Beautiful's Road to Recovery for the Recently Ditched

[BEAUTlFUL]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether we were dating, cohabiting or married, we are now to use therapist-speak well effed-off about the whole business and are desperate to regain our fabulosity.

Well, this is the place! This is where we regain our positivity, our self-confidence and eventually our mojos. We might think at the moment that we'd also like to regain our men, but that might not last long, as we'll soon realise that anyone who could put us through this does not deserve us.

Come in and start regaining your brilliance! I will be setting us exercises to complete that are based vaguely on self-help books, beauy tips and Feng Shui, or we'll just have a right good bitch until we feel completely drained and sick of the sound of our ex's names. Whatever works.

Hello all - I'm still here, just lurking as I have a terrible headache and I just so tired. It's the unrelenting childcare with no support thing including only having a handful of nights were I've had more than 5 consecutive hours sleep in the last 8 months. So, as you can tell I'm in whingy mode so am going to go to bed.

Catch up later.

dates, sex

go for it gals - but keep it safe!

Def could do with some action but going to hold off for the time being - and take time to make bedroom beautiful so suitable for entertaining in future! Will remove box of car parts, ironing, xmas presents and DD's beads!

Mavis - do empathise with the tiredness as I dont get a lot of breaks but mine are sleeping better at present

Loobie - cant believe the inlaws have a pic of woman in room you were in - how insensitive! They could at least remove it when you are visiting!

Pic of penis on phone - euuugh! to be honest - what a loser. And loved Im so so sorry riposte too - great giggle and must be done!

Take care girls and have as a good week as possible

Mavis, you'll get through it, this time last week I was feeling exactly the same but I've slowed down a little this week, chilled with the DC's and much better now

Lamby I am later 40's so not at all gorgeous, young and thin. Like you I am lurking on a few dating sites but have not jumped in. Must be something wrong with me I think as all of the guys that are my age on these sites look old and not very appealing. And that's before a literacy check. Problem is that I actually feel about ten years younger than I am - sadly I don't think the younger ones would look at me though. Is it so wrong to deduct a few years do you think?

Beauty, I am suitably & will refrain from further use of the unmentionable word..
Am still laughing about the tishoos!

Caramela, thanks for your support in taking the flack & defending my position. At least you have an event Caramela, the most I have is the possibility of gate crashing a few events!

Mr erect penis has sent a few texts saying sorry if he upset me etc, haven't responded yet but am going to send a reply now saying not at all upset but v v sorry. It's kind of weird but I can't bring myself to delete it yet, was half afraid I might have an accident today & some innocent person would find this on my phone. It's a surreal experience, I was once a respectable married woman, I am now a dumpling with wierdos testing me pics of their erect penis. It's kinda like how did this happen to me!! Can't get my head around it.

Lamby, to ans you q, have known eager puppy for yrs as a friend, no spark or anything like that. For the past few yrs I would have talked to him a lot about my probs with xh. Four mts ago I did quiet a bit of moaning to him that my b'day was coming up & I needed to find someone to shag for the occassion. Anyway, b'day came & nobody had materialised, in pits of depression met him for a coffee & moan night of b'day. I was ranting on & on about my sexless life, xh being a bol*x etc when he said what about me? The one thing that really amazed me was that the sex was probably the best I ever had but somehow it felt wrong having sex without the spark/feelings etc..

Oh Christ, I've just realised I was truly mad to give it up. I'll have to try & crawl my way back I think.

Lamby, I know what you mean though, I can still miss xh terribly. I miss what we had before all the shite. Somedays I would just love to be able to turn back the clock & have a different ending. My dc's miss their dad terribly, it's all so sad. Being honest I would find it v hard to move on, even my diversion with eager puppy was hard because in my heart of hearts I still love xh.

You are not fat & ugly Lamby, you just need time to heal.

Loobie, I didn't have time to say it earlier but I think it's totally disrespectful of you inlaws to have girlfriend's pic up. I can't quiet believe they could be so insensitive. Glad you're having fun though.

Mavis, I am the same as you, have a desperate headache for past few days & feel completely worn out (I know I didn't help matters by staying up half the night entertaining Mr erect penis). I think having no break from dc's makes things v hard. I can feel v alone at times, have no real support with dc's at all, it's v sad & hard so I know where you're at.

Ifyourhappy, deduct as many yrs as you like.

Waves at Mumfun.

Ok dumplings, I know I'm becoming a little like beauty here, coming on every day & saying I'm giving up on men & then posting a few hrs later not quiet having given up........ (sorry beauty), anyway, I went on to the fishy place to delete profile but I got slightly distracted & am texting a v cute 32yo Danny as we speak......... to be continued.

LOL Starting! no offence taken at all! that's exactly what I'm like.

Am i doing this wrong, with my chaste coffees? You lot are all texting, gazing at hooge naked cocks and actually banging. i'm still acting like a teen virgin who's desperate to get married. Hmm.

I wish we all lived in a big commune where we could babysit for each other, help one another get ready for dates and stay up late discussing it all afterwards!

I think first jon for this week is that we all find a reliable, safe, trustwothy babysitter.

My next mission is to get gorgeous. I think a lot of my previous-marriage baggage would be outweighed by positivity if I were just stunning. You know, film-star stunning. I have great hair, good boots. Now all I need to do is lose 3 stone (eek) and sort skin out. And grow nails. And cut toenails. And deforest legs, buy stretchmark cream and put it on rather than just shove optimistically in cupboard.

Then I can get married and immediately let myself go again!

Hi all

Well having fun is all very well but I am shattered today. Could be because I was festering on the new girlfriends grinning face and could not sleep grrrrrrrr

yes my in laws are insensitive, but anything golden b*llocks wants to do is fine with his mum, only reason I tolerate it is because soon to be ex mum in law has terminal cancer and has been told if she makes it to Xmas she will be lucky

The commune idea is fab Beautiful

Hope everyone is okay today, better do some work now or I might get sacked lol

Morning Dumplings, Beauty I would love the commune. I have a babysitter but I have to get someone to collect her & it's a disaster, means I have to be home by 10.30 at the latest. Hardly great for trying to build a social life.

I look ok ish on the outside but since I said goodbye to my eager puppy I've left myself go atrociously in the places that can't be seen, leg hair you could plait etc.. I'm obsessional in buying all sorts of creams & potions that promise all sorts of wonderful things & leaving them in boxes gathering dust. My toenails are also severly neglected.

~Ok, that's my mission this week. I'm going to apply my face masks etc & tackle body hair (god forbid I had an accident & ended up in hospital at the moment). Ok, I'm gone, need to collect dc's.

On a brighter note I have just had an e mail pop into my inbox to say that at 10am tomorrow my decree nisi will be announced ..... hurrah half divorced golden b*llocks

oops half divorced from ...doh!

I'm back briefly, Loobie about your MIL, mine died a few wks ago, she had been a great support to me so a big loss. Congrads on divorce.

I'm off now to do a power clean, I miss my cleaner nearly as much as xh! My house is begining to resemble myself ok ish on the outside & the areas you can't see atrocious!

Thanks startingover it is dreadful, MIL and I were always very close ..........yet another casualty of ex's wandering c*ck!!!

"Wandering cock" gave me an interesting mental image! Actually, one I'm in no real hurry to forget...

Good afternoon Dumplings, I hope you've all had a good day.

Startingover, rather worryingly I began thinking about the erection photo this morning - do you have photo editing software on your mobile ? I would be sorely tempted to add a comedy moustache, hat and possibly a speech bubble and then send it back to him. I am very silly though. Any news of Danny or eager puppy ?

Loobie - I am aghast that you have to tolerate photos of knobbo's girlfriend being on display - any chance of sabotaging them in an incredibly subtle way ? Perhaps you could draw a moustache on her with an ultraviolet marker. Congratulations on the decree nisi.

Beauty, consider me another recruit for the commune, perhaps we could instigate some kind of Dumpling Cult, buy a mansion somewhere and all wear sequins and knee high boots. Have you texted Womaniser yet in a casual but alluring way ?

Lamby, it's nice to see you popping in again - you are not fat and ugly, repeat after me the Dumpling Mantra " I am fabulous, desirable and scintillating - any man would be lucky to have me ".
I know it's hard to stop missing the fucktards - I dream about Bollock Face every night and it's lovely - everything is as wonderful as it always was, then I wake up and my heart sinks when I realise it's all over. But that's ok, I love him ( he still loves me ' very, very much ' - like that helps, fuckmuppet ), until 24 days ago we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, it's just going to take a little time for to re-adjust.

Mavis, I hope you feel better today.

Hello Mumfun and Ifyou'rehappy - we need a wave emoticon.

Are all the men on PoF illiterate ? How hard is it to spell nerd ffs ? < disappointed hmmphhh >

Dumplings, I am estatic & it has nothing to do with either a man or the word I am banned from mentioning. I have to thank beauty for inspiring me with her words "power clean". I am one of those blessed individuals who's obsessional tendancies are not solely confined to xh, men or sex. I have the capacity to be multi obsessional.

Anyway, I have spent the FULL DAY cleaning, non stop, the kids were neglected & feed yougharts & banannas on demand. I have scrubbed tiles, bleached cleaned the grout, scrubbed baths, sinks, showers, polished, hoovered, & ironed, like a woman possessed. I can now barely walk but my house is gleaming.

Operation man was replaced with operation house. My painter is arriving tomorrow & I have booked in another few jobs that I had kept putting on the long finger.

I am now, as soon as I am capable of standing again going to apply a facemask, deep condition hair, tackle nails & body hair. I am getting my body prepared because I am nearly certain now that puppy is the way to go... least about of effort & maximum return everytime!!

Nada, from Danny, am barely surprised to be honest because from my brief exposure I do not thing anyone normal will by found in the fishy place.

Caramela, I am sorry that my exploits with the fishy place & exposing penis man is invading your mind. To be honest I did think about trying to load it on somewhere & create a link so you guys could have a look but I was half afraid I might be shut down for loading porn onto a parenting site!! still can't bring myself to delete it, am kind of peversely facinated, not that I am looking at it all day or anything but rather the knowledge that it is there, that I am in possession of pics of some strangers penis.

Oh dear DC is asking why I am laughing so much. Luckily he is on other side of laptop and can't see that I am laughing at your post Startingover. If only I had the penis pic . And can I pay you to be my cleaner? I guess in the commune cleaning is just something you'll do for us without payment though. I guess by the looks of it we'll need a beautician in there too - a job for you Beauty?

It's just occurred to me - we could set up a dating site for men that can spell, what do you think? Are there enough of them?

Caramela I am loving the moustache idea you made me laugh, glad I am not the only one that cleans frantically when everything else seems shite!! How is the penis pic holding up you deleted it yet lol

Well I have a new man moved in with me, arrived yesterday and gazes at me adoringly been sat cuddled up to me all evening and do you know what its bl**dy bliss. Okay okay he's a kitten 12 weeks old but hey if he's going to run to the door to greet me when I get home and snuggle up to me who needs men eh?! sorry to all dumplings that hate cats.

The cunny loving new man is coming round tomorrow to shave my gate .. yes gate ... down girlies. I hate bin days I really do and its the only time I have to open the side gate my house is like fort knox due to ex'x obsession with security but thats another story, and with all this rain it has swollen up ( stop thinking about that afore mentioned penis pic everyone) so I nearly broke the heel off my fab patent Ted Baker shoe/boots trying to kick it shut got a bit stressy and he rang me just as I launched myself back in the kitchen said Hi how was your day? so I did something bad I actually told him and as he is a carpenter he offered to come round tomorrow after work and shave it for me, wanted to know all sorts of bizarre things like it is a frame gate or a braced gate I thought eh?! but long and short of it is a man is doing something for me woo hoo!!

So that was my evening still waiting for the s*dding washing nmachine to finish because I have been distracted by a weekend spent trying to look fab for afore mentioned man and neglecting basics like washing and ironing doh!!

Beautiful I have thought about your womaniser man and sorry if I have missed an update but why not text him? Because of all your talk of speed dating etc he may think that you are 'just not into him'

Right galaxy chocolate is calling me I'm off, oh by the way startingover if they are illiterate steer clear nothing worse than that yuk!!

Ah Jaysus, face mask etc not done, spent the past hr on phone to friend while simultanously polishing interior windows, mirrors & skirting boards! Will probably not be able to move tomorrow. Ifyourhappy, I do not want position of cleaner, I am too unstable to maintain the high standards of today.

Glad I am keeping you entertained happy. Anyway, have decided due to unprecidented interest that anyone who would like to see the much discussed penis can email me their mobile no's to [email protected] & I will text it on.

At that point perhaps I will text Mr penis to say that as I felt so v v sorry, I posted it on the internet along with his mobile no so he should be getting the relevant help soon!!

On other matters, my friend has given the nod with regards to puppy so I think I may be heading in that direction soon.

Ah Loobie, I am so . You found a man that will do that deed which I am not allowed to mention & shave your gates!!!!! Where did you find him????? Put away your book girl, the universe is already taking good care of you (least you deserve after you exp with x). Yaha for Loobie, do you think he'll be up for shaving anything else when he's the gates done????

Oooo dilemmas.

for Loobie, I would just love to have someone mend my gate.

And Startingover - too scared to receive photo on mobile as is work mobile. Never mind, one day we could all meet and you could bring many colour copies.

Hello fellow dumplings, I hope that you are all well.

Well, my camp bloke's been offered a job in Bristol, a few hundred miles away, the toad's a real toad, updated his relationship status on FB, she's 23 (9 years younger), she wrote an interesting post on his wall about how she wishes they were still in bed , jealous of all the ones I've written me thinks, I appear to be the only person that posts apart from him as he's deleated alot from other people but kept mine. Would be fun to really piss her off if I could be arsed to do it.