Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

I think boinging may have replaced the outmoded 90s moping. Hooray for Beautiful Tigger!

Boing boing boing boing boing boing boing!

Oi - lostmysparkle, you will not be "lurking here", you'll be bloody well joining in, and like it! In fact, I have a mission for you: tonight, go to match.com, then search for single men your age in your area. You don't have to create a profile, just search for men. You should be pleasantly surprised how many there are. Then return to Break-Up BaseCamp and report back about how you felt. If it's at 9pm MopeyTime you are allowed to feel miserable; outside these hours you have to be cheerful.

(You have been given this mission because of this line in your post: "I am actually a really nice person with lots to offer and capable of loving again. One day he will realise that." Don't wait around for him to notice that. Realise that many other men will notice that straight away! Life is too short, and the world too over-populated, for you to try to make one person love you. Basically, bugger him, he had his chance. how about now you start opening yourself up to meeting a man who's spent all his life searching for someone exactly like you?)

hey there...can I join? 6 months ago my BXP left me, 10 ten days before my 40th birthday to put icing on the cake... was SD to my 9year old and we have a now 18 month old. well, we I say, he's shown no interest in either of them for last few months. . . Thought I was getting better, well I definately had stopped crying every day, then Halloween threw me right off.... managed to stop crying for the party we had but oh my god just feel soo raw again.Why are so many of them such heartless cruel selfish childish pathetic BASTARDS? I ask myself at least once a day...and how can I prevent my daughters from having crap relationships too...

oops have just seen there are 6 pages and have only read first... will catch up now

TOP TIP ALERT

for any wanna lose weight ladies The Idiot Proof Diet is the only way... kind of easy to do Atkins .. No carbs basically but loads of lovely cheese n cream n meat etc....

Evening to all you luscious ladies!!! Hope you've managed to keep your chins up and chests out today.

I did a bit of a smug married clothes clear-out a few weeks ago but may just have to make sure all of these items are removed and start to replace them with sexy single wear.

I have actually started to buy some costume jewellery in the sales (and Primark) which I never used to wear......has cheered me up no end, just adds to an outfit and makes it look complete and have even had some lovely comments - in fact I feel slightly like a grown up!

I think the atkins like diet may be the way forward for me....I need to wean myself of toast first.

I live in Cumbria if anyone is around this way?

ha ha.....just googled how to spell luscious and here is the definition....

"juicy: having strong sexual appeal; "juicy barmaids"; "a red-hot mama"; "a voluptuous woman"; "a toothsome blonde in a tight dress"

Evening all! Just flying by at the moment, managed to read (but not digest) all the posts - will catch up properly later. I have an essay to write in the meantime (part of the big reinvention or should that be meinvention?) so will be back here between 9 and 10! (unless essay going really well, which I doubt).

Mutha - I grew up in Cumbria, friends and parents still there. Without outing yourself, roughly where are you??

Speak to you lovely ladies later

Mavis - I'm in the South of the county......as far south as you can get!

Hi all. Happy to report that I'm feeling slightly better today, having only cried about 3 times!! That's good for me.

Having a better evening and was very much looking forward to getting back on MN to join fellow dumpees this evening. Good to know you're not alone.

Hi VeryConfused, good to see you on here too. This feels like a fab support group and us ladies need to talk and talk and talk!!

I want to join the need to lose about 2 stone club and have been kick started by all the crap so have already lost one stone.

Now, have been thinking about my goals all day and these are:

1. Join local salsa club
2. Lose weight to feel better about myself
3. Do one thing each week that is new to me, ie, ice skating.
4. Join an archaeological club
5. Considering doing some voluntary work on my weekends off.
6. Finishing my counselling course.

I am going to try to live from hour to hour and not look too far ahead into what I fear will be a lonely existence.

Does anybody really miss sex? I never liked it much before xp but now really miss it. Sadly I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl but maybe I should give it a go! How to go about it though?

This would be a lot easier if I never had to see or hear from XH ever again.

Beautiful are you having a pre-9pm misery blip? Are you ok?

~Evening ladies. Great posts today. I already do the casual chic look most days & deff gives you a boost. Did the wardrope clearout & when exh moved back in & we were trying to make a go of things had a big splurge in sales, ya!!, so am well stocked in faboulousa gear courtsy of exh.

Went back to college last year & would also recommend this to anyone thinking of going this avenue. Great way of making new friendships & this year class has some fine young talent, so could also be potential meeting ground for like minded singles.

Follow up from my help post of y'day. Had exh on phone this am, he's deffinately in grovelling phase. He was fishing to know was I with someone & I was suitably cagey in my response. He's always been v generous but now that he's grovelling he's forwarding me lots of extra $$$$ to boost my new wardrope ,for xmas expenses, ha, ha, will be even more faboulousa.

Off to do bedtime,dc's have gone mental while their negligent mother is on MN instead of doing bedtime. Will try to make it back for moping hour

what's up beautiful? you ok? are you just having a 1990's moment?

Sorry girls, momentary blip in Fabulosity there!

Ex rang to speak to DC and asked to speak to me too, and I got annoyed with him for seeming chatty so I suddenly snapped, "I have to go now! Bye!" bonkersly in mid-sentence and hung up, then immediately regretted it as it must've made me look bovvered. Grr.

I just can't find the middle-line, the way of being that looks like I'm over him. You know, casual but aloof, friendly but busy, amused but being shagged up arse by better new man... And of course, even thinking about how I appear proves I'm suffering from Hope. Argh!!

Fuckitty fuck. This had better bloody be part of some massive Divine Plan.

beautiful, I have just realised who you remind me of

and I mean in a good, dizzy, loveable, funny, bright way....

Bridget Jones

lambypoo, I love your list! I really love it. There's loads there - you're not taking on too much, are you?! Enthusiasm is fab-u-lous but don't go burning yourself out into exhaustion! Salsa sounds great though, and the one new thing every week. Love it!

You sound soooo much more positive than yesterday. See?? We can do this!

AnyFucker - hee! Easy to make self sound like Bridget, just write without pronouns and insert "Argh!" and "fuckwittage" every 5 words. But I know what you mean. I loved the books, they were completely my life.

Thanks Beautiful. Sorry you had a moment with xh. Can't be helped can it. You sound like you've boinged back somewhat!

Prob is too much on list but will take it slowly. Def going to do salsa. May end up doing dirty dancing with fit single man? Not really interested in relationship at mo but a bit of casual flirting and rubbing up against would not do any harm. Who am I kidding, I'd be terrified!

I'm making the most of a reasonable mood tonight - may be all changed by tomorrow.

hey that's okay.....best to have those blips on here than in front of ex.

just keep practising the aloof/arse shagging attitude - if you keep thinking/practising you'll get there.

(just keep thinking whilst on the phone to him - i am being shagged up the arse right now/i am being shagged up the arse right now.....)

It's MISERY TIME!!! Let's all start pouring out our worst thoughts about this so we're ready for 9pm.

LOL! Thanks lamby and Mutha!! that'll get me laughing anyway.

shagged up arse shagged up arse shagged up arse shagged up arse

My Misery Download

1. That XH is in love with someone else, who is younger, thinner, blonder, bendier, cooler, sassier, smarter than me. Like the girl I was before I shagged him on the 3rd date and got all emotionally attached, tbh.

1. That I will never ever meet anyone else. Or if I do, he will be a completely ugly twat and my ex will meet him and silently sneer at me and feel even cockier.

1. That when XH sees me he thinks I look horrific, or sees through any attempt at coolness immediately and thinks I am pathetic.

1. That he will never ask to come back, so he will never find out that I plan to say No.

1. That he asks to come back, I say Yes and then he changes mind.

1. That I'm just too fat, old, over-enthusiastic and needy for another man to ever want.

1. That I will spend rest of life infatuated with Ex.

1. That he always thought I wasn't good enough.

1. That I won;t be able to cope with house, DC and work and will either have breakdown, lose DC or kill self. (Don't think this is likely, but it's my darkest fear.) Or that it will be like StepMom and I'll finally get self all over him and happy then be diagnosed with terminal cancer, and die knowing that Ex's new woman will get to see DC grow up.

10. That I'll never meet anyone else, that I missed my slot, that this is it now and nothing will ever get better again, ever.

God. I feel horrific now! I'm so glad we only do this for 15 minutes a day!

Hmmm... re-reding my Misery List, I realise that I'm completely obsessed with meeting someone new. I hadn't realised how desperate I must be for male validation. I think I should do counselling.

oh beautiful....i can't hang around but i do understand how you feel.

esp numbers 2, 6 and 10. i sometimes feel this too, but that feeling is starting to get less and less.

i do still feel sad sometimes, sad because we had such good times together, such a laugh and made some great memories.

remember this is still quite fresh for you but from your posts you are doing so well (and sound fab!) and you are entitled to wallow for a little while each day - as long as the fabulousness is there before and after.

and i think it is natural to go through the male validation thing as well.

sorry to run (evil first born wants to go on laptop) but will catch up with you all tomorrow