way I would ever have had unprotected sex unless I wanted a child. And I didn't. ever. conceived DS ont he pill!

and contraception doesn't always work or you don't know your mr Right won't make a good dad until he and you have had 3 months of sleepless nights and are at the end of your tether. Not many people chose to be single parents

F*ck me stitch, what are you on ?

"..and if you get pregnant by a one night stand, then it is far more likely that the man might not make a good father.
etc etc "

SOME PEOPLE USE CONTRACEPTION OF ONE NIGHT STANDS AND IT FAILS !

SOME WOMEN WANT A BABY, BUT NOT THE BLOKE WHO IMPLANTED IT. NOT EVERY SINGLE MOTHER IS A WAILING, MAN-HUNGRY WENCH MOURNING THE LOSS OF THE 'PERFECT MAN' WHO IMSEMINATED HER.

Is it the heat? What is with these "let's have a heated debate!" threads? Did you and Gwenick both wake up wrong side out this morning? Aaargh.

giraeffski, i am asking people what there reasons are.
actually, i am getting offended now. ask a reasonable question that doesnt conform with the politically correct model of society at present, and you get abuse hurled at you. are we all sheep that we go ba? you tell me that i dont know about people being different, yet you are shhoting me down, because i am interested in why people make different choices.
and that you, is a generic you, not addressed to anyone person in particular

(and is it just me who doesn't know what a buddiama is?)

"CONTRACEPTION ON ONE NIGHT "

ndp, kindly dont post to me if you cant stay civil

(marthamoo I don't know either!)

As sallystrawb said, you were using deliberately Daily Mail-esque baiting language in your original post, people ( I know I was) were offended by your high and fucking mighty tone.

buddiamma is literrally translated as old woman, but more than that, carries connotations of being old fashioned, past it etc. couldnt think of the english equivalent, so use dthat phrase.

Stitch, kindly piss off this is a public forum

Ta for the explanation. I haven't been at all offensive to you, just pointing my point of view across. To sum up, in answer to your thread title question, the answer is yes

exactly ndp, and i am trying to have civil discussion, yet you keep hurling abuse at me.
so instead of discussing this, as i was with starlover, i am wasting my time defending myself to you.

pointing my point - lol
PUTTING my point!!!

thank you compo.
i guess i am then.

I havent read the whole thread but my response to your post was not fit for posting ;)

My circumstances almost directly contradict your ideals.

I had my first child at 18. Split up with her Dad when she was 1. Met my DP when she was 2. Had my second a year later. I owned a house when I met him. We have since bought another. We go on our honeymoon on Saturday and get married 2 weeks later.

So I did. Kid with 1st Dad, kid with second, house, honeymoon, wedding !!

Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
:D

You have no need to defend youself in the same way that the teenage parents, the unmarried parents, the student parents, the working parents and anyone else have no need to jusify or explain their reasons or choices to you.

forgot the single parents...

In my parenting career so far I have been a teenage mum, a single mum, a working mum, a sahm mum, a student mum - am yet to be a married mum -I hope its as good as all the others!