Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Oh Dumplings, come out, come out, where ever ye are........ I knew I end up on my own here..........

Fluffy, onwards & upwards now!

Hey staringover I'm still here been on a work break this morning cos bosses breathing down my neck and not in a nice way.

The half divorce feeling is a bit sad today, bumped into sis in law lunchtime and was forced to portray an air of nonchalance about it even though I'm far from it.

Oh well at least I am having my gate shaved later Looobies highlight of the day

ps the gateshaver man was from date the uk site loads of complete kn*bs on there though be warned

No I'm still here Startingover, struggling to prevent myself emailing you and asking for the Phantom Erection photo - I have found a clip art wizard's hat which I could imagine being a fetching addition. I should just grow up.

Have you been in touch with puppy yet ? What with you and puppy, Beauty and her dating adventures and Loobie getting both her end away and her gate shaved, I feel all left out.

Hi Loobie, glad to see you're still about. The divorce is bound to bring up feelings of sadness. Hopefully your cunny man will help to ease your pain a bit.

Well it was chucking it down with rain when he arrived and it still is, as much as i can be a heartless cow sometimes even I did not have the mean streak to expect him to shave my gate.

We just had a coffee and a chat then he went, which is good because tonight I have to iron all the stuff I stayed up until midnight washing and drying last night... Oh how exciting ... not!

Perhaps we should have the phantom erection photo as our lucky mascot forever attached to this thread. We could smirk at it now and again and think what a twit the idiot that sent it probably is.

Hi Loobie, think all other dumplings must have moved on. My dc's have been mental all day couped up with the rain, am on the verge of a breakdown.

Did you set up another date with the gate shaver??

Believe it or not I got a text last night from Mr Penis, saying sorry again if he had upset me etc but if not I might like some more pics??? Hold onto your gate shaver, the world is full of weirdos, I'm thinking I'll just stay single.

Hello Loobie and Startingover, I suppose the gate shaving can wait another day. I'm impressed by your self control.

Sorry your dcs are playing up, mine go a bit loopy when they have to spend any extended periods with each other, god knows what the answer is.

I am astonished that Penis Texter thinks you might want more photos - he seems very proud of his appendage. PoF seems full of, errr ,unusual and friendly gentlemen judging by the messages I've had - it's putting me right off.

Hi Caramela and Startingover seems we are the only dumplings left tonight.

Ironing done,and I am now going to drink a bottle glass of wine to celebrate the empty ironing basket and the half divorce status.

Seeing cunny loving gate shaver again tomorrow night he is taking me out for a chinese, hey don't some chinese restaurants have dubious ingredients in their dishes, maybe we could suggest that mr penis texter donates his to the next ling wah house special fried rice dish that will take the smug grin off his chops

Hello all!

Far too many messages to reply to in depth - I think 'gate shaving' is to be taken literally and isn't some elaborate (or not) euphemism...also far too scared to receive pics of disappointing members on my phone so shall save that for another day.

Feeling a bit better here, mainly aided by throwing all my rules out of the window and opening wine on school nights! I figure we're close enough to Christmas for it to be ok (that's my excuse, I'm sticking to it).

I have also dropped out of my current studies - I have been trying to do far too much so it's actually nice to not have to be working/working out/housework etc etc every night after looking after the boys all day although I now have no other identity than mother/dole-y scrounger which isn't quite as good. I suspect my evenings are going to be spent MNing whilst watching QI on Dave - this it Not Good.

Anyhoo - hope everyone is doing ok. I will be a far more active dumpette from now on in

Hi, I'm still hanging on, just about though. There's way too many strange blokes on smooch and POF, the cute ones don't reply, I must smell or they must be toads. My pal (not the toad) is taking me out before christmas though and there's always the hot doctors at work.

Hi Dumplings, glad to see you are slowly returning to the fold.

Carmela, crossed post, I'll just post Mr Penis's number directly on here I think & anyone interested can contact him directly. Would you believe I just got another text from him asking how my evening was going??????? Have I been reduced to this?????? Please tell me that given enough time of dumplinghood I will not end up finding said penis posing attractive! I can't muster up enthuasism for puppy, I know he guarantees satisfaction everytime but so does my rabbit & I don't have to engage or talk with rabbit (am so sorry for yet again lowering tone). Will keep puppy in reserve for now.

Loobie, have a glass of vino for me. Lucky you having a date with somebody normal who takes you out to eat & offers to shave your gates, not to mention the unmentionable, hopefully it'll take the sting off divorce.

Mavis, good to see you back, have another glass of vino for me also (will get drunk by proxy). I know what you mean by juggling everything, I'm worn out & have done shag all for college recently (no award this year!). I know I should be deciplined & apply myself instead engaging with psychos from the fishy place but I'm so brain dead by the time I get dc's to bed & house sorted, I'm good for nothing else anyway.

Fluffy, I'm convinced they're all psychos. I had loads of mail so just had a quick look & dickhead danny is online.. Really, I know I shouldn't be complaining as he's probably just another penis exposer in disguise.

I feel slightly drained & depressed tonight, this is not how my life should be!!

Hi dumplings. Just checking in.....

Been working all night in the hope of holding onto vaguely high powered job that is my saviour at the moment. Now completely knackered and still have work to do into the wee small hours. Job is fine but still a bit up and down at the moment so flurries of brilliance are combined with other flurries of dazed screen staring and mind wandering off to weird dating sites full of odd people.

Startingover "drained & depressed" - yes I'm a bit the same tonight.

Hi Ifyourhappy, glad I'm not alone. I get that too, periods that I'm great & then periods of depression like state. Tonight I'm sinking fast since dc's went to bed. I think reality is really hitting home recently for me that this is it. X has fu*ked off & left us. That my marriage is really over, I think a little part of me was waiting for x to get treatment & sort himself out. The reality of being on my own with three v young dc's is really begining to hit home. I have no family support, x has no access, I'm trapped!

Sorry, I've no witty words to cheer us both up tonight. I only know things will get better for all of us so we've got to hang in there. Hope you manage to have a productive night.

Startingover whereabouts are you in the country? I am in Kent it's not good you having no support and I know the truly awful reality of feeling trapped. Just wondering if any dumplings are near enough to each other we could maybe not quite form a commune but support each other a bit?

Today I have 3 huge great cold sores on my top lip, that will teach me to snog gate shavers face off when he has stubble won't it, so I look like I fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down I have cancelled the date tonight. Oh and my soon to be ex dad in law is currently shaving my gate lol typical been asking him for weeks then when I get my own personal gate shaver dad in law texts me to say he is on his way to do it.

Hi Loobie, oh you poor thing re the coldsores, cancelled date, DIL shaving your gate instead of cunny man! Get those see through patches (too early in morn to remember name), & you're lips will be restored to glory in no time.

Am touched re the offer of support, unfortunately unless there are any dumplings with a private jet then I'm off the radar (accross the water). Anyway, am feeling slightly less miserable this morn due to fact I got no sleep with two youger dc's & am too tired to manage misery aswell. I have great friends in RL so that more then makes up for having no practical support with dc's.

My misery was really more to do with xh & shite he's put us through.

Morning!

Startingover - I know what you mean about reality hitting. When everything first hit the fan about 6 months ago I was doing fine and was suitably kick-ass independant woman. I said then that it would probably all change when the dust had settled and yes, I suppose it has. My life is apparently about looking after 2 tiny boys all day and watching tv and MNing in the evening. No going out (well, I could go out but it would have to be for free as any spends would go on a babysitter), job prospects pretty dodgy and detined forever to pay someone elses mortgage. . Oh, and ds2 was up crying for 2 hours in the wee small hours so I will be going to be with them tonight (how very rock and roll!).

Loobie - bad luck on having to cancel your date but at least your gate it getting done!

Off to do the ironing now whilst ds2 naps. It just gets better and better!

morning startingover - sorry to hear you shared my nighttime misery. It will pass you know (tries to convince self)

((hug)) Startingover and Mavis you must both be shattered.

Compeed patches purchased I snuck out out of work and got some and the date is now back on , he thought I was dumping him and as this cold sore camp on my top lip is going to take a week to go away I may as well just go & let him see me looking like a duck billed platypus.
If he runs for the hills I will know he is a very shallow man

Dear Beautiful
Love your positive attitude! Also v healthy I think to allow a bit of wallowing time - last time I got dumped I allowed myself a whole weekend of debauched miserableness, got v drunk, v ill and my friends were great. Yes, still thought of him a bit for some time after, but it does gradually fade.
My tip for exercise - and this is easier too once you have more spare time, which is one of the few bonuses of sharing your kids - is little and often. Find something you like doing and try and do half an hour every day.

Loobie, delighted to hear patches purchased & date back on track. Enjoy it & don't forget to report back for those of us with less stimulating lives.

Mavis, I'm the same re work, by the time I would pay anyone for 3 dc's it would be pointless, hense retraining at college for now. Hopefully you'll be able to continue with your studies again when things are more manageable for you. I'm the same with dc's, if one of the younger ones wakes they always wake the other one & I end up having both awake. Had a bad run with them recently re coughs & colds but hopefully it'll come to an end soon.

I think the past week of madness with the online dating sites has really helped me to see though that I'm better off to just continue as I am for now. I don't need the extra complication of trying to juggle dating aswell. I don't think I'm ready for it & I wouldn't be able to manage trying to orgainse babysitters to get out. I think I'm just happy for now to enjoy my life as it is with dc's.

Operation house is continuing, my painter is starting tomorrow so there is great excitement with dc's over redecorating their rooms. I'm going to plough all my energies now in getting my college work back on track.

Mavis, I have got involved with a lot of sahm's & parent & toddler groups in my area & we organise a lot of coffee mornings in each others houses with our dc's, book clubs, play mornings etc.. This has saved my sanity because it gives me a fuller life & allows me to socialise with the dc's. Would you be able to organise a few things like this to get you out of house with dc's?? I also go visiting at w'ends or have friends over.

Of course i will report back I am jealous of your painter startingover but yes if you can distract yourself from the ex then thats a good thing

Got this by e mail made me smile

A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

Very good Loobie, I am going to print this off & use it to aid my visualisations of a future life with Mr perfect!!!

Hello everyone. Bad luck with the cold sores Loobie but I'm glad you're still keeping your date with the cunny loving gate shaver ( I think that's a phrase that will live with me for a long time )- I hope you have a fantastic time.

Mavis and Startingover, the hideous disturbed nights do pass, however, you replace them with what I had tonight - stand up fights ( 3 dc - 14, 12 and 10 ). The only consolation being that the oldest felt moved enough by my distress to clean the kitchen, start the dishwasher and give me a hug - he's taller than me now.
You have my complete and utter sympathy coping by yourselves with them -I had the 3, hundreds of miles away from family and friends, no job because we couldn't afford the childcare and a dh who worked long hours and in any case wasn't that interested in me and the dc. I have no idea why I didn't succumb to the bottle of Bacardi that used to sit on the side waving at me around 6 every evening. But here I am, out the other side with a semblance of independence - you get there in the end.

In other news, I've deleted my PoF profile - just far too depressing - I wouldn't sit next to half those men on the bus let alone talk to them. I also need one of you fabulous Dumplings to tell me that I am doing entirely the right thing by not getting in touch with Bollock Face - I want to sit whining and wailing like a 15 year old - " but I love him !". For god's sake give me a slap.